Sigh. I really didn’t want to get any deeper into this question, but I feel compelled to say a few things.
I go to meetings. I don’t like to admit this. Not even my parents know. I go to NA, but have been to AA when there were no NA meetings available. The two are based on the same principals anyway.
When I first started attending meetings (No one made me go, BTW.), I was a little put off by the “Higher Power” talk and the semi-Christian overtone of some things I heard.
At the time, I was a practicing Pagan.
Very nearly everyone I talked to at those meetings told me that I did NOT have to be a Christian, no one was going to try to convert me and I would get just as much out of the program as anyone else, whatever religion I was. No one was shocked or confrontational. No one tried to “save” me.
The basics of the AA and NA programs were created and put together by people who were Christians. They found that church, God, religion and moderation were not enough for many people. It was those people that they set out to help. They DID incorporate the concept of a “Higher Power” into their program. At times, this is referred to as God. But they usually use the words “the God of your/my/our understanding.” This leaves the phrase open to ALL and ANY religious beliefs.
If you have no religious beliefs, it is simply understood to be whatever you believe can help you stay clean/sober that is OUTSIDE OF YOURSELF. It can be the love of your friends, the support of the group, your dog or any other damn thing you choose.
In my experience, people who try to push a particular religion in meetings are strongly looked down on, not as people, but for bringing specific religions into the rooms. They are almost always cut off when they begin to share in a “witnessing” fashion. This is usually followed by an explanation which basically states that we do not bring up particular religious belief systems in meetings. Not to say that some people don’t do it. But most members don’t appreciate it. I have not found it to be AT ALL the majority. There are always persistant jerks, of course. What they bring up after the meeting is all on them.
As far as personalities go, AA and NA are like any other large group of people. There are always some manipulators, jerks, assholes and self-righteous bastards. Both groups have a saying. It says that we (the group) must “place principal before personality.” This is taken to mean that we try to treat everyone as equal and deserving of love and compassion. Everyone there is working through a problem. It is harder for some, and “some are sicker than others.”
Whether or not the AA and NA programs work is completely up to the individual. I have seldom seen anyone who really wanted to get clean/sober fail in the program. I think that if things are bad enough, any recovery program is bound to do some good. If you go into meetings with an attitude, sit there without listening to a word, refuse all suggestion and advice and take no action to get better, OF COURSE IT WON’T WORK! This would be the same for any recovery program. NA and AA both admit that some people need outside help, like psychiatrists or therapy. Many members do those things as well.
All that beings said- If you have found that you don’t like AA or NA, that fine. Just get SOME kind of help. Very few addicts or alchoholics get and stay clean/sober alone.
I should also add that I myself often complain about and doubt the usefulness or necessity of meetings. It is in the very nature of an addict to be resistant to change. I have questioned whether or not I am an addict as well. This is also normal. I have come to the conclusion that, even if I am not, there is not a single thing in AA or NA that could hurt me. Most of what they teach would be useful to anyone.
), but I believe in that higher power. All it means is that I don’t have to tie down every loose end and I don’t have to worry about everything in the world. It helps me with my stress and I could see how it would help an alcoholic avoid taking that first drink.
