AaaaAAAaaRRrrrnnGGHHH!!!

The BBQ Pit
1

Why the effing hell did you… Arg! Such a complete waste of… ARG! What is this… Arg!

I… You… I… You… I… Arg!

…Kill you. That’s right! KILL YOU! DIE! DIE! DIE!

DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU COST ME? You belabor me! You INCONVENIENCE me! I don’t need your shit! I don’t need this worthless shit from you! I do not! give you! permission!

You can take your worthless diseased puny ideas, your mooching half-formed parasitic habits, your rank and bloated autoaggrandizing self-importance, your mangled empty fly-bitten codpieces, and go away and curl up and DIE!

I should hit you! I will hit you. And hit you! And hit you again! I will keep hitting you until pieces of you fall off, then I will kick you, then I will pull more pieces off, and I will stomp on those pieces, and I will crush the hard bits into dust, and I will flay the pulpy remains to shreds, and I will feed all your loose pieces to the sharks, and I shall laugh, then I shall pull your hair! Then I will sodomize you with a flaming barnacle-festooned pier piling wrapped with rusty razor wire and a blasting cap chaser! WITH NO LUBRICANTS! And then I will roll over your sorry-ass excuse for a corpse with an unlicensed fly-ridden Yugoslavian garbage truck! That’s leaking shit! And I will drop its shit on you! And then laugh again! Ho ho! The only pleasure you bring someone is when they watch you fall! You think anyone will cry for you? I hope you come down with ebola! YOU SHOULD GET EBOLA!

Every last one of you! You know who you are. You and your moronic rotton numb-nut peons, pockmarked dog-faced dingleberry-slurping mouthbreathers, priestfucking doo-doo-head second-hand sliced-cock-sandwich mongers, churlish hemorrhoidic maggoty underfunded dog turds, liver-spotted dimwit infected lumpy bags of vomit, lameass chowder-brained monolsyllabic dipshit WASTES OF CARBON FRIENDS! Them and their worthless sheep-biting miscreant PASTY SCUTS! Your mothers screamed when they saw what you did! Screamed! YOU MADE YOUR MOTHERS SCREAM!

AaaaAAAaaRRrrrnnGGAAAHHH!!! ARG! ARG! GRRRRRRRRRRR! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!

…

Wow, the Pit really is useful. I feel better already. I can’t even remember what I was angry about, now. Talk about theraputic!

whistles merrily

Oh, that’s right. To whomever came up with the “sleep” button on my keyboard. I can’t disable it, and I’m always brushing against it with my hand and the computer shuts down so fast I lose my changes and I can’t disable the stupid button. But it seems kind of petty now, so…never mind. :o

2

You can disable ACPI in your CMOS to disable the Power and Sleep buttons, but if you have Windows XP:

3

Wow, I’ll have to bookmark this post.

Y’see, I’ve always had a thing against threads in any forum where you have no idea what it’s about, either from the topic line or the mouseover text. I didn’t think there existed any pure examples. Looks like I was wrong!

:smiley:

4

I know this is the pit and that was an excellent rant/ letting off of steam.
If you provide some Operating system information, I or one of the many other Computer Gurus* might be able to help you disable the button. It is fairly easy to do in XP, though not where most people would look for it.
Go to the Control Panel, double click Power Options.
Go to the Advance tab and at the bottom where it asks “When I press the Sleep button on my computer” choose **Do nothing ** from the pull down list or ask me what to do and hit OK.
Test by hitting the sleep button when you have saved your current work.

Jim

  • Computer Geeks
5

That was approximately 8.05038421 minutes too late What Exit?.

The Computer Geek has spoken :stuck_out_tongue: :wink:

6

:smack: Sorry, your perfect post was not there as I was testing my solution and then the dope froze of course and when it unfroze I failed to preview.

Excellent post GIGObuster. I think that would be the perfect solution for an XP machine. :wink:

Jim

7

Thanks for the advice, guys, but sadly, I’m running Windows 2000. I haven’t seen a compelling need to upgrade to XP (and I’ve seen several compelling reasons not to - I do tech support for a living.)

I like the rest of the ACPI features too much to disable it completely in CMOS, so I ended up cutting the leads to that button on the keyboard.

But come on - if I shut down Windows normally, it takes a full minute, and programs ask me if I want to save changes. The “sleep” key drops the computer in 5 seconds flat. Whose bright idea was it to put the “shut down RIGHT FREAKING NOW” button on the keyboard? :smack:

8

I’m here to help, Leaper!

9

Step1: Take out letter opener, insert under sleep key.
Step2: Pop out sleep key.
Step3: Stick key in desk drawer.

Sure you can go messing around with drivers and reg keys. I got tired of the windows key minimizing my full-screen games, thus killing me in multiplayer. Pop that key out so quick. Good luck.

10

The previous link shows also virtually the same steps for windows 2000, it could be that you needed the latest drivers from the computer manufacturer (both for the power management and a BIOS update)

Of course, cutting the connections works too. :slight_smile:

11

I am so grateful for this thread. GIGObuster’s advice duly noted and actioned. Cheers!

12

I have recently been scolded for getting upset and bugging others to find out all sorts of computer questions. Remember, Google knows everything. And what Google doesn’t know, Google Groups does. And what they don’t, someone on a smartypants message board does.

13

Haha, my gaming PC is missing the windows key for the exact same reason (I also removed the capslock key for similar reasons)

14

That key pissed me off incredibly too - it’s on my co-workers machine, and you’re right; it’ll go down faster than a plate of brownies at a Marijuana Party convention. Hell, if you press the actual freak’n power button, you still have to hold it down for 5 seconds before anything happens.

While you’re on the subject of extended keys, can I also add similar feelings to whoever decided that 104 keys weren’t enough, and added a “Function Lock” button? I think the derision they deserve is only slightly less.

And the ‘sleep’ key isn’t a ‘real’ key on my co-worker’s keyboard, or yeah, I’d rip it out.

15

I love the Function Lock button on my laptop. I use it all the time. Seriously.

I used to hate, hate, hate extra keyboard buttons with a passion, but programmable buttons really grew on me. I love being able to close a tab with one keypress, close a window with another, open email with another, open Google Translate with another, etc.

16

I don’t have the cites right now, but after about a day’s worth of Googling and hitting up all my tech contacts, the consensus is that there is no OS-based support in Windows 2000 for this. Which means that even with a BIOS update, the OS wouldn’t know what to do. The only way to get this to work in win2k is to buy a keyboard that has drivers written SPECIFICALLY for this feature in win2k.

17

That can be changed. For some reason, my current computer came shipped with that function turned off. I have one of those towers with a door on the front which covers the DVD-RAM and floppy drives. So one day a friend and I were watching DVDs, it comes time to switch discs, she looks for a button to open the door, finds one, pushes, and off goes my computer.

I still find the incident amusing.

18

“…underfunded dog turds.”?

19

And so what exactly was the OP about? The sleep key, or coworkers?

20

As the link says there, is no “consumer level” proper way to disable it, only to change what it does; however, if you have the programing knowledge and acess to the MS Windows 2000 DDK, there is a way to code a solution in W2000: