Abbottabad Poem

A rather appropriate poem on this occasion.


“Tho’ I’ve belted you and flayed you, By the livin’ Gawd that made you, You’re a better man than I am, Gunga Din!”

Sorry, Major James Abott:

Clearly a poem written by someone who doesn’t write a lot of poems.

Or anyway, shouldn’t…

Dear God, that’s almost MacGonagall bad.

You do know that it was written by the guy that founded the city, right?

Well, Shakespeare, New Mexico is a ghost town in the middle of nowhere. So what does that tell you?

Ummmmm… what?

I’m going to go with “not much”.

By the way, I’m not defending the poem’s artistic value. I just think it’s historic value is somewhat interesting.

Cecil Rhodes was the original Rhodes scholar, and he founded . . . um . . . i think it was Cecilvania?

No, he founded Rhodehouse with Sir Patrick Swayze.

He should have stuck to Empire-building :wink:

Well, at least it’s not as bad as this partial poem from an early Illinois newspaper. The third line is an approximation from memory, but the other three lines quote directly:

Oh, do you remember the Black Hawk War
When nature’s own was struggled for?
Terror was spread the whole country through,
Raised by oppression’s buggaboo…
“Oppression’s Buggaboo” is a great band name, by the way. I almost wet my pants when I first heard it. My co-workers whom I insisted on reading it to were less amused.

I’m sorry. I’ve hijacked this thread. Maybe we need a whole new thread for bad poetry.

“‘Abbottobad’ sounds like the name most New Yorkers would have invented for the fictional place where they would love to kill bin Laden.”

– John Stewart

TERRORIST: “Khu is our cell leader, Khwatt is our bomb-maker, Aidunneh-noh is our pilot . . .”

INTERROGATOR: “Goddammit, answer the question! Who is your cell leader?!”


[waterboarding ensues]

I read yesterday that Maj. Abbott wrote a poem about the city named for him. I was misinformed.

EDIT: And the thread title should read “Abbott, a bad poem.”

[Costello] Heyyy Abbott… I’ve been a baaad boy.[/Costello]

It could have been much much worse.