It took Mary Lincoln years to get her pension started- Congress had never awarded one before to a President’s widow, and of course they knew that once they awarded her one they’d have to award one to other Presidential widows. They awarded her $3,000, even then not a LOT of money (very comfortable, perhaps $60,000 in today’s money, but you weren’t going to be spending summers in Newport on it). They later increased to $5,000 on the basis that nobody could annoy the living crap out of you until they got their way like Mary Lincoln could.
In fairness to Congress they were not completely heartless for First Ladies whose husbands died in office. With Mary Lincoln, as they had done before for the widows of William Henry Harrison and Zachary Taylor and as they did later for Mrs. Garfield, they awarded the widow’s their husband’s entire salary for the year they died. Mary Lincoln, in spite of her very loud and very frequent cries that she was living in poverty, was actually fairly well provided for by Lincoln (who had made a good living in Springfield then managed to save a good bit of his presidential salary) and used whatever the balance of the $25,000 she was awarded to buy a house in Chicago, which she then spent one night in and checked into a hotel for whatever reason before going off to prove how fantastically disastrous she could be as a money manager.
Her son Robert took complete legal control of her finances after Tad died (which is when she really went off the deep end), paying her just bills and giving her an allowance. She hated him for this, badmouthed him every chance she got, swore that he was stealing her money (he wasn’t) and that she was indigent (in an age when most farmers wouldn’t see $1,000 in a good year she sometimes kept thousands of dollars in cash under her skirts) and that she was in danger of homelessness (utter rubbish- she still had full use of the house in Springfield and lived with her sister who never would have evicted her [though I’m sure she fantasized about it daily] plus many hotels never even charged her in honor of her husband).
For Mesdames Harrison, Taylor, and Garfield, however, the full year salary they were awarded was what stood between them and near destitution. (Harrison and Taylor had the Southern Disease of ‘lots of property, not a penny in cash’, and Garfield left a mortgaged house and some small accounts and a good many debts; Mrs. Garfield received more from his army pension.)
A lot of First Ladies received outright charity over the years; Dolly Madison, due to a total oxygen thief of a son (an embezzler, drunk, total ne’er do well, and con man) would literally have been penniless and living in the gutter were it not for the charity of old friends. Andrew Carnegie actually provided pensions for the former First Ladies that exceeded the relatively small amount Congress alotted; he also subsidized the widows pensions of some Union officers and other men of some renown who died either insolvent or with estates that generated no cash.
Julia Gardiner Tyler was something of an issue to Congress when it came to pensions. While she herself was from a very rich and well connected New York family, she’d been essentially disinherited when she married her husband who, many years after his presidency, became/died a member of the Confederate Congress. Her husband’s considerable plantation was of course near worthless after the war and her only means of support was selling some of her jewels and living with relatives in New York and whatever money she could guilt them out of (which wasn’t much for her own use). Add to this that her youngest children weren’t grown and the older ones needed educating (though here the relatives were more helpful), so she desperately needed the money. On the other hand many in Congress argued that this would be tantamount to giving a Confederate Congressman’s widow’s pension. Again Carnegie came to the rescue, giving her enough that she could say “no thanks” to the U.S. government.
Mary and the White House Budget is a really interesting story that involves the Prince of Wales and lots of really shady (and sometimes just flat illegal) acts. Contrary to popular belief, Lincoln ultimately did not pay for most of her disastrously overbudget redecoration; when he initially agreed to do so he didn’t realize just how much she’d spent. (Why he ever trusted her with it to begin with is a mystery; in 1856 he’d given her permission to add a wing onto their modest homein Springfield while he was gone on his debate tour and with his legal practice for several weeks; when he came back he stood outside the house speechless because instead of adding a wing she’d more than doubled in size, this being perhaps the first time the word “Doh!” was ever used in Springfield.)