Get ready to read about my reproductive system!
I got a really intimidating letter yesterday stating that my Pap smear was abnormal (though no cancerous or precancerous cells were noted). The letter asked me to schedule a colposcopy, which I’ve been doing some reading about and can tell you, sounds like no fun at all. The procedure will mean that the doctor is going to go in there, scrape off chunks (slight exaggeration) of my cervix, and send them out for biopsy. This will be done under mild anesthesia and, they claim, will hurt no more than menstrual cramps. I don’t believe this at all, considering that they also claim that Pap smears are entirely painless, and those feel like small, intensely located cramps. Bastards.
I called this morning to schedule an appointment, and the girl I talked to went from cheerful to cautiously somber, said that there was no one available to handle the scheduling of such an appointment, and told me to leave a message. So I leave a nice message at frickin’ 9:00am, and they still haven’t called back. I’m sorry, but if you send a woman a 3-page letter telling her all about this procedure she has to go through to find out whether or not she has cancer, you BETTER CALL HER BACK when she tries to schedule the damn thing.
I’ve been looking on WebMD, and it says that about 10% of Pap smears will be abnormal, but only 0.1% of the women who have abnormal results actually have cancer. A number of benign conditions can cause such a so-called false-positive result. I’m hoping for that. What makes me nervous is that my grandmother died of cancer in her nether regions.
Has anyone else had an abnormal Pap smear? What benign things can cause one? What should I expect at the procedure? I’m probably far more freaked out than this warrants, but still… ugh. I need warm thoughts.