The subject is: that thing a lot of priests, and various others, are being accused of doing.
It is termed “child sexual abuse” or “pedophilia.” And I’m not at all sure what it is.
I’m a rather well-educated grownup with a Masters in Counseling --and I don’t know what it is. Because no one says exactly what these people were supposed to have done: not the newspapers, not the TV news, not anyone. Is it like sex in general when you’re 12: you’re just “supposed to know” without being told?
From what little info leaks out from behind the curtain, I gather the terms cover all sorts of things. Now–being delicate and respecting the SDMB–there are adult males practicing rear insertion on 4-year-olds; female babysitters fellating their 10-yr-old charges; priests fondling the private regions of teenage altar-boys; even pop celebs holding naked sleepovers with adoring pre-pubescent fans. I gather all these are verbotten. So are things like nude mutual washing, kissing the back of a kid’s neck, chucking your neice on the bottom in a kidding way, embracing a student in a classroom who has been upset and is in tears; etc.
My point is not to excuse or validate any of these activities, but rather to ask: in precisely what sense are they taken to be sexual or abusive? Some cases are obvious; some are not.
Are priests being turned into registered sex offenders because they kissed a 16-year-old 30 years ago? Was that regarded as improper or dangerous 30 years ago?
In what sense is kissing…or even nudity…a SEXUAL act? I always assumed a sexual act required penetration, or the “stimulative” touching of the genitals, or at least an obvious attempt to do the same. Yes, I know the law says otherwise; I’m not asking for a quote from the law books. I want to know how it has come to be that we no longer believe in such a thing as “innocent” physical contact between an adult and a minor. Does “Hugs Not Drugs” now mean, Hug Yourself?
What emotions, what reasoning, drives people to say that such acts are “worse than murder” and that killing even a suspected “perp” is morally justifiable? Bad touching is worse than MURDER? Or have I misunderstood–are they talking only about violent sexual assault?
And–since when are persons 13-17 deemed “children”?
I’m ready to be not only flamed but burnt at the stake…by those who do not bother to note that I am only asking for clarification and discussion, not advocating a “position.” And I ask those flamers: what EXACTLY enrages you?