Accepted Racism?

OK, let me relate a personal experience:

I recently met a fantastic Jewish woman. Lovely, intelligent, tall, the whole nine. Oh and single too. We were getting along famously, flirting like crazy. A mutual friend eventually came up to me later and said that the Jewish woman had told the mutual friend: “I’d kiss him, but he’s not Jewish.” (I’m your typical postmodern twentysomething skeptical urban Christmas and Easter Catholic)

I ask of you all in a non-rhetorical way: Isn’t that sort of racist? Or prejudicial? I know that it wasn’t said out of hatred for Gentiles, believe me, she’s a sweetie. But I feel that my religious upbringing has become a factor here.

I looked at a great site ( on Judaism to see the official position on inter-faith relationships (Yeah, she’s that great). The opinion around that site is that these relationships tend to dilute Judaism:

One viewpoint on the site (which the site admits is extreme) actuallly stated that interfaith relationships are “accomplishing what Hitler could not: the destruction of the Jewish people”!

The Catch-22, to me, is that someone who is strong enough in their faith that they would not abandon Judaism in an interfaith relationship may be the least likely to enter an interfaith relationship.

Now I don’t mean to single out the Jewish community. This “I only date my own people” occurs among Catholics, Mormons, Muslims, blacks, whites, Croatians, Italians, you name it. My above scenario, once again, did not involve hatred, but I feel that a decision was made about me based on the faith that I was brought up in.

What do you all think about this type of phenomenon? I’m not trying to criticize any race or religion, I’m just bummed. She’s the coolest. Waah.

Well, if you believe in a certain religion, and you marry someone who doesn’t, and then you have kids, the kids, even if they’re taught your religion, are not going to be able to truly avoid picking up “non-belief” messages from their other parent. The level of faith, or commitment to a specific religion is definitely reduced by every intermarriage.

Chaim Mattis Keller

“Sherlock Holmes once said that once you have eliminated the
impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be
the answer. I, however, do not like to eliminate the impossible.
The impossible often has a kind of integrity to it that the merely improbable lacks.”
– Douglas Adams’s Dirk Gently, Holistic Detective

It is my considered opinion this topic would be better served in the Great Debates forum.

For The Straight Dope

Since you question seems to come about due to religious beliefs, racism cannot apply. Even if it came from a viewpoint of race I still do not think it would apply.

The definition of racism from the American Heritage Dictionary: The notion that one’s own ethnic stock is superior.

The girl you mention does not seem to think she is superior to you based on her race. She is just following a tenant of her religion.

As CMKeller states, no matter how hard you try the child will pick up the differences and may choose one religion over the other.

Obviously, Judaism seeks to keep its backgroud, heritage, and faith strong.

Also, the problems of two people having differing core beliefs can cause a serious strain to the relationship.

For Example, lets say that that a couple is married and expecting their first child. One of the two believes in spanking as the main form of punishment and the other is completely opposed to it.

This can easily put a strain on the marriage. Differing religions can do the same.


I was considering putting this is Great Debates, but circumcision pros and cons are being debated here too. And I it’s not really a Point A vs. Point B type thing. But I’ll haul the thing over there. Just one point before I do.

Since you question seems to come about due to religious beliefs, racism cannot apply.[/quote}

So then antisemitism isn’t racism?

OK then : here’s a more General Questions type question:

I hate your race = “racism”
I hate your religion = ???

Nickrz said:

Your wish is my command. :wink:

Here is the new thread (called “Interfaith Dating”):

Well, now, there you go! How’s that for service with a smile?