I see there is a lot of talk concerning the Greek homosexual relationships, which is a good thing. It’s a topic of ancient Greek life that is open to a lot of speculation and ripe for discussion.
When it comes to the relationship between Patroklus and Achilles, though, i think there is one thing many people are forgetting: Patroklus was older than Achilles. Patroklus was not a little boy, or even a younger man, whom Achilles was looking after. ACHILLES was the EROMENOS; Patroklus was the ERASTES.
You should remember that none of this is mentioned in Homer’s text. i promise you - none of it is mentioned. You might ask then, how can we know who was older? Well we cannot for sure; i suppose the truth died with Homer. What we can know, though, is that the Greeks certainly perceived Patroclus as older.
Check out Plato’s symposium. The ideal erastes/eromenos relationship is Achilles and Patroklus’ because Achilles, the younger, eromenos, was willing to die for the older, erastes. According to Plato, that is very rare.
Patroklus was older.... Achilles was younger. Keep that in mind!
I was surprised to read this, as I had always remembered Achilles as the elder. But I see in the Iliad Book 11 ll.785-787 that Nestor quotes someone called Menoitios as saying to Patroclus:
"My child, by right of blood Achilleus is higher than you are,
But you are the elder. Yet in strength he is far the greater.
You must speak solid words to him, and give good counsel..."
(Lattimore translation)
That is, as the elder Patroclus is in a position to give advice to which Achilles might listen. Live and learn.