I rant about my job (mall security) sometimes on this board. It doesn’t pay well and the hours are terrible. But every once in awhile, I get to use the customer service talki that is the envy of every person who has ever worked retail. Namely, we are in no way required to be nice to people who don’t deserve it, and my boss will back us up on it as long as it was warranted.
So earlier tonight we kicked two 14-year old kids out for loitering and general horseplay. They get a warning to settle down. Second strike, they are gone. This happens about 10 times a night on weekends, no big deal.
About an hour later this very large woman who radiates a sense of entitlement the likes of which I have never seen storms up to our security office. Not being one to be troubled with the doorbell, she begins wacking the security office door with her purse.
I open the door to see what the commotion is and am instantly hit with the age old question “You dat un kick my kids out?”. I affirm that I am indeed “That un”. She then launches into a tirade about how her kids are angels and we have no right, NO RIGHT, to ask them to leave the mall. I inform her that they were given a warning to behave which they ignored, and then we escorted them out. I also point out that technically, we could have just asked them to leave for no reason because one of our rules state no unsupervised minors.
And then comes the kicker. The one sentence I love to hear in these situations. “You are being extremely rude! You are paid to help me!”
My reply: “Actually ma’am, I’m not paid to help you. I don’t even have to be nice to you. It actually makes my job incredibly easier if you never come back. I am asking you to leave. If you do not, I will consider it trespassing and have you physically removed.”
Her: “I demand to see your manager!!” I promptly call my director over, who has been listening in from the back office.
The immortal words of my director, without missing a beat: “Hi there. We don’t like you. Leave or we will have you arrested. Thank you.” He then closed the door in her face before she could get a word in edgewise. She stormed off on her own, vowing never to come here again. I hope that includes her kids.
I love my director’s attitude, and I love being able to drive away the ‘bad’ customers that always cause the ‘good’ customers to leave. I suck at story telling.
So where this guy works, there’s a walkie talkie dedicated specifically to the purpose of bringing the Security manager out to kick people out? And this is called a “Customer Service Talkie?”
Must be nice. Sometimes people complain that they were in the store I work at and we ‘ignored’ them. Yup. I love to ignore you. It’s my job to ignore you, and I take great joy in ignoring you… sheesh. We have an excellent staff and everyone works hard to give good customer service. Some days are busy. Get OVER yourself if someone doesn’t see you and doesn’t greet you.
No, better yet, call the corporate headquarters and complain about us. We just love when that happens.
A “talki”, for those not in the business, is what is casually referred to around here as a “typo”, that was not caught until after the “5 minute edit period” had “expired”.
update for what I’m currently doing at work: Reading Straight Dope and playing with this remote controlled car I found in one of the long-forgotten storage rooms. Ahhhh, midnight shifts. Doesn’t get more Mundane and Pointless than this.
How I wish that was the case at my job. It is certainly my philosophy. If I go some place that doesn’t do what it can to provide a pleasant experience, I won’t go back.
That means kicking out drunk/obnoxious/violent/offensive people.
I would love to be able to do that at work. I work in a specialized gluten and grainfree cafe/bakery (we sell breads etc) and people who wander in here are often confused as to why our selection is so small relative to other places and why we don’t stock sweetener. That’s fine, I explain our premise and give them all sorts of information which is relatively easy to understand.
You’d think, having just heard that we do not stock any products with grain or gluten, and that all of our products are made mainly with quinoa, tapioca and soy flour, a person would be bright enough to realize that we don’t stock ‘wholegrain loaves’. Now, I can understand automaton requests that people have for situations such as bakeries; “just a wholegrain, thanks”, but when I repeat ‘We don’t have any sort of wholegrain’, they repeat themselves at a slower pace, like I’m the slow one here. I offer them a popular loaf and explain its properties.
But is it a wholegrain?
No, it’s pumpkin and pepita.
Oh well, I want a wholegrain.
Well, store policy says no wholegrain for you. Go to Baker’s Delight, they’re around the corner.
No where in the OP did he say that he uses a “talkie” to call the manager out. And besides, on preview, he said “talkie” was a typo? So I don’t know what it is now. The suspense!
[Hijack] Freudian Push Up Bra, wouldn’t a “whole grain” non-wheat product be possible, though? I mean, sure, no whole grain wheat, but I think of whole grain as meaning, not “contains wheat,” but as “the germ was not removed from the grain; the entire thing - germ, endosperm, whatever - is included in the cooking/production process.” For example, sometimes I have cooked teff for breakfast: the entire teff grain boiled until soft. That’s not “whole grain”?
[/Hijack]
Whole grain isn’t an option, in a store whose products contain no grain (or gluten) at all. On a sidenote, that pumpkin and pepita roll sounds divine. mmmmm
Good story, Capt’n, the ‘talk’ notwithstanding. You don’t suck at storytelling at all. Frylock & ParentalAdvisory must be a little sleepy or something.
Ah, I see. Perhaps I could come to Freudian Push Up Bra’s store and bother her in person about this? I seem to have the aptitude for it. :smack:
… Hey wait a minute!!! (Brain slowly clicks into gear): When I first read the post, I did think about that, but then I said to myself: QUINOA is a grain, therefore they do have grain.
