ADD Dopers - what do you hate about ADD?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
61

Ok, I’m coming to the thread a little late… I’ve only read stuff here sporadically (imagine that), my wife sent me the link to this thread and insisted that I read it. I gotta say it’s like you’ve all been following me around…

I’m 40 something and was finally officially diagnosed as ADHD last December, after a therapist started bugging me about it in August. I fought her pretty hard at first and then had to admit that she had a point, but still fought her on going and getting the official word and the meds. Now I’m glad I did.

I have pretty much all of what seem to be the classic signs, but I’d say I rank somewhere on the lower end for the hyperactivity component. I’ve never been able to sit still, and I’ve always felt a little wound up, but I never really got in trouble for it. Just fidget, all the time. That’s part of the reason I was hesitant to get on ADD meds - most of them are stimulants and if I’m already wound up I was a little worried about what that would do to me.

Real deadlines are good for me, I used to do freelance design work and I’d tell my clients up front that they had to give me a hard deadline for when they needed a project or I could guarantee them that it’d never get finished. A hard deadline means I’d get it done, but it’d sill likely be an all-nighter the day before it was due… Finishing projects is also a problem for me, I got a ding on my performance review for my current job for always getting 90% done with a project but never quite finishing all the little details and closing it out. I’ve have a constantly revolving list of projects that I’m assigned to do at any given time and that list is daunting. None of them are overwhelming on their own, necessarily, but just looking at the list makes my brain run away and do other things. Meetings at work are my idea of hell. I’m also going back to school to try to finish my BS, third try for that one now, and sitting through lectures just sucks. I could go on and on, but most of my stories sound just like a lot of the stories already told here (I too had a teacher who built me a little barrier to separate me from the rest of the class, also had one that just sent me to the hallway to work, spent an entire school year out there).

One thing I do like about it, now that I’ve identified it, is the hyperfocus. I like to think of it as my super power. Certain things trigger it easily, like writing code at work or when I would get lost in a good design project when I was freelancing or reading a book that catches my interest. Reading is interesting because I’ve always been a big fan of reading, but I realize now that it’s only for books that can trigger my hyperfocus. When my therapist was figuring this out she told me that reading can be hard for people with ADD and asked how I felt about it. I said that it’s not a problem for me but then I realized that this isn’t entirely true. I’ve bought every textbook I’ve ever been assigned for a class (because books are good) but I’ve never read a single one of them. Not one. I’ve tried, but it just doesn’t work. I also love magazines, but I can’t sit and read and enjoy a magazine to save my life. Ooh look at this article! Ooh, and what about this one! But a good novel, especially mystery stories, now there’s something I can get going on. I have a friend who writes and a few years ago I picked up one of her books, the 700+ page opus ending of a trilogy, and I read it in one sitting. I didn’t eat, sleep or do anything else but read. We went from Michigan to Kentucky in the middle of that sitting to visit my sister-in-law, still didn’t stop reading (my wife wasn’t so thrilled about that).

I wasn’t necessarily skeptical about ADD being real before, but it never really occurred to me that I might have it. It’s still a little hard for me sometimes, I mean, this is normal for me, this is the way I’ve been my whole life - you mean not everyone goes through this? My wife kinda thought it was all BS at first, but my therapist gave me some stuff to read and between recognizing me in that and then talking to the psychiatrist with me, I think she’s pretty convinced. Now I’m in the process of really figuring out how to deal with it to make my life a little better without feeling like I’m losing anything. So far, so good I think - Adderall + OmniFocus = pretty much a new brain for me.

62

Oh yeah, the driving question, almost forgot about that. I didn’t have a problem with wanting to drive or getting my license. I grew up out in the farmlands and started driving well before it was actually legal to do it. Got my license the day I turned 16 and promptly put my car in the ditch that night. Never told my parents that one, either. For me it was about the independence of being able to go where I wanted when I wanted (mostly), but really it was about being able to go fast. The faster the better.

63

Just checking back in, had some initial problems with the new dose, I lost the prescription :eek:, which all obvious jokes aside I’m still quite worried about. Losing things is one thing I am generally good at avoiding, and it may have been left unattended in my bag during at in the cloakroom of a charity bookshop I work at.

But I got a new prescription and it’s actually working \0/, I’ve just had what were probably the three most productive consecutive days of my life. I was a little worried that the effect will start to dwindle after a week or so like the lower doses did, but it seems to be a much stronger effect than before.

The thought occurs that Attention Deficit is actually rather a terrible description, the problem is far more to do with attention control. And, temporarily at least, I can actually do that now, which is a novelty.

64

My therapist has said that it’s a bad name for it because it’s actually an attention surplus, that the ADD brain is trying to pay attention to way too many things. But as you say, the real issue is control…

65

I missed this post earlier, and only caught it now that Zyada’s linked to this thread. I’m straight, but I’m also left-handed. And a natural redhead. And a synesthete. I don’t think I need any more things in my life to make me unique :smiley:

66

I was hoping someone would rebut the claim that ADHD can’t develop during adulthood. But apparently this isn’t going to happen. So now I’ve lost some hope of figuring out what’s wrong with me. :frowning:

I have the fidgetying/ can’t sit still issues of ADHD (particularly at night) in addition to “loud” thoughts that can make concentration difficult. But these have not been life-long problems. The movement issues developed in my early 20s and the thought issues didn’t develop until a couple of years ago. Both are getting worse.

I was hoping they could just be chalked up to late-onset ADHD. My neice was just diagnosed with this, and I was thinking maybe that’s what I have too, except in an adult form. But if there is no such thing (just like there’s no such thing as adult-onset Tourette’s), then that leaves me with much worse horrible possibilities. :frowning: I know enough to believe I have something going on with my dopamine, which also affects ADHD. But do I have too much or too little? Is it D1 or D2 or both?

I’m going to another neuro in the middle of the month. He specializes in Parkinson’s Disease. I don’t want to leave his office with yet another referral and a “I don’t know what you have, but it’s something.” But on the other hand, I’m scared that he actually will know what I have. Either way, I’m going to be sad.

To keep in line with this thread, I’d say the pounding thoughts are the worse. Most times they are soothing, and I’ll lose myself in them while still being “present” in the moment. But other times they are so “loud” that can’t concentrate well and I just want to go hide in the corner.

67

Do you realize that a lot of people who are now middle-aged and getting checked for ADD for the first time grew up before notions such as “ADHD”, “dyslexia” or “childhood depression” had entered the vocabulary of doctors and teachers, much less those of the general public? Back when I was in late childhood, those would have been “unable to sit still”, “a bad reader” or “gloomy”, respectively; the notion that someone could be sitting quietly, looking toward the teacher, yet not hearing a word the teacher said, wouldn’t even have crosses any of my teachers’ minds - yet it describes my situation in most of my classes.

It’s hard to get a diagnosis for something which hasn’t been discovered/labeled yet.

68

I’m sorry monstro, that’s got to be worrying. I can’t refute the statement that ADHD can’t develop in adulthood - all of the criteria I’ve seen, and all of the people I’ve known first show symptoms in childhood. However, it is worth remembering that it wasn’t that long ago when the research community thought ADHD didn’t last into adulthood. I did meet one guy who was diagnosed as a child and treated with medication, then had it disappear in his teens - only to re-emerge when during a very high-stress period of his life. ADHD is usually described in terms of a normal school situation, so if you were in a non-standard school situation, it may not have been as obvious before you got into college or the work force. Another thing - have you recently stopped consuming caffeine or sugar? Those could have been alleviating the symptoms without your awareness.

I’m glad to see you’re seeing a neurologist soon. Hopefully he can get your problems straightened out.

69

I was diagnosed as an adult. The doc didn’t ask me about my childhood. I don’t remember having attention deficit symptoms as a child, they seemed to start in my early 20s. So you’re not alone monstro.

70

Like a few of the posters before me, every time I read one of these threads, I say to myself, “Self, this is scary. Maybe we should get this checked out.”

Of course, I have yet to do so. It’s never seemed to really impact me greatly, if indeed I have ADD. I was a straight A student, have a masters, and am doing fairly well at the current job.

This is ignoring the fact that anything w/out a hard deadline doesn’t get done, I space out on meetings constantly (phone conversations are the worst! We have people in Ireland and between the accent and my attention span…yea). I hyperfocus, especially if reading, and I have obsessive tendencies (plus anxiety!) so it’s hard to separate out if I really have ADD, or if it’s just part of any other issues.

71

I really hope so too! I really don’t know what I’m going to do if he says he doesn’t know what’s wrong. I used to think this was all in my head, but it’s getting to the point where I know I’m just not creative enough to come up with this stuff. Gratefully, most of the time I’m fine and just deal with it. But those few days out of the month when my brain feels like its throbbing through my eyeballs and I just want to scream…it’s bad. Like “kill me now” bad. And then the bizarre movements I have…well, that’s not good at all. But I’m trying not to think about that. I’m trying to live in the present and not worry about the “what ifs”.

Hyperactive folks–do you ever have experience akathesia? Google it if you don’t know what I’m talking about. It’s this inner restless feeling where you feel like you have to move. Like, I’ll wake up to find my toes writhing. When I’m sitting down in front of the computer at work, I’ll rock like a metronome and rub my arms (yes, like a crackhead). Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone and absently scratch at my back, and they’ll be like, “What the hell? You got a rash or something?” Sometimes I’ll get this tingling feeling in my hands and arms, like there’s a pump inside of them that’s being primed. I’ll be standing in front of the refrigerator to get something, and realize that I’m marching in place. Some people describe akathesia as pure torture, but it’s not that way for me. It just makes me look and feel strange. Is this something that ADHD people ever experience? I know some people with PD experience this, but I’m really wanting to be more ADHD than PD. Not that I have a choice or anything. But still.

72

I don’t think that I do. The need to do things is mental (inappropriate fight or flight response), not to alleviate unpleasant physical feelings like the descriptions of akathesia seem to suggest - it’s frustrating to be completely still, but it doesn’t feel bad bodily. Hyperactive adults are likely to figet things with their hands (waggle a pencil, a necklace pendant etc), jiggle their foot, and find just about any excuse imaginable to get up and take a walk. These behaviors drive some people nuts, but other people don’t usually find them unusual or alarming.

73

That’s it. When I look back on my childhood, I had all the classic signs of ADHD, the inattentive type. And it’s true that it really became obvious in late childhood (my report cards are filled with comments like, “needs to concentrate on tasks,” “doesn’t complete assignments,” “forgets to turn in homework,” etc etc. But back then, there was “hyperactivity,” which I didn’t have, and not a clear understanding about focus issues. They thought if they just nagged us enough we’d get our shit together, which of course never happened, it just got worse and worse.