tell me about adult ADD

In My Humble Opinion
1

Well, it seems that I most likely have ADD. I haven’t had an “official diagnosis,” but I’ve been prescribed ADD medication by my psychiatrist and my therapist agrees that it makes a hell of a lot of sense. The meds do help me focus, which some say is a clear indicator of ADD. (I think the theory is that since it’s a stimulant, it should make you even more hyper, but if it helps you concentrate then that shows that it functions differently in your body, and you have ADD.)

I’m 21, in my last semester of college. Until recently I was able to compensate by doing everything at the last minute, just well enough to get by. Depression and assorted life experiences have gotten in the way, and I ended up taking a leave of absence from school last semester.

So, anyone else out there with ADD? Have any of you been diagnosed as an adult? Do you think you had it all along, or did it develop after adolescence? Does it affect your productivity or personal life? Aside from medication, what strategies have you developed to work around it? (In case it’s not clear, I’m not looking for medical advice, just personal anecdotes)

2

You made it farther than my ex. He has had ADD all his life, and it began to be a big problem toward the end of high school. He is wicked smart, but just never applied himself because school was a joke to him. He got a GED instead. He got mixed up with the wrong crowd, got into drugs for a couple years, but pulled himself out once he realized what was happening. Lost a friend to drugs along the way.

Out of drugs, he poured himself into a new addiction: video games. It interested him, stimulated him, challenged him, everything he needed out of life. He got into and became very good at FPS games but eventually moved to MMORPGs. He’d play over sleeping or working. Even in non-ADD people, a gaming addiction can be bad, but with him, it was exactly like his drug habit.

The problem with him-- and the reason he’s my ex-- is he never really addressed his ADD. He let it wreck his life, and it was in the process of wrecking mine. From a stint in rehab, he knew that external, imposed structure was very effective for him, but I guess he assumed this structure had to come from someone else. Someone had to be his taskmaster. And because I didn’t know this, and because I couldn’t be there monitoring his daily activities, making him hang up the games to go study, making him watch his spending, etc., no one did it. He languished in his bad habits. Occasionally he’d recognize it was happening and attempted to break out of it, but he always slid back in.

He had seen a therapist a few times, and knew meds helped him, but he didn’t have money to continue any kind of treatment. This was made worse by his impulsive spending habits-- he basically treated real money like video game money, blowing it all on something, believing he could just work for a few weeks to rebuild his savings. Generally, he knew what was effective on him, he just didn’t know how and stopped trying to implement them in his life.

I encourage you to read up on ADD and ask questions and experiment with treatments and approaches to find things that work for you. Be as rigid as you have to be if you like the results you see from it. Carry a notepad and pen or PDA or whatever you need to keep track of stuff. If losing things is an issue, declare one spot in the house your Stuff spot, and ONLY put stuff there. If money management is an issue, don’t enable yourself. Implement an allowance system, and leave your debit and credit cards at home. ADD has a genetic component, so maybe someone in your family has tips or resources you can use.

You CAN help yourself. It’ll be hard, but you can do it. Best of luck to you.

3

It’s a nice theory, but it’s wrong. Almost everyone sees improvement in their focus if they take Adderall, which is why it’s such a popular drug on college campuses. I’m actually very surprised that you were able to get a prescription without an official diagnosis, and you shouldn’t count on that ever happening again.

That’s not the only reason that you need the official diagnosis, though. ADD is covered by the Americans with Disabilities Act, so being diagnosed gives you all kinds of legal protections in the workplace. Without those, your life will be harder.

ADD proper is purely a biological condition, and as such, anybody who has it is born with it. There are a number of other conditions–most notably depression and anxiety disorders–that can have similar effects on your ability to concentrate, but just treating the symptoms is not really a good idea in those cases. Again, you want to be sure.

With that out of the way, yes, I do have ADD (note: the DSM-IV refers to ADHD, not ADD, but it seems kinda strange to refer to ADHD without hyperactivity, so I prefer the term ADD). I was diagnosed in first or second grade, but back then no one knew that the treatment should be more than just medication, or that the medication did more than help me concentrate in school, so I stopped taking it shortly before I entered high school. Long story short, that was a mistake, and I’ve recently been officially diagnosed. I’m still waiting on a prescription, but I’ve been doing a lot of reading.

The short version of what I’ve learned is that ADD is a very badly named syndrome. The underlying issue is that I don’t have anywhere near the working memory capacity that a normal person does, and that impairs all of my executive functions. My case is actually pretty mild; I can actually function pretty well in situations like work or a classroom where there are clear rules and someone to direct me. In other situations, I don’t do as well, but I’m not so badly off that there’s obviously something wrong with me. At a party, I would have trouble deciding who to talk to or starting a conversation, but once I’m talking to somebody, I’m fine.

The biggest issue that I and pretty much everyone else with ADD has is that our sense of time is screwed up. This is a little bit tough to describe, so bear with me for a second. For a normal person, memories somehow feel older as the time between the event and the present moment increases, and things that are coming up feel more urgent as they get closer, but there’s a lot of gradation. For me, it’s not like that. Things are either close enough to be now, or in the infinitely distant past or future. This causes me to procrastinate terribly, especially on things that don’t have a deadline, but it also means that I don’t have the same connection to my past that a normal person would. I can imagine that losing that sense would be pretty unpleasant, but since I’ve never had it, I really don’t know what I’m missing out on. Is that lucky? I don’t know.

There’s a lot of good information out there if you’re interested in tracking it down. The books by Hallowel & Ratey are generally considered the landmark publications, and are pretty much required reading. There are any number of books on how to keep yourself organized (and not that many different ideas in them, but I digress). This thread over on SomethingAwful has a lot of discussion by people with ADD, and has the perspectives that you’re looking for. Finally, the best possible resource is a therapist who specializes in adult ADD, and it’s definitely worth your while to track one down.

4

my responses, in order:

  1. The psychiatrist who has prescribed it for me did so at a point where it was the only thing that could possibly help me pass my final exams (after not sleeping properly for days and having at least one panic attack). She has since renewed the prescription, but you are probably correct that no one else would prescribe it to me now without a diagnosis.

  2. It’s definitely true that my depression exacerbates my ADD-like symptoms. I am working on treating my depression (prozac and weekly therapy), and I didn’t mean to give the impression that I’m trying to treat symptoms of ADD while disregarding my underlying issues.

  3. While I can empathize with the lack of working memory, I don’t really feel like there’s anything wrong with my sense of time. I am a HUGE procrastinator, though. I wonder if they have to be related?

Anyway, I suppose my next step is to find a clinician who diagnoses ADD in adults. I’m supposed to see my therapist tomorrow so I can ask her if she knows anyone.

Thank you (and you too Geek Mecha) for the information, resources, and advice.

I am still interested in hearing more personal anecdotes/information/opinions if anyone has.

5

I don’t know if everyone who has ADD has a screwed up sense of time (mine’s not great, but not nearly as bad as you describe), but the earlier paragraph is probably closer to being universal. I do fine at work because I nearly always have a schedule, but when I’m on my own I end up being so unable to decide what to do some days that I accomplish nothing at all. I just get so frustrated by not being able to do all six things I want to at once that I take forever to get around to doing any of them. Then I feel bad about slacking off :frowning:

Has anyone had any luck making schedules for their days off & after work freetime? On one hand it seems like it might help, but on the other there’s the lack of any authority to enforce it and a lack of consequences if it’s not followed, so I don’t know if it would help after all.

6

I’m not. It’s common method for diagnosing the illness. Whether it’s a good one or not, I’ve heard many parents tell me their kid was diagnosed as having ADHD after having a paradoxical response to one of the stimulants given for ADHD.

But I do want to point out that depression symptoms can overlap with ADHD symptoms. And that stimulants such as Adderall are sometimes prescribed offlabel for depression, so don’t assume that their continuing to give it to you means you have ADHD.

7

Hiya, another one here.

I heartily concur with Geek Mecha. I’m like Geek’s ex: I know I need structure but have trouble implementing it. I call it babysitting. If I have someone sitting on me to get things done, then it happens. Otherwise, not.

ultrafilter’s post was awesome, too, especially the part about warped sense of time. The best way I’ve found to describe it is thus: I’m a fireman, and everything’s a fire. Whatever is in front of me is suddenly the most pressing thing I have to do.

As a kid, I used to have this fantasy about living in prison. Imagine! Someone tells you what to do, for how long to do it. You eat, sleep, exercise, then have free time to read. In my real, prison-free life, I often forget to eat, or fart around doing…I dunno, not sure now…so essential things don’t get done.

Have you heard of hyper-focus? That’s when you get totally involved in something, and are in the zone, as it were. I do simultaneous interpretation, which requires a lot of concentration; so much in fact that usually interpreters work in 15-minute installments, then trade off to recover. This creates the “holy-shit-FIRE!” environment, where nothing else matters and I have to concentrate. LOVE this part of my job.

OTOH, the parts of my job that require me to submit business trip expenses, or get to work on time, or organize my in-box, or find the location of the next meeting, or board an airplane on time, these parts are difficult. Also renewing my resident visa, driver’s license, apartment rental contract…you get the idea.

I live in Japan, where sadly adult ADD doesn’t exist yet. There is one med approved for children, and I score Ritalin from an understanding Australian doc, but that’s it. There is an ADD clinic which offers actual counseling. It was booked solid for 10 years into the future, but the doc started working longer days, and now there is one day per month where the hopeful can call, at 5pm precisely, and try to make an appt. I’ve never been able to get through.

So! I do what I have to. I got someone else to manage my work schedule, thank gawd. Now I’m talking to a life coach, and a woman who specializes in organization. I did manage to file my taxes after 5 years tho, so there’s hope.

As skeptical as attitudes are in the US, they are a bit moreso here, if only because it’s not so well known yet. I don’t make excuses; I tell folks what I need, apologize profusely when I inconvenience others, insist that folks give me deadlines, and stumble along. I also got a housekeeper: BEST INVESTMENT OF MY LIFE.

I’m not sure if ultrafilter shares this sentiment, and I’d love to know: perhaps because of the wonky time/memory thing, the endless fuckups are frustrating but soon forgotten, and each day (like in the Groundhog Day) I awake with renewed determination to make it work today. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn’t, but it’s not depressing. So none of that pesky self-loathing, thank goodness.

Oh dear, I’ve rambled on a bit. It’s 10:20am, so I should probably hop off and get ready for work.

ooh, elfkin477: I’ve tried and had ZERO luck. I just spent a 3 day weekend making big plans and doing nothing. There is only one antidote, in my experience: make a commitment to someone else. I have to be accountable to someone for it to work. No authority/lack of consequences is definitely the reason why.

8

I think it’s easy to forget each individual mistake, but their cumulative effect is definitely not good.

9

It’s funny you say that, because I’m the only one happy with a work situation like this at the moment. There’s one person training, and two of us assisting her/managing the 16 other people in the group. The other two are freaking out because we’re blowing through tasks in half an hour and have to train again. I like it. We have a status sheet that tells us what’s going to be trained, I know how many things I need to QC on each person I’m responsible for, and we get it done and go on to the next thing - what’s the problem? They think I’m insane because I’m not stressed out beyond being annoyed at their “OMG this is horrible!” attitudes (and the fact that I’m doing a good part of the other assistant’s job because she’s so frazzled).

10

I agree completely. If I look at the bigger picture–what my being this way has cost me–it’s downright depressing. I guess what I mean here is I don’t translate (pardon the pun) that into deep regret/feeling like a failure.

Yup, I can see where that would be comforting and enjoyable. You know what has to be checked off, and there is a lot of positive reinforcement (OMG attitudes notwithstanding) in the form of finishing tasks and moving right along.

11

What’s the best way to find a therapist? This thread is really opening my eyes - I can identify with every single post.

12

Can you get a list of psychiatrists from your insurance provider? If so, start calling them and ask if they can help you or know anyone who can.

13

I had a classmate who was definitely hyperactive, but no ADD at least in the form of being unable to discipline himself when he decided that the goal was worth it. When he came in first hour in the morning bouncing off the walls, some of the teachers would tell him to go run a couple times around the schoolyard and come back, that helped. He’s now the Phys Ed teacher in our high school.

I also had a coworker who had been diagnosed with ADHD as a child and had been on pills on and off. He had grown up with his mother staring at him while he did his homework and, as an adult, he would do any task he had set for himself fast and sweet - but tasks set by others needed someone staring at his nape. We’d set the whole group a task, he would not only be able to explain it but also to come up with additional reasons why it was important, someone would point out an alternate way to do it and he’d be able to reason why it wouldn’t work without making the attempt… but. He. Would. Not. Do it. Unless there was someone staring at the back of his neck and saying “dude, work first, butterfly later” any time he opened Google to try and find out which species did that butterfly outside his office’s window belong to (true example, that day it was my turn to stare at him).

The managers ended up deciding that he wasn’t worth two salaries: his own, and that of the coworkers who rotated staring at him.

14

I’ve had exes and coworkers who were definitely adult ADD, even though most of them had never been diagnosed. The hyperfocus aspect was the most prominent, especially when it came to work-related matters – one ex had to literally close himself off from the world in his office, and if there was the tiniest of distractions, he’d verbally blow up. Then he couldn’t get back on track of whatever it was he was doing. A coworker was given the opportunity for a promotion, but ultimately couldn’t master the additional requirements because, in her estimation, they were “boring” (most of it was paperwork).

A lot of my exes had lived with shame and guilt feelings, particularly with their families who either didn’t understand or refused to understand their having an issue. One went as far as cutting ties with most of his family because he couldn’t stand constantly being compared to his more successful and non-ADD brothers. Another was ashamed because he excelled in a low-level stockwork position at a big box retailer. I had a coworker who turned to illicit drugs and eventually went to rehab. Another one spiraled into the deepest of depressions.

I coped as best I could and helped as best I could. In the end, though, I was the one who initiated the breakups – you can love somebody with adult ADD, but it takes WORK on THEIR part, not just yours, meaning some sort of counseling and drug therapy. It’s hard. Very, very hard.

15

I can give you a name, but she’s up at 103rd and Meridian.

FWIW, my therapist suggested a book called “Driven to Distraction” by Edward Hollowell. He’s a psychiatrist who suffers from ADHD himself. When I read that book, I almost cried! It was an explanation for everything I had always felt was ‘wrong’ with me. I’ve been dealing with chronic depression and anxiety for most of my life, and a lot of it is rooted in the problems of ADHD, non hyperactive, inattentive type.

As soon as I can wean my youngest, I will be getting on meds.

16

I’ve come to the realization over the years that I am most certainly suffering from ADD. Looking back through my school days and work experiences, it’s obvious that most problems that I had were caused by undiagnosed ADD. I have a physical on Weds and I’ve been planning to talk to my doctor about the issue and getting a reccomendation on a psyciatrist.

Question for those of you that were diagnosed a little later in life (I’m in my mid-30’s), did you notice a big improvement from the medication? I’m worried that I’ve waited too long to address the issue and that the meds won’t do much to change me.

17

The analogy I’ve seen and like is that taking the medication is like putting on glasses: it removes the biggest obstacle in your way of what you want to do, but that’s all. The onus is still on you to learn new behaviors and ways of thinking. That may be easier when you’re younger, but it’s never impossible.

18

[hijack]
Funny story about the way the US military’s logic works:
I’ve got ADD that was diagnosed about 5 years ago (when I was 24). I had already been working as an Explosive Ordnance Disposal technician at my first base for 2+ years, which included work on nuclear weapons. I never worked on an actual nuke, mind you, but had worked on all the trainers, and in the eyes of the Air Force I was fully qualified to save the world should a Broken Arrow or NUCFLASH or something similar occur.
Well, my ADD had started to adversely impact my work and my relationship with my wife, so I went to the Mental Health clinic on base to see if I could get screened for it. They always told us that a visit to Mental Health wouldn’t necessarily affect our PRP (Personnel Reliability Program; “designed to permit only the most trustworthy individuals to have access to nuclear weapons”) status, but the same day I got temporarily decertified.
That part is understandable, but as I went through the screening process and eventually was diagnosed as having ADD, I started on the Strattera. Once the therapist and I got the dosage right, I started taking it daily, and at that point I should have been *better *equipped to work on nukes, not less, but I was permanently decertified from PRP and had to change stations to the one I’m at now. I can no longer work on nukes because of the drug that helps me concentrate better!
[/hijack]