And the original guiltiest guilty pleasure in reality television is back for, if you can believe it, its thirteenth season. This season promises the same old crap as before, except this time the kids live in a chateau and will be writing a series of guidebooks for their job. Seriously, I wish we could go back to the early Real Worlds where they didn’t work together at some cushy spoon-fed job. But I know, I know, we wouldn’t have half the drama if they didn’t spend every bloody waking moment together.
The chateau is gorgeous, and decorated in much the same way as past Real World residences save for a preponderance of French tchotchkes and for some reason a counter of hats. Or, excuse me, chapeaux. There’s a hot tub in the backyard to facilitate sexual tension among the cast and, I imagine, mightily piss off the neighbors as the kids romp drunkenly in its liquid warmth.
The kids themselves are the usual, typical cast. No one stands out so far to me except Adam. Adam’s father was one of the Commodores, and while he claims to be a clever kid–straight A’s at Stanford–he seems to have a hair-trigger temper and in the course of a single episode has managed to develop a creepy crush on not-so-innocent Mallory, reject her for not liking him the same, and tear into Leah for having a crush on housemate Ace. From the season trailers, Adam looks like trouble, as he’s shown yelling about something or other and shoving some guy.
Mallory’s I think the youngest at 19, and is apparently not as sweet as she looks. I like the fact her mother said “party hearty” on the phone; that was sort of cute. I also like that she wants to “see everything” in Paris, but so far, she’s a little boring.
Leah’s got that ultra-attractive air of desperation about her. IIRC she was featured on the preview special as repeating over and over, “I’m single. No, wait, did you get that? I’m single.” She’s got a hopeless crush on Ace, which I can’t fathom at all.
Ace annoys me, for no immediately discernible reason. Perhaps it was his immediate reaction on seeing Leah on the bridge: “It’s so great to see an American!” or the the fact he brought a whole bunch of hats in his luggage (including a sombrero and a plastic Viking helmet), to keep the mood light and entertain his housemates, he says. Or maybe it was his total inability to stand up for Leah and himself when Adam went ballistic on her.
C.T. lost some major points staggering around the airport shouting, “Does anyone know where the Paris trains are?” I wouldn’t have helped him either. I like his Boston accent, though.
Simon is sweet, Irish, and gay. He’s the only European in the cast, which astounds me. Would it have killed Bunim-Murray Productions to find just one more person who’s not an American to be on the show? It’s worked out fine on Road Rules. He may be the absent roommate, unfortunately.
Christina’s the wild card, and she knows it. Her boobs are mighty and her hair is tousled. It’s JBF hair, complete with the fuck-snarl in the back. I can’t say why, but I like her. I believe she’ll be the catalyst for many a household spat in the months to come.
We can expect several things from this season. Sexual tension among housemates. Strident assertions of male heterosexuality when confronted with the presence of a gay male housemate. Slacking off on their cushy job (which appears to involve traveling to Switzerland, Venice, and Rome. Where do I sign up?) and getting reprimanded by a boss who you know goes home at night and sobs into his pillow because he has to work with kids who’ve never heard of a work ethic. Drinking, smoking, and dancing on bars. Drinking, smoking, and making out in the hot tub. Tears, screaming, the throwing of cue sticks and pool balls (I understand the strategic placement of the pool table to give them something to do when they’re not out doing the things listed above, but geez.). Aghast Parisians in the background of outdoor shots.
I can’t wait.
