Add me to the Pelicula club. I didn’t know that until…I read it here.
And I too, thought the Redskins were from Washington State until about oh, 5 years ago.
It’s not an urban legend that rivers that flow north are rare. Because of the way the drainage system of most of the US is set up (between the mountains), almost everything tends to flow to the south. And on the coasts, most everything tends to flow either west or east. In the US, there are not a lot of rivers that flow north. I lived for four years near one of them, and it flowed up from Mexico. Water quality issues on that one, yo.
You can???
Starboard is right, port is left. “Port” has the same number of letters as “Left”. That’s how I remember it.
up until the age of sixteen I truly believed that everything in the world pre-1950 or so was black and white. Not just movies. Everything.
Also, I thought honey was melted cheese, and the two were interchangable.
oh god.
I don’t think I like you. Who knows, you might grow on me, but right now I’m not sure. I’m a little sensitive about this particular issue. Long story.
For those of you who were mystified by human genetalia:
Didn’t your parents give you “the talk?” Didn’t you have to take Sex-Ed in school? Heck, I was pretty clear on all this stuff when I was ten years old. Of course, my parents were/are insanely reactionary, and made sure I knew about human sexuality before I hit puberty. They didn’t want me to make any mistakes, and taught me the potential consequences before I could.
I guess I should contribute one of my own, even if it’s kind of lame.
I was curious about how neon signs worked, so I did a little research. After I figured out the whole “excitation and light emmission” thing, I thought, “I don’t get it, I’ve seen red ones and blue ones and green ones…”
I was a dumb kid.
Hmph. Hit submit, and thought of something else.
If I ever write a book, I’m going to call it Things I Thought I Knew, And Erroneous Assumptions I Made, About Various Species Of Livestock, And How I Got Hurt.
That’s going to be one thick book. The chapter on cows will probably be about two hundred pages all by itself.
I may have to shorten up the title a tad.
Well, it’s not like turkey’s are subject of special interest to me (so, what am I doing here? ;)), therefore my info may be out of date. But, I know that at one time, within the last 30, or so, years, domestic turkeys were also able to fly A) when they were young and hadn’t yet gained too much weight, B) when their flight feathers hadn’t been clipped, C) they were given room to exercise their flight muscles, and D) for short distances (But, long enough to make B necessary). I know they’ve been working on breeding flight ability out of them, but whether they’ve succeeded, or not, I don’t know. It’s probably a moot point in most turkey breeding operations, though, as the turkeys probably never see daylight or have enough room to jump, let alone fly.
domesticated turkeys are also the stupidest birds in the world (please forgive the hijack). my parents took a loss when they decided to raise them. turkeys will, if left out in the rain, drown themselves by staring up into the sky to find out what is dropping on their heads…WITH OPEN MOUTHS!!! Honest to deity of your choice. It would start raining, and my mom would shout “osh** the turkeys!! Get them inside, quick!” and my brother and I would have to herd them all into the chicken coup.
whoa.
I’m pretty sure this is not precisely true. They’re not really dumb enough to drown themselves. They are, however, too dumb to come in out of the rain on their own. That’s just personal experience.
Chickens are pretty stupid too. I saw one almost get run over by the front wheel of a slow-moving truck, and and I swear it tried to dive under the back wheels.
Want to move up to mammals? Dumbest=sheep.
Either did I. In my case it was because you risked getting beaten or mugged if you did. One of the many joys of growing up in Los Angeles.
Haj
This isn’t my story exactly, but this is SOOOO something I would do, that I spit water all over myself reading it. “But if I ask now, they’ll know I never knew…”
OK, I’ve got one.
Razors, with the disposable-replaceable blade cartridges? Razors that come in a little snap-in holder thingie, a “razor caddie” sort of thing?
So I had bought my umpteenth replacement pack of 5 or 10 razor cartridges and was packing for a trip, and decided to take the razor in the razor caddie, and was looking for the most space-economical way of also packing the little plastic case containing 5 replacement cartridges. And I flipped the razor caddie over on its back and there was this little hollow region and guess what, I got the plastic razor-cartridge case to fit right down there inside that little hollow region, am I efficient at packing or what?!
Wow, it even fits so snugly it just stays right there, I don’t even have to tape it or rubber-band it to hold it in, it’s almost as if it were
uh…meant to hold them?
:o
'Kay.
I’m right there with AHunter3.
And I’m also so dumb that I’ll need to change a blade and just stand there, completely flumoxed, figuring out what I should do with the spent blade.
“Hrmm. There’s an open slot here. Those look used, maybe I should use one of those other ones. I’ll just stick this in here and hope for the best with this other one.”
I’m amazed that I haven’t carved my face off yet.
When I was younger and tried to tie my shoelaces, they would always wind up being aligned diagonally or with the length of my foot. I remember when I was a kid that my mother got frustrated and couldn’t figure out what was going wrong when she was trying to teach me how to do it,
I didn’t figure out what I was doing wrong until I was in my 20s.
ooh! I remembered another one! Until the age of 15, I honestly believed women sismply did not grow hair on their bodies.
When I had my child, while I was pushing, the nurse said,
“OK-now you’re having a BIG BOWEL MOVEMENT!!!”
I nervously apologized and went back to trying to push through
an epidural so strong that a VW Beetle could have been coming through and I wouldn’t have felt it.
After weeks of recalling and reliving every wondrous moment, I noticed that my husband still hadn’t brought up the incident.
I assumed that he didn’t want to embarrass me by mentioning it, but-hey-he’s seen our child come out of me, as well as watched in fascination as they stitched up my goods afterwards-I figure we have nothing to hide. Wanting to acknowledge what I thought was the elephant in the room, I asked him if that part grossed him out.
Got a blank stare.
After much explaining and "are you sure?"s on my part, I discover that what she actually said was,
“Now push like you’re having a big bowel movement!”
Ahhh-the difference one word makes!
There I’d spent weeks thinking I’d taken a dump in front of
a grand total of 7 strangers and one dearly beloved for
nothing!
D’OH!
I still can’t figure out why electricity doesn’t ooze out of sockets that don’t have a plug in them. People have explained the whole “completing the circuit” thing to me, and I believe them – I’m sure they’re right – but when I look at those two parallel empty slots, I’m just convinced they’re leaking.
Oh–after I found out that men ejaculated, I thought that they had one hole to pee out of, and one hole to ejaculate out of.
(I knew girls had two holes, because my mommy told me we had one to pee out of, and one for babies to come out of. So I’ve never been confused about that.)