I can’t tell which of the letters L, K and J comes first unless I say inside my head “g, h, i, j, k, l, …”
I had no clue until my later teenage years whether I was circumsized or uncircumsized. I understood the difference, but couldn’t picture it.
Until a few scant months ago I thought Michaelangelo’s “David” was only a life-sized statue. (FTR, it’s 23 feet tall on its pedestal.)
As a corrollary to what Lizard said, I had no idea some men wiped from the front.
Continuing on the toilet theme, I’ll dob in a few female friends who thought men unbuckled their belts and the top button of their pants to urinate. Another woman thought men used toilet paper after pissing.
I have only just come to an understanding of that old aphorism, “Might as well hang for a sheep as a lamb”.
For all these years I had a picture in my mind of a mutton carcass vs a lamb carcass ‘hanging’, and could never figure out what relevence they had to the particular issue that was being demonstrated by the proverb.
It looks like an anteater.
As for me, I have absolutely no idea what a “4 alarm fire” is. Or 3 alarm or whatever. When I was younger I thought it was the number of fire alarms that were pulled at street fireboxes. I know that’s not the case but I’m still in the dark as to what it means.
I was never sure either. I settled on thinking that it means how many fire companies are called to the scene. So a “4 alarm” would have 4 different fire houses come to the blaze. Anyone know for sure?
For the longest time I pronounced Antennae as eye-ten-eye. No idea why, but I did it.
I’m still unclear on the whole woman peeing thing, but when I was younger and saw diagrams I always figured that the thing at the top was what they peed out of. I later realized that thing on the top of the diargram was the ovaries.
I had no idea what an uncircumsized penis looked like. From what I figured it was a little tip of skin at the end that they just snipped off, but then later following a link from the SDMB I discovered it was a hood. Freaked me out completely.
That’s very close. The chief on the scene will decide, based on how the battle is going, whether to issue another alarm. He can issue multiple alarms at once, if he thinks it necessary. When the additional alarms are “sounded” (it’s actually done by radio), calls go out to fire companies in the next “zone”. So, in a large city, that generally means companies from across town, at first, followed by companies from surrounding communities. But, there isn’t always a one-to-one relationship between the number of companies and the number of alarms. It depends on how the zones are set up.
I just learned that Benetton, the sports clothing manufacturer (think United Colors of Benetton), owns the Nordica ski company, Prince tennis equipment, and Rollerblades. I found this out when my brand new Rollerblades broke the first time I took them out for a skate.
I also learned that Road Rash is a far more serious injury than I’d thought. I’d always dismissed it as being similar to the scraped knees I’d get as a kid. Wrong! It’s much, much worse.
When I was about 25 I found out that the expression “street smart” doesn’t originate from being able to find your way around the neighbourhood without getting lost. I always thought I lacked street smarts because I’m so bad with directions. I figured when people used the term ‘street smart’ to mean savvy with people’s motivations, etc. it was a metaphor about being able to “find one’s way around” with shady characters “without a map” and I never tied any of it to the expression “the streets” even though I was familiar with that expression too. Mmmm… convlolutions. To this day when I hear someone say “he’s not exactly street smart” I get a mental picture of the person as a 12 year old on a bike looking up and saying “where the hell am I?”
Here’s something worse…A couple of months ago, I decided that the Inn in a story I was writing needed a cloyingly sweet name. So I came up with " Winkin’ Blinkin’ and Nodd Inn." That works, right? For nearly two weeks I couldn’t figure out why people reading the story kept commenting on how funny and/or clever that was. It finally dawned on me that read aloud most people would read it as “winking, blinking and nodding.” It never occured to me that Nodd+Inn= Nodding. And this with me understanding what the kids in the poem represent! oh well.
I’ll also throw in the the two holes confusion part. I know there are two holes, since I’ve been told that since childhood, but I’m not sure what people mean. I know all the parts, but I can’t quite grasp what is meant by the “holes” The openings of the urethra and urterus, or something else? I mean, if it’s the former, why would anyone call that a hole? Reminds me more of tubes of varying wideness…
Whoa-I just learned about Tit-leist/Title-ist from this thread! Guess I shouldn’t count on Beavis and Butthead to teach me how to pronounce words. However, I still mispronounce things all the time-I learn most of my vocabulary from reading, rather than hearing things.
I too confuse right and left. Especially because when I picture “right wing,”, I think of the west, in America, and “left wing” as in Europe. (Probably because it seems to be how the politics work out!)
I was 14 when I learned a man couldn’t have sexual intercourse unless he had an erection. When people referred to impotence, I thought it just meant he just couldn’t do it, because when he went to, he just…said, “no, let’s not.”
I was 17 before I learned that you had to thrust in and out during sex. I thought you just stayed in place the whole time.
I didn’t know pickles were cucumbers until I was 16.
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I had access to vast amounts of porn magazines at the time (13 years old) and read lots of Penthouse Letters, but it took over a year for the words “she stroked my throbbing member up and down” to sink in. When I did figure it out, I thought I was going to pee in my own face. So I held back until it dawned on me that I was about to ejaculate. I let go and hit myself in the nose.
Until about two years ago, I thought the Elvis song was called ‘A Moncha Cup’ (All Shook Up). I just assumed it was some exotic language that I didnt understand.
Add me to the list of those that didn’t know where they peed from.
I was 16 or 17, and my doctor gave me a bottle for a urine sample. I promptly went to the bathroom, squatted with the bottle firmly in position, and peed all over my hand.
Thank goodness I was at the doctor’s…because I was quite obviously, “broken”.
Later that day, I went home, had a shower, and decided to find exactly where this mysterious orifice was.
When I was a little kid I thought my folks were personal friends of Ozzie and Harriet Nelson because of the way they talked about them, but mainly because they named my kid brother Ricky after Ricky Nelson.
It wasn’t until I was a teenager that it dawned on me that there was no way my folks could know Ozzie and Harriet, much less David or Ricky.
Another one here who can’t tell my right from my left. I wear my class ring on my right hand now, so ring = right. But if I ever get married I’ll be in trouble…
For the longest time I pronounced miniseries more like “mi-NI-seres” (like “miseries” with the “ni” syllable added) and didn’t understand exactly what the word referred to.
OK, upon reading the thread, I see a couple things I learned:
The Washington Redskins. I assumed it was the state as well. Why? Because I don’t follow sports. I don’t really like them, so there was no reason to bother to learn.
And men can wipe from the front? How? Why? Wouldn’t you get penis all over you hand? Well, I mean, not all over, but doesn’t it get in the way?
As for other things I was unknowing of for a long time…hmm…
When I was little (don’t remember the age, before 10, though) my sense of the world was limited. I knew of a place where the roads were water and they went around in boats, but not the name. My mom mentioned one day that she had to go to a town called Waterbury. Well, it made sense to me at the time that Waterbury MUST be the city with water for roads, I mean, why else would they call it Waterbury?
Well, that’s as clear as mud. What is the relevance, or have I just been whooshed?