I’m sorry, you’ve lost me again…an example of what? Really really far-fetched and unreasonable reasons people need to know I’m adopted? Do you have any GOOD reasons?
So you’re just not going to tell me what those laws of logic are, are you?
And while we’re at it, lets revisit your “defies logic” quote so everyone can see that you were referring to all adopters, not just “psycho client” as you now falsely claim.
Your position would be better buttressed if you could stick to the truth.
Again, why would leave the haven of same thinkers that eastern Europe is, to come back to America? Did you not know that time had not stood still over here?
Actually, that’s not exactly true. Catholics tend to just dunk their heads in the water; S. Bptsts. go for full immersion.
What?
But it was the less utterly insane of the two examples you’ve come up with. You need to know who is adopted because some people have a religion that won’t allow them to eat/drink/swim with adopted children, and you need to know so you can hide your children if evil adopters encroach on your perimeter. Most people lead with their best examples - if those two are your best, you’ve got quite a case to make.
Sorry, I missed this when I made that last comment. I want you to think about what you are implying, here. What you are saying is that you think private details of peoples’ lives should be broadcast to the public on the off chance that someone might not want to come into contact with that person due to ritual uncleanliness, right?. How far do you want to take this? Every school child must register their state of legitimacy with the school board, so that they can arrange classes accordingly? Should everyone who walks into a public pool facility have to have his or her birth certificate with them, so that they can post a notice on the wall, letting all and sundry know that there’s someone in the pool who is ritually unclean? What if my religion has an entirely different criteria for people I don’t want to hang out with? I don’t believe in swimming in the same pool as people who are anti-adoption, so be sure you mention that to the folks who give you your locker key, so I know in advance that you have sullied the water in the pool! I always ask before I venture in.
Look, you can think anything you want about adoption, but if ritual uncleanliness is your only answer as to why anyone needs to know that a child is adopted, then no one here is going to take your argument seriously.
I don;t believe that second cousin marriage is anywhere nearly as common as acquiring relations by marriage, such as aunts and uncles and in-laws.
What was being discussed was the larger number of family relations that are not based on a genetic bond. Like aunts and uncles by marriage, in-laws, and adoption.
Would you care to respond to that?
In other words, why do you beat children until they agree to call aunts and uncles by marriage “aunt” or “uncle”?
Regards,
Shodan
ZPG, do you let the whole world know when you have your period? Do you think all women everywhere should? Because a woman on her period is also often considered unclean, perhaps even more so than adoptees.
I disagree (with the first part). Love at first sight is pretty rare, and even then, appears to change as the people involved do. Most of the time it appears as though love is something which develops over time, after you’ve taken the effort to get to know the person, spent time with them, which implies a choice to do so. Even with love at first sight, you’ve chosen to be in the location where it happens. You don’t choose who you fall in love with, but you and your choices have a considerable influence upon it. You have none of that with your family.
Your response also doesn’t cover friends.
I have not been following this thread super close, but I have heard an idea on these lines:“Adopted kids are bastards, and should be identified as adopted so that people who do not want to associate with bastards can stay away.”
Now, I myself was conceived out of wedlock. My biological parents married each other and raised me, but I would still be considered a bastard in many people’s minds. (Angela from The Office is an example.)
In order to prevent people from associating with me, should I also somehow be labeled as not fully legitimate?
I appreciate the manner in which you choose not to address the topic at hand by attacking the analogy rather than the hole you keep digging for yourself. But as a fortune teller, shouldn’t you have seen that coming?
I think if you going to socially interact with people you should expect them to want to know some basic details. Knowing that a child is adopted would explain for example a racial difference between the parents and child that otherwise could be embarassing (as in suggests adultery on the part of one of the spouses). As for the pool question, since everyone seems to make a big deal of that issue, if you are going to a private pool owned by a person or group, yes they are entitled to ask you whatever questions they want before letting you into the water. Public pools should not have exclusions, but no one is required to use a public pool either.
Hey Duckster, fortune telling doesn’t mean you know every detail of the future otherwise I would have one the lottery by now.
Really? I think that if you’re going to socially interact with people, you should expect them to have the social grace and common sense to be able to differentiate between their business and my own.
OK, but that’s for the protection of the adoptive family, not the outsider. If I’m not worried about whether or not you think I’m adulterous, why should I tell you?
Sure, if you are going to a private pool, then they do have that right. And I can assure you that if I was unwelcome due to my adoption, then I would be happy to beat it out of there. But you are right that no one is required to use a public pool, and if someone is offended by the thought of an adoption person using it, then I would suggest to them that they find a private place to swim, vs. violating my privacy.
ETA: The reason everyone is making a big deal out of that issue is because you haven’t given any other reason that you need to know whether or not a person is adopted. If you give me a better reason, I’d be happy to drop asking about this one.
Addressed as follows:
aunts and uncle by marriage = referred to as blood relations’s spouse (i.e., my uncle’s wife, my aunt’s husband).
in-laws = no the connections to one’s in-laws are rarely as strong as to one’s blood relatives. It is expected that your blood relations will be there for you unless you do something extremely heinous (what extremely heinous is varies from family to family). At lot less is expected of in-laws who really shouldn’t be expected to give a damn far you if you do something despicable to their relative (your spouse).
adoption = quite frankly I don’t acknowledge such legal ties to be family ties.
If I think you’ve cheated husband, I’m going to elevalute how likely your statements are truthful or how good you are at keeping contracts, etc., with that knowledge in mind.
Why should one have to explain details such as mixed race? When you meet someone and from casual visual observation appear they are a single race ask them about their heritage? I mean, would a Heinz 57 answer bother you when one of those ingredients in their background isn’t so bloody obvious so you can easily categorize them? And what’s this continuing deal with the pool? Yeah, a private pool owner has all the right to ask such dumb questions just as those visiting have the right and realize that level of snobbery or outright discrimination needs no response, let alone a remaining friendship.
This has nothing to do with the ‘why say mom and dad’ question, once again.
Adoptive parents might want to clarify the relationship - and they probably do by telling their loved ones they are adopting, - but they don’t have to carry their papers in public and they don’t have to give a damn about any assumptions you might make. If I saw someone say “we adopted!” at every opportunity I would think they were trying to impress everyone with their moral superiority.
In other words, you want the information because you want to be nosy and judgmental.
So in a nutshell, you do not believe in the entire concept of adoption. Is that correct?