Adorable misconceptions I had as a kid.

[Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus]

@Dogzilla

@Tahssa

I thought this too and now that I’m all growed up, (30), I still sort of view them as such. Even if I know their real sex dogs still feel like boys and cats still feel like girls.

I have one female dog and one male cat. Just about everyone who meets them refers to the dog as “he” and the cat as “she.” To be fair, you can’t really see the cat’s furry little junk, but I still think it’s funny that grown adults do the same thing. My Gramma always referred to all dogs as “boys” and I did the same thing when I had the male dog and the male cat; the female dog just got lumped in as one of the boys, but I’ve always been keenly aware of her gender.

I always wondered about this one myself. It is true that cats are perceived as feminine by many in their physical attributes and behavior, and because people imagine that many more women than men have cats, which isn’t really true. But the cognates for “cat” in other Germanic languages, like the German word Katze are feminine in gender; and if a male cat is specifically meant, a slightly different word is used, like “tomcat” in English. So I wonder if the “cat=she” meme is a holdover from the grammatical gender that English once shared with its sister languages?

All kinds of people do this, too. While I was growing up, I remember my highly articulate and college educated mother reprimanding our neutered male cat as “young lady” when he misbehaved.

[Tim_T-Bonham.net]

@Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus

I always wondered about this one myself. It is true that cats are perceived as feminine by many in their physical attributes and behavior, and because people imagine that many more women than men have cats, which isn’t really true.

Possibly it’s related to behavior:

1. Cats do what they want.
2. They rarely listen to you.
3. They hiss at you when you don’t do something right.
4. They’re totally unpredictable.
5. When you want to play, they want to be alone.
6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7. They expect you to cater to their every whim.
8. They’re moody.
9. They leave hair everywhere.
   CONCLUSION: They’re tiny women in little fur coats.

1. Dogs spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
2. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don’t hear you when you’re in the same room.
3. They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
4. They growl when they are not happy.
5. When you want to play, they want to play.
6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7. They leave their toys everywhere.
8. They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.
9. They go right to your crotch as soon as they meet you.
   CONCLUSION: They’re tiny men in little fur coats.

[Leiko]

I’ve remembered another one: One of the easiest ways to figure out if people could be happy together forever romantically was to compare their noses in profile. If you could fit the line of their noses together with one right side up and one upside and it made a rectangle, they would be together forever.

I was about 5 when I believed this, fervently.

[BigT]

@Shagnasty

@BigT

Are you saying you were a “communist” as a kid? Adorable indeed.

I came up with communism on my own as a child and thought about it a lot during commercial breaks a lot between The Love Boat and Fantasy Island. It seemed like a no-brainer at the time. Then I turned seven and the whole thing sounded ridiculous. There were probably lots of thinking kids that came up with the same thing around the same age. Almost all of us grew out of it early but a few didn’t and that is when the problem started…

Actually, what I found adorable was that his current views are nearly the opposite.

[Bamboo_Boy]

I was totally amazed to hear about “gorilla warriors” or “armed gorillas” in South America or whatever. I thought it was really sad for the gorillas that they were trained to shoot each other, but I was even more amazed that gorillas were trainable in that way at all.

Sure, they would show people in fatigues shooting away while the voice over talked about the “armed gorillas”- but I just figured the gorillas fought aside humans, and they were hiding and being stealthy, being so much more acclimated to the jungle. I also figured those guys doing the shooting were probably also the gorilla trainers.

[Bosstone]

@Mindfield

When I was maybe 5 or 6 or so, friends and I were climbing a tree in the schoolyard. I was about halfway up when I looked down and saw drops of blood hitting branches below. I thought this was incredible and called enthusiastically to my friends below, “The tree is bleeding! Hey, guys, the tree is bleeding!” But the tree wasn’t. I was. A sharp branch or thorn or something must have jabbed me in the head. But for a brief moment, I actually believed trees could bleed.

I know this post is nearly a year old, but it’s relevant to my post.

Around the same age, I used to believe that rocks and stuff had blood in them. If you fell and hit your hand on a rock, you would break the rock open and get blood everywhere.

[Find_Friends]

@Bamboo_Boy

I was totally amazed to hear about “gorilla warriors” or “armed gorillas” in South America or whatever. I thought it was really sad for the gorillas that they were trained to shoot each other, but I was even more amazed that gorillas were trainable in that way at all.

Sure, they would show people in fatigues shooting away while the voice over talked about the “armed gorillas”- but I just figured the gorillas fought aside humans, and they were hiding and being stealthy, being so much more acclimated to the jungle. I also figured those guys doing the shooting were probably also the gorilla trainers.

Although I had already read Mad Magazines going back to 1960 and annuals with material even older, I first started buying and avidly reading them early in 1965.

One article was about how puzzling news headlines must be to some very young kids. They used your very example as one of theirs. Except that they were fighting on the “Plain of Jars” which was the collective surface of lined-up giant food jars.

Another example was having an official examine the Missile Gap. The official was baffled as he stard at an empty space in the midsection of the upright missle. He even waved his hand into the empty air area, no doubt wondering what kept the upper half suspended.

@Indyellen

When I was 4 or 5 (I think), my mom came downstairs into the family room and saw me standing next to the TV. She asked me what I was doing there, and I told her that the TV said to “Please Stand By”. So I did. (For those not old enough to remember, sometimes there would be a problem with a broadcast and they would put up a screen card reading “Please Stand By”, along with a voiceover asking for your patience.)

(I do vaguely remember doing this, I don’t think it was just a “Mom” story.)

I can clearly remember being old enough to understand what it meant, and then standing up next to the TV just to “be funny” even if there was no one else in the room. I could always just chuckle to myself at the joke. I did this at least a few times before geting tired of the joke.

It’s entirely possible that I found it funny because at a younger age, I had taken it literally. Can’t remember, though.

• Me.

[kaylasdad99]

I don’t know how adorable anybody is going to think these are, but:

When I was a tyke, the sight of the Sherwin-Williams logo on a building or billboard gave me the willies. I had enough of a sense of scale to reason that a coat of paint as depicted would be several hundred feet thick, and that nothing could possibly survive under it. I was also frustrated that I couldn’t make out enough detail on the “unpainted” portion to determine whether my location was safe.

Also: as of 1966, I had yet to attend a major league baseball game. When I heard, at the end of the regular season, the Sandy Koufax was not going to pitch the 1967 season, I was disappointed that I hadn’t had a chance to see him pitch in person, and I asked my parents why he wasn’t going to pitch the following year. “Because his arm is tired,” was the response my father gave. So, when the 1968 season came around, I expected him to be back in the lineup, reasoning that a year off should be enough rest for even the most tired arm.

Truth to tell, even today, I view him as a worse goldbricker every year.

[Shot_From_Guns]

Every sane person is creeped out by the Sherwin-Williams logo. I mean, c’mon, seriously, “COVER THE EARTH” with a globe coated in a dripping, viscous, blood-colored fluid? :dubious: