Weird Things You Believed As a Child

In My Humble Opinion
1

What odd things did you used to believe in as a child? For me it was:

*I used to believe people could live at Disney Land.

*You know those toy telephones in the 80s with the cartoon characters and you press a button and they “talked” to you? I used to think these were really real. I remember a house I went to with other kids, probably my mom’s friend with kids, and they had a Flintstone phone and a Disney phone. I was too embarassed to dial on the Flintstone phone. “What would I say to Barney? He’s a star!”

2

I used to believe that electricity travelled at the speed of light - it was a big shock the day I had to face that one.

3

You know how they play the National Anthem at baseball games?

Or the ramparts we watched,
Were so gallantly streaming…

I was in second grade before I figured out that the Ramparts weren]t a baseball team!

“When are the Cubs gonna play the Ramparts, grandpa??!?!?”
“When are the Cubs gonna play the Ramparts, grandpa??!?!?”
“When are the Cubs gonna play the Ramparts, grandpa??!?!?”

4

when i was very little i got totally the wrong end of the stick when it came to special effects.

I used to think that when they needed the Bad Guy to plunge 50 stories to his death in the final reel, or whatever, they got a real person to do it. After all, i knew that there were such things as suicidal people, and reasoned that in that they were going to off themselves anyway, why not go out in style, recorded by a camera crew, and probably earning a nice little pay packet for those left behind.

5

I used to believe that the Devil made fall and winter occur. I thought he pulled the flowers back into the ground by tugging on the roots.

6

The girl next door told me that when you fell asleep, your heart stopped beating. I used to go to bed with my hand over my heart to see if that was true. Stooopid neighbor girl…

7

I used to think the capital of North Carolina was pronounced like “Ralph.”

Also used to think that the image on the back of a U.S. penny was the Trolley from the Neighborhood of Make-Believe.

8

Ditto. I figured they got some guy from death row to jump out of the window.

9

I used to think the Collins Bay prison, which is on a mains treet close to where I lived as a kid, was the Friendly Giant’s castle. (The Friendly Giant was a Canadian kids’ show.)

10

I used to believe that Arkansas should be pronounced R-Kansas. Either that or Kansas should be pronounced Kan-Saw. I understood that adults told me that this wasn’t the case, I just thought they were being ridiculous. I thought they should use a little consistency in pronunciation. It irked me to no end. I remember arguing with my second or third grade teacher about it. I finally caved and have pronounced it their way ever since. I still secretly believe it is ridiculous.

11

I use to believe that the plants that spew smoke and pollution into the air were cloud factories.

12

I used to think that firemen started fires. My parents, being the fun folks they were, would do everything in their power to encourage my imagination…bastards. One night when I was four or five, I awoke to find myself in the arms of a fireman being carried out of my house. Needless to say, I went absolutely psycho on the poor guy.

13

I used to believe that if you turned an electric motor backwards, it would generate electricy.

14

I thought that if you didn’t wear your clothes or shoes for a while, they’d shrink. That’s why when you got your winter clothes out from storage, they wouldn’t fit.

15

Um, that’s actually true - a conventional DC motor will act like a dynamo (in fact it will if you turn it in either direction)

16

I didn’t make the connection between the sun and daylight. After all, there’s light on a cloudy day, but no sun.

I thought clouds were made by airplanes, from their contrails.

17

I belived everything my father told me.

  1. If I was bad he would sell me to the Egyptions.(sp?)

  2. Whip snakes would wrap themselves around my legs and whip me to death with their tails.

I’m pretty screwed up these days.

18

This has a grain of truth in it too, cloud formation has been observed to have been triggered by contrails (not rain clouds though, just those wispy cirrus or stratus ones or whatever)

19

My nephew looked sad on the airplane as his family flew with him to DisneyWorld. My sister asked him what the matter was and he looked out at the clouds and asked “Where are all the angels?”

20

I believed guys stuck their peckers in girls and peed to make babies. Thank gawd I was wrong…