Weird things I believed as a child

When I was a child I lived in San Diego. A local TV station (XETV?) made frequent announcements that “resident aliens” were required to register with the government. I thought that extraterrestrials were living in San Diego, and that these “little green men” were required to register so the government could track them.

I used to think Red Skelton’s name was Red Skeleton. I still do. (Or at least, I think it should have been.) Whenever I see those commercials for VHS tapes of his show, I think of a red skeleton dancing around.

Ditto on Red Skeleton. I always was confused that Captain America’s arch-nemesis was a cutesy comic.

I thought there were monkeys in stoplights working the stoplight with their hands, feet, and tail.

I thought that bands were actually at the radio station. They’d step up and play. When a request came in, the DJ would have to get the band to play their song.

I grew up in LA, and remember passing Don Kott Chevrolet, or whatever kind of car that lot sells.

I remember swearing up and down on my life that it was Don Knott Chevrolet. Not that I thought he was actually shilling cars, but I thought that was truly the name of the joint. Whadya know? Two Don Knotts in the world!

I thought everything in the old days was in black and white. I even asked my mom (born in 1943) if it was neat when everything changed over to color.

Ditto on the black and white, too.

I thought Superman was real.

I believed all objects had feelings. ie. the spoon would be sad if I used the fork instead.

NO JOKE?! :eek: I had no clue. Well I guess you learn something new everyday :smiley:

I was born in 1985, so I was growing up and paying attention to the news right around the Gulf war. I remeber wondering why we were attacking a country on the other side of the world in the Gulf of Mexico. It just made no sence to me.

I thought pimentos were fish!

That if you were honest, and worked hard, everything would work out OK.

Many hosings later, I realize I was a :wally but it’s a good value system.

I used to think that being ‘fired’ from a job meant that you would get incinerated :eek:

This was reinforced by watching a movie in which a man was fired then died some horrible firey death soon after.

My mom said that if I went in the yard and spun around I might get dizzy. I thought she said I’d turn into a daisy. I was afraid to spin around for years.

Watching dectective shows, I thought that when the police advised a suspect of his right to remain silent, that was simply a more insulting way of telling him to shut up. A little like telling someone “You’re free to leave anytime you feel like it,” or “You can shut up now.”

I thought I was American. Actually I’m Canadian, but had watched a whole lot of American TV. Damn that Sesame Street.

I thought there were three witches that haunted our bathroom: the Good Witch, the Checking Witch, and the Bad Witch. Whenever you flushed the toilet, you had to get out of the bathroom within a certain number of seconds. If the Checking Witch checked up on you and found that you hadn’t done this, she would send the Bad Witch around to poison you. If you did manage to get out of the bathroom in time, the Good Witch would come around to reward you … by giving you even less time to escape from the bathroom next time. :confused:

I also believed that I had a Siamese twin named Karen, whom nobody could see because she was shy and always hiding behind me. I knew for sure that she existed because I’d seen her in the mirrors at my ballet class, which were aligned so that people sometimes appeared to have two heads or three arms.

And, of course, I figured Ronald Reagan lived inside our TV set until my dad caught me trying to feed him jellybeans through the little slots in the back.

OK, so maybe I was a slightly weird kid :slight_smile:

When I was a kid, the old eenie meinie nursery rhyme said “catch a nigger by the toe.” I thought it was some different type of tiger. Even my black friend said nigger and had no idea what it meant. :stuck_out_tongue:

My grandma took me and my brother to see “Around the World in 80 Days.” I thought she was actually going to take us on a trip around the world for 80 long days. That seemed like a lifetime. And I only thought me and my brother were spending the night!..

Well, having been so little at the time, I now have no memory of that theater production.

Whenever weathermen would predict patchy fog, I heard it as Apache fog. Actually, I wasn’t even a kid when this happened, I was sixteen.

When I was very small I never wanted to go to England because if you disagreed with the king he’d chop off your head. (Of course, there had been no king for a long, long time before I was born.)

I used to think that Communism meant that nobody was allowed to own anything. If I was playing with a toy, then anyone could come up and take it from me so he could play with it, even if I wasn’t finished.

We were going to spend the night at my grandmother’s house. I asked her for a knife, because I thought we went there to “spin the knife”.

I used to think that the oldest person always died first. My best friend at the time used to lord it over me that he was five days older than I. I countered that that just meant that he was going to die five days sooner. I also had it figured out that since dad was the oldest, he’d die first and my mom and my sister and I would have a funeral for him. My mom would go next, and my sister and I would see to her rites. My sister was next in line, and I would hold a funeral for her. But being the youngest, there would be no one left to bury me. Then I realized that I would grow up and get married and… Oh. Wait a minute… :confused:

I used to think dogs could understand the human language. When my mother saw me speaking Japanese to a dog at the O-Club in Japan, I had to explain to her that I was speaking Japanese to it because it was a Japanese dog.

When I was little, I thought girls were icky. :smiley: (But there’s photographic evidence of me and a girl kissing when we were three.)

My overturned stool really was a rocket ship, and my plush snake toy would burn its tail if it wasn’t careful.