Who the hell are you, and what have you done with Shagnasty? :dubious:
You describe me as a child quite well. Please get out of my mind. 
When we were going on a long trip, like to Grandma’s house, we’d at some point pass a sign that said “Cleveland corporation limit”. I thought that sign meant that you weren’t allowed to have factories past that point. Because after all, a factory is a corporation, right?
My sister used to think that “soaking” meant “very”. “Soaking wet” means “very wet”, right? So she would say things like “I’m soaking happy”.
And along with the kid-magic others have mentioned, I used to believe I could cause traffic lights to change green quicker than they otherwise would, just by wishing them to change.
I thought Chips Ahoy’s selling point was that their cookies had the fewest chocolate chips.
I was perplexed by the “Post No Bills” sign at the post office. I mean, bills are a thing mom and dad pay, by putting checks in the mail. But then according to the sign, you couldn’t mail them at the post office. Where else should you post your bills? It was all very confusing.
My maternal step-grandfather was a US soldier in WW2, maternal grandmother(oma) a German “war spouse”, and my mother grew up in post WW2 Germany. My paternal grandfather was also a US soldier in WW2.
I only say this for the background on this silly story, as a child I assumed all the old people talking about the war were…I dunno on the same side or something?
It was only at some point when someone was like um when people’s grandparents talk about the war they mean the US side duh. It sounds extremely stupid but there you go I never said I was a smart child.
EDIT:As a child I saw a “Silence equals death” sticker on a mailbox that puzzled me for many years.
I’ve sent you a telepathic apology.
After dropping a balloon on the lawn and seeing it pop I realized that the blades in grass were sharp and you couldn’t walk barefoot on it or you would be injured.
We had air raid drills in 2nd grade. I imagined men wearing uniforms and WWI style British helmets hugging rifles with bayonets falling point down from the skies.
I thought “The Monkees” was a great television program. Not that long ago, I downloaded season 1. It wasn’t that good and I never watched all the episodes. Same for “Leave It To Beaver.”
I’m sure I’ve mentioned these before, probably more than once.
At age five or so I thought San Diego was Sandy Ehgo, the “sandy” part probably because I knew it had beaches and sand. Eggo Waffles wouldn’t appear until some years later.
Similarly I thought Las Vegas might be a state. I this might have come from the fact that people often got there by flying, just as they would if they were going to Pennsylvania or Wisconsin.
I thought you could turn the TV off in the middle of a show, and then continue the same program hours later–right where you left off. Hey! That one actually works now, sort of, if you have Netflix or Tivo or whatever.
The next one I haven’t ever mentioned.
Not particularly adorable, and I wasn’t a child, but the first time I saw the eye-roll smiley here I didn’t realize it was supposed to be sarcastic and dismissive. This was primarily because I didn’t realize it was an eye-roll; instead I thought it was fatigued resignation at having to explain something for the hundredth time, presumably to 100 different people that is. Probably because of the eyebrows the smiley looks more sad than sarcastic to me.
I thought everyone was either Jewish or Catholic. Because on the block I lived on, that was about it.
I bet she still does, only with an extra syllable.
I thought Erik Estrada’s name was Erica Strada.
Well, that certainly explains your handle.
I thought germs came from Germany, so if I got sick I’d be mad at the Germans.
I used to wonder how actors could kiss someone who wasn’t their lover as part of a role. I still slightly wonder about this, actually.
I thought the Best Picture Oscar went to the film that made the most money. I believed this until 1983, when E.T. didn’t win.
I believed that clouds stayed in one place unless you were driving in a car then they would move because you were moving. I guess it never occurred to me that the sky looked different the next day even if we hadn’t gone anywhere. When my Dad told me that clouds are always moving I got into a loud enough argument that warranted some quiet time. :mad:
After that let’s just say what I believed about California condors I kept to myself.
Count me in. I thought they were telepathic.
I thought that if you killed a king or queen, you became the king or queen. I mean, there were all those stories about people killing the ruler to get the throne…somehow I missed the part where they were already in line.
I got so used to seeing the FBI Piracy warning at the very start of all my favorite (VHS) movies that I thought that the warning meant it would be a good movie. So I got excited every time I saw it.