I have a relative who is a decent 50yr old man. Unmarried - not from lack of interest but shyness mainly.
The problem which perplexes me is that his mind seems to have stopped at age 15. Fortunately he is able to cope with contact with the world and to most people he appears normal on brief acquaintance. His sense of humour can be childlike and he could be dismissed as immature.
I have looked briefly at the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual 4 but there are a myriad of diagnoses which I cannot distinguish among.
This man had a domineering (but not cruel) father which can be a factor. Basically my relative never grew up.
I’d like to help him if possible. Any thoughts on what personality disorder or mental condition which could point the way?
AFAIK having a juvenile sense of humor isn’t a symptom of any mental disorder. It sounds like your relative is able to function normally and you don’t say that he’s suffering from any mental distress or impairment, so it’s not clear to me why you think he has a problem that needs to be diagnosed.
Does he have a history of alcohol or drug abuse? I’ve known people with addictions who appeared to be stunted at the age at which their addictions began. The addictions prevented them from gaining life experiences and maturing along the way.
I have known several individuals who could be described as childlike. I don’t mean juvenile, as in giggling at fart jokes and the like, but rather seemingly as innocent as a newborn babe. Completely asexual, operating out in La-la Land, but otherwise functioning normally. One I got to know very well here in Thailand was in my Peace Corps group back in the 1980s. He was from Vermont, where he’d been a bank teller. By his accounts, he had a very healthy relationship with both parents and his sisters. He was just innocently childlike. Some people are just like that.
Suppose you did have a named, definitive diagnosis, what would you do with that information; if there is some identifiable thing going on, would you be qualified to treat it?
Absent that, I suppose the big question for me is “is your friend happy?” Is he satisfied with his life, does he want to make minor changes (like being more social), or is he bothered by the situation and doesn’t know what to do about it? I’d figure out the answer to that before deciding what to do.
The only information you’ve provided is his age, his lack of a significant other, and this : “His sense of humour can be childlike and he could be dismissed as immature.”
Sounds like any normal guy to me so far. Do you have more pertinent details? It appears you left them all out.
Inasmuch as we can never truly describe another’s mental illness, we sure as shit can’t do it off of four or so vague lines wherein the metaphorical geiger counter doesn’t even begin to click rapidly.
Developmentally disabled [retarded]. possibly. Note people who are borderline developmentally disabled may look and act like other people, but may in many ways be childlike.
For example I know a 29 year old with an IQ of 85. He likes to be read Dr. Seuss books [he can’t read very well himself]. And otherwise is childlike.
Excellent question…It occurs to me this “childlike” person may be happier then all of the adults that are concerned for or otherwise wishing/trying to change him added together.
Hard if not impossible to quantify…but certainly worth the time it takes to contemplate.
In what way is he “childlike”? Has tantrums? Asks annoying “why” questions? Can’t tie his own shoes? Goes around biting other people? Plays with dolls?
Just saying he’s “childlike” isn’t very descriptive.
Excellent. Which is why I didn’t post in General Questions. It is a problem for which there may be no answers but I am hoping to find helpful strategies to enrich his life. My OP is short on details because long posts are hard to read and I try to be succinct.
Happy? Sort of but lonely, low self esteem, and lacking in stimulation. He gets most of it from Discovery/Nat Geo tv channels.
No romantic relationships ever. I was at a party with him once and an attractive young lady was certainly interested but he had no idea.
Pets - yes. A cat and he used to have sheep dogs which he liked.
Sports - not a lot although he will watch tv international rugby matches. Music - he used to like Led Zeppelin etc as a youth but no interest in anythng these days.