Or, the Magic Oven:
For tonight’s dinner, we were to have roast beef. Great, beef is god! Well, the cooks took out the beef, and placed it lovingly into the oven with some onions and garlic in it.
A few hours later, it was taken out of the oven. We had two roasts, and although they were the same size, one came out medium/medium rare, and the other was almost well done. Not only was it almost well done, but it was white! Beef is not white. Pork is white. But these were beef roasts.
We get our food from Sysco, a large national company that provides food and other sundries to restaurants, hotels, and schools across the nation. The box said beef, and all the other slabs of meat taken from this had been beef as well, so it just must be off-colored beef.
Well, we tasted it to make sure it hadn’t gone bad…it hadn’t…it had gone pork. One guy went so far as to bring out some applesauce to PROVE that it was pork. How could this be? It was beef when it went into the oven!
The solution? Magic oven. It has alchemetic powers that turn beef into pork. Our next experiment shall be to turn chicken into salmon, and then some pork into a cornish game hen. I’ll let you know how that turns out.