Before the use of “bastard” became acceptable on network TV the movie Jaws dubbed it over. In the scene where the mayor is ranting to Chief Brody about the vandals who painted over a billboard he tells him “I want you to find those paint happy bozos…”
Which, of course, makes me want to see Eddie Izzard on TV, dubbed over.
“Did you fun my wife? Did you fun my wife? Hey…did you fun my wife?”
“I AM your wife.”
“I don’t care. Did you fun my wife?”
“Yes. I funned your wife. I am your wife, and I funned her.”
In the special features of the Shaun of the Dead dvd, they have a scene called “Funky Pete” where Pete is cussing out his housemates, and every instance of “fuck” is replaced with “funk”. It’s quite silly.
For some reason, NBC decided that the yiddish bits of While You Were Sleeping should be dubbed over. Obviously, with a different voice, with mono sound.
And of course, how can I forget that infamous scene in A Few Good Men when Jack Nicholson yells “Forget you!” (Gotta love TBS, a close-up shot and a clearly two syllable phrase becomes three syllables. Priceless.)
We watched a bit of Fargo on TNT once and were put out by the changes, but if the Coen brothers came up with them themselves, well, then they are pretty damn funny 
“I’ll kill your fruity wife, I’ll kills your fruity kids”
“I gave you simple fruitful instructions”
My favorite is from Back To The Future, where Biff calls everyone a “Son of a butthead!”
The one I remember best is American Graffiti. They censored tons of stuff in a movie that really doesn’t have much profanity in it to begin with. Two instances became catch phrases around my household: first, when Paul Le Mat tells Mackenzie Phillips to file his traffic ticket under “C.S. …for chicken stuff!”; second, when Wolfman Jack shakes Ron Howard’s hand and gets melted popsicle juice on him. The original line is “Sticky mothers, ain’t they?” They badly spliced in the word “popsicles,” so it came out “Sticky 'opsicles, ain’t they?”
One good dubbing was in High Plains Drifter on TBS years ago. Near the beginning, several characters are discussing whether they should hire a gunman (Clint Eastwood) and someone comments “…seeing as how our sheriff is about as much use as tits on a boar…” The dubbed version was “…seeing as how our sheriff is about as much use as boots on a boar…”
I thought it was pretty clever.
Oh, we got to get the Coen Brothers to release these versions for TV in a DVD-box.
I would love to own these.
Those are some of the funniest lines ever written.
The BBC used to do this, but lately are showing theatrical versions. Couple of years ago I watched Midnight Run on BBC1. The scene where De Niro loses his rag with Charles Grodin and says ‘I’ve got two words to say to you, shut the fuck up!’ was edited to - ‘I’ve got two words to say to you, shut up!’ thereby removing any vestige of humour. Jeez
MiM
In Caddyshack, at the end, Rodney Dangerfield exclaims “Hey we’re all gonna get laid!”.
During one airing on broadcast TV, it was changed to “Hey we’re all gonna get coffee!”
Go figure.
TV version of The Blues Brothers
Jake: Shoot!
Elwood: What?
Jake: Rollers.
Elwood: Shoot!
Jake: You said you didn’t want our money. So I said, then I guess your really up the creek.