Adventures in Kid Connection

Or, why not to buy $.25 sodas from Wal-Mart.

So I was in Wal-Mart today (I know, I’m evil) cause I needed to get a few things for my trip to florida (florida = awesome.)

Anyways, I came unto to soda aisle, and saw these tiny, 8.45 fluid oz. bottles of soda, called “kid connection soda.” Well, there was red and blue, and they only cost $.25, so I got one of each. Now, to begin I must describe the bottle. It is small, kinda fat for it’s hieght, and each one has this little “kid” on it. I say “kid,” because he is really just a large head with yellow hair and two boxing gloves, one of which is in a position as to “punch” something. Also, his skin is the color of the soda inside. So the red (fruit puicnh) man is red, while the blue (buble gum) is blue.

And another thing, blue for bubble gum? Last I checked, the standard color for bubble gum and bubble gum flavored things was pink/red. But, I guess since they wasted red on their fruit punch, they were pretty much up the creek without a paddle.

Now onto the taste. The fruit punch tastes like all fruit punch sodas. Very sweet, and not really reminiscant of any kind of fruit in any way. Now the bubble gum…ahh, the bubble gum. First off, it tried to kill me as I opened it, by almost spewing forth a deadly mixture of carbon dioxide and soda. Luckily, I capped it before any of this poison got onto my skin. Of course, at this point I remembered that I planned ot put it into my mouth…uh oh.

If there was one thing in this world I would say this soda does not taste like, it’s bubble gum. It’s taste is more akin to that of pepto-bismol mixed with grape juice that has long since expired. Add to that an aftertaste of coffee beans that had been soaked in anti-freeze.

I’ve learned my lesson. These things were $.25 for a reason. Forgive me, body, for I have sinned against you.