Maria Shriver offered her tips, including “Follow your gut” and “Don’t expect anyone else to support you financially.”
Now I turn to the sage Dopers. What advice YOU can offer to recent high school and/or college graduates? What do you wish you had known before venturing out into the real world???
Believe it or not, adults (over 30 to you grads) DO ACTUALLY KNOW STUFF!! We’ve been there AND done that. Granted not everyone handles situations the same, but life experience can be of great value. Just because you think an adult’s advice is stupid, at least remember what they told you. It may come in handy and if nothing else, it’ll make you stop and think. While you’re stopping and thinking, you aren’t doing something stupid.
Do this: when an adult gives you advice you don’t agree with, write it down, seal it in an envelope, date it, and put it away. When you are an adult and a teen asks you the same question, open the envelope and see how your advice stands up against what’s in the envelope.
protect your credit rating, pay stuff on time or do without.
McDonald’s is not cheap food. Neither is frozen dinners. Learn to cook a little bit at least.
Get a good alarm clock with a battery backup.
Save all you can. 401K is your friend.
Always keep 2 spare toothbrushes in original packaging. Theses are good for overnight guest as well as when you drop your own in the toilet or litterbox.
Floss. Dentures suck.
Brush your teeth and your tongue. It helps get rid og bad breath that can make you unattractive to the opposite sex and to co-workers and bosses.
Remember to figure the cost of drycleaning into the cost of clothes.
Wear comfortable shoes. Bunions suck.
Clean the bathroom once a week whether it needs it or not. Mildew is easier to prevent than cure. Buy cheap shower curtains (i get mine for $4.50) and change them semi-annually or buy a washable one and wash it.
Wash protien based stains in cold water, oil based in hot. If it is both, use cold first.
Learn how to sew on a button and fix a zipper. Ironing is a good skill to pick up too.
Learn how to use the washing machine,dryer, dishwasher, and microwave. Learn how to comparison shop. Don’t expect to be making $50K right out of school.
Save a little bit out of each paycheck and have it automatically deposited into a savings account. You won’t miss it that way.
–tygre
George Carlin: You know, a meal from McDonald’s isn’t really that cheap. You have to factor in the cost of angioplasty too. (I may have misquoted that a little, but you get the drift!)
Here is my advice:
Never lose touch with high school friends. Those friendships will last.
Once you graduate, forget all that popularity shit. It has no place outside high school. IRL, the nerds and unpopular dorks will be your bosses, so learn to love them.
Keep in touch with the friends you had when you were little. They can remind you how cool you were when you were a kid.
Cut up the credit card right now! (I am currently paying off an $800 debt, so trust me on this one!)
Take a long trip by yourself.
Go to a movie by yourself.
Stop going to the parties still held by the kids who were “cool” in high school.
Accept certain truths: You will get piss-faced drunk and embarrass yourself. You will have bad sex with a random person and regret it. You will owe money that you don’t have at some point in your life. You will realize how lucky you had it when you were living at home and Mom cooked all the meals.
Stop being a know-it-all. Life will knock you down pretty soon and reality will set in. I used to think I had it all figured out too.
If you honestly think high school might just be the best years of your life, put your head in the freezer. Wait, chop it off first.
Your parents WERE right, ya dumby.
Ignore the compulsion to plan your postgraduate life by “shoulds” (i.e. I am good at science so I SHOULD be a doctor; Now that I’m a grownup I SHOULD get a power job right out of school; I am smart so I SHOULD go to law school; I am 25 so I SHOULD be married; etc etc etc.).
You do not have to know what you want to do for the rest of your life at 18. Or 21. Or 30. Or 40. Things change, and people change, and so do jobs and opportunities.
And like what someone else said about popularity: Throw out whatever your high school and college experience taught you about social hierarchy. That crap SO doesn’t matter in the real world. Judge people by their character, not how they look, where they shop, what they drive, or or what their job is.
My advice would be to make sure that you get an education in something that you could see yourself doing and enjoying. I got an education geared toward medical sciences, and ended up getting a job dealing with communication and customer service. I chose what I chose mostly for my mother, who has since passed on. Every now and then I’ll take the diploma, dust it off, and chuckle at my foolishness. I don’t regret the diploma, but wish it were in something that more applies to my career. C’est la vie!
–Your parents were often right. Other times, they were wrong.
–Those who go off to college, spend all their time outside class watching TV in their rooms, and don’t take any Friday classes so they can come home Thursday night and stay until Monday morning–that is, most of the people from my class who went to college–are missing the point entirely.
–Don’t be afraid to screw up. How else do you ever expect to learn anything?
–As others before me have said, don’t do things because other people think you should. However, don’t not do things just because people think you should–sometimes, it happens to be what you want to do. (I struggled with this one for a while. Everyone thought that I should be a doctor, and it turned out that’s what I wanted to do.)
–Television is a hole into which time disappears. Don’t get cable. (Of course, the same could be said for the internet, but that’s different…somehow…)
–Just because you have money, it doesn’t mean you have to spend it. (This one always seemed obvious to me, but many of my friends didn’t seem to understand the concept.)
–Don’t judge your friends by how many people you have to drink with, etc. A better question–how many people would be there for you in the middle of the night if you needed them? An even better question–how many people would you be there for?
–Weird is not necessarily bad. It is not always good, either.
–Travel. It’s amazing how cheap you can travel if you 1.) don’t buy a lot of expensive drinks and 2.) don’t feel obligated to buy everyone a T-shirt.
–Define yourself. If you defy definition, make sure it’s because there are no appropriate words to define you, not because there’s nothing to define.
–If you think “there’s nothing to do around here”, the problem is you, not the place you’re in.
–Beware of having too many dishes. Keep out what you use to cook, and enough plates/forks/glasses/etc. for all the people who routinely eat at your place, plus one. Put the rest up. Trust me on this one.
–If you’re going to have a roommate, try to have two. With one, you get tired of him/her in a hurry. With three, someone always gets left out. Two roomates is about right.
Sorry if it’s long and rambling–it’s late.
Dr. J
Things I know now, but wish I knew then:
You will have a lot of credit cards offering you free t-shirts and mugs if you apply for their card. I guarantee that they will approve you even though you have no job or credit history. That’s because they have found that they can lure college students into the trap of accumulating 4 years of debt and then taking 10 years to pay it off. So, try to limit yourself to one credit card, but file it away and only use it in emergencies.
Also, having too many credit cards can be bad for your credit history. A bank may turn you down for a loan because you have too much “rotating debt”.
Compromise and constant communication are the two best ways to keep a roommate relationship healthy. If your rommate is doing something that is inconsiderate or irritating to you, don’t complain about it to your friends and let it eat you up inside. Talk to the roommate. It’s quite likely that they simply don’t know that it’s bothering you and will stop once you point it out.
Set $100 aside once a month (or even better, once a paycheck) in an interest-bearing account. NOTHING is as awesome as the power of compound interest. And one thing you have that none of us oldbies have: time. Start saving money now; by being careful and putting your money where it makes a lot (a diversified portfolio, but that can come later when you learn more about the stuff), you can end up with over a MILLION DOLLARS for youself – just for the money you set aside.
Never buy a brand new car that requires you to take out financing for more than three years. Better yet, until you make enough money that you can pay for half of the price of the car in cash, buy a solid used car instead.
I am sorry, I just have to jump up and down and hoot in agreement after reading Doctor J’s post. He made a point that reminded me of something my mom once said when I was contemplating a trip to Europe: “You’ll never regret spending money on travel.” And she was right. I can’t tell you what my parents got me for Christmas when I was 12, but I can readily remember a wonderful trip to we took to New Mexico that year. And while no one gives a rat’s ass about the couch I bought for my first apartment (or the fact that my first car was a 1973 pinto station wagon), it has continued to be enriching and helpful that I’ve seen the world some.
Things wear out. Experiences last. I suppose, by that same token, if you had the choice between spending $500 on a consumer good or $500 to take flying lessons, or a class in stained glass, or a training course for some new skill… I’d always take the latter.
The only thinks I really regret are the things I didnt do.
I wish I had slept with the sexy guitar player in university.
I wish I had gone to a technical school instead of wasting my money at university. I wish I hadnt been in such a hurry to saddle myself with kids and all the responsibility - meaning I really regret never going out west to work in a ski resort like Banff, or gone to mexico, or europe… or anywhere.
This is a good thread for anyone, and I have got some cash coming in this week, I have been fretting about spending so much on camping trips/gear so I can take the kids places all summer. I wont sweat it now. Who the hell needs a dvd player/new waterbed, when I can take them places and make memories instead!
In summation, my advice is suck the hell out of every second of your life, and keep a journal of some kind, so when you are old and stuck home with a bawing baby, or a shithead husband, you can truly escape in your mind to the time when you were young and free.
Here are my words of wisdom, accumulated during my 34 years…
Forget the dream house. I know people who work all damn day to afford a house they never enjoy…because they’re working all damn day to afford the house. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Daycare is a poor substitute for a parent. There is nothing a kid wants more than your attention.
Don’t spend a lot of energy fighting unwinnable battles. The dust will come back tomorrow.
Cover Girl lipstick looks the same as Chanel lipstick.
Silence is golden. Turn off the t.v. Read. Or just listen to the crickets.
Look for a mate who is kind. Passion fades. Compassion won’t.
Plan your meals before you go to the grocery. Make lists or you’ll throw a fortune down the drain.
Some friendships aren’t worth the effort.
It’s easier to not put on weight than it is to lose it.
Marry a man who’s handy around the house.
Be wary of people who would rather be right than happy.
Dr. J, I think I could stalk you for your common sense and humor. But Punditlisa has some more outstanding points, too, but I can’t stalk two dopers at once. 
From Shirley’s Book of Thing’s I’ve Learned the Hard Way.
-Stay away from low self esteem people. They will suck you emotionally dry every chance they can get.
-Learn to keep your mouth shut. It will make people believe you are intelligent.
-Learn to say no is the best thing you can do for yourself.
( If that isn’t clear, try this " You are a victim once, after that, you are just volunteering.")( I’ve never had a problem with this, it’s my mom and mother in law who are the saps.)
-It’s ok to be different. But understand that some people have a desperate need to conform and belong. That’s ok too.And some times when you are being different just to piss off people just may alienate them entirely. And you just may need them in the future for something. So cut it out.
-Some people need religion to get through their days. Other people do not. These people will, inexplicably, be related and grate on each others nerves.
-Travel, travel, travel, travel. I have never ever regretted a trip.
-Never put anything on your credit card that is down the toilet, in the ozone, etc, before the bill comes in. (Gas, food, impulse items.)
-When using your credit card ( for frequent flyer points 
) for a friends purchase ( and the said friend has the money then and there) have them make out the check to your credit card company, rather than to you, then you can mail it in rather than run the risk of deposit/withdrawl for something else-oh-I’ll-pay-it-back-next-pay-check-I-promise.
-Burn the nice candles.
-It is easier to maintain a certain weight/athletic level then to get back into shape.
-Go to a bunch of concerts, buy a bunch of music,wear the trendy clothing, get your nails done, do the entire young-and-disposable income-and-not-enough-responsibilities, because one day, it’s work-commute-home-housework-commute-work repeat until retirement.
Here are the two biggest ones I’ve learned in life:
-The best moments in life cannot be planned ( ok, outside of the birth of your children.) Weddings are the same over done parties with the same music and require uncomfortable shoes for all.* The best moments in life are spontaneous and free.* You will never have your camera handy and whatever you put on a cam corder is just plain dull and no one else wants to see, ever. And you will look fat/sound funny on the video. You will never ever be able to explain to someone younger just how satisfying it is to sit on your front porch and take satisfaction at the fine job you did mowing and weedwacking the lawn. They will think you are nuts.
-Those that keep their waistlines/hair/tits in place naturally, at the reunions, have made a pact with the devil.
In conclusion, I would like to follow up with my best seller: *Things I’ve learned about money to keep my head above water *
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Actually I was thinking after doing Katimavik (if I get accepted) I might go work in Banff. smiles I have relatives down here and I’d be close to my Mom still if I need her.
Thats one thing several of my relatives have done… came and worked in Banff for at least a year. (Two of them still live down here one still lives and work in Banff at the Springs hotel…)
Here is my " Guide to Reality or Better living through Cliches". Pragmatic and practical things I’ve learned during my life. I originally did this for my 17 year old cousin for her graduation gift this year, but lost the nuts to give it too her as it would be labeled as another thing my family does not getabout me.
Most are sayings and cliches. I have a firm belief that cliches can help you out (or in) most working and personal situations in this life. There are a couple of duplicates within and from above. I apologize for my lack of prufreading. I’ve bolded my favorites.
1. By the time you make ends meet, someone moves the ends.
3.On Gardening:
Plant, and your spouse plants with you.
Weed and you weed alone.
4.You can’t build your reputation on what you are going to do. - Henry Ford
5.It is easier to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission.
6.Sometimes you have to lose a battle to Win the War.
7.Indecision is the key to flexibility.
**8.**He who knows he has enough is rich. - Chinese Proverb
**9.**Most people are willing to change, not because they see the light, but because they feel the heat.
The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it is unfamiliar territory.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men and women to do nothing.
**12.**Never make a threat you cannot carry out.
13.One good thing about being wrong is the joy it brings to others.
14. We may pass violets looking for Roses.
We may pass contentment looking for Victory.
-From a Chinese Fortune Cookie.
**15.**Freedom, after all, is simply being able to live with the consequences of your decisions.
16.If ignorance is bliss, then why aren’t more people orgasmic?
17.Love does not make the world go 'round.
Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.
18.The road to a successful relationship is always under construction.
19.Never pack more than you can carry.
20.Take half the clothing and twice the money.
21.Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite. Futhermore, always carry a small snake. - WC Fields.
22.I hear and I forget. I see and I forget. I do and I remember. -Confucius.
23.You’ll take a job just because the money is great…Once.
24.It is wrong always, everywhere, and for anyone, to believe anything upon insufficient evidence. - William Kingdon Clifford.
26.If something seems too good to be true, it probably is.
27.Never be afraid to ask someone a question, but be damn sure you are willing and ready for the answer. You just may not like it.
28.Eat less, move more.
30.Don’t buy knick knacks/souvenirs inside the amusement park first thing upon arrival: 1) You will have to carry it all day. 2) By the end of the day the impulse will have passed and 3) you can usually find it cheaper off Park Property. 3) Do you really need a sombrero the size of Rhode Island?
31.Nothing cures communism like a Big Mac. - P.J. O’Rourke.
32. Everyone wants to save the world, but no one wants to help mom with the dishes.
P.J. O’Rourke. (This is a perfect retort to hurl at the Save The Lemming Protesters.)
**33.**After the blisters and the corns and the aching feet, you will discover you don’t give a rat’s butt on what others think of your feet as long as your tootsies are comfortable. The moral: Comfortable shoes are worth every penny.
34.Take snacks with you on long flights.
35.If you give noisy gifts to a friend’s child, expect to be paid back in spades.
36.When we focus on solving problems, we avoid placing blame.
37.You cannot lead someone to a positive change by doing something for them what they should be doing themselves.
38.The difference between a man and woman is that a man will pay ten dollars for a one dollar item he wants, and a woman will pay one dollar for a two dollar item she doesn’t need.
39.The price of greatness is responsibility. - Winston Churchill.
41.Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances. - Thomas Jefferson
43.Give a man a fish,
He’ll eat for a day.
Give a man a remote,
And he’ll never speak again.
44.One cannot travel heavy, happy and cheap. Pick two.
45.Either the house looks good or I look good. It cannot be both.
46.Don’t subject family and friends to home videos unless they show an interest in them. And if they do show an interest in them, suspect their intelligence or they want to borrow something.
47.Understanding does not necessarily mean agreement.
48.Take a good look at your Mother and Father and Grandparents Bodies. Now look at your body and realize you will inherit this body. Learn to deal with it. ( In the end, we all wear elastic waist pants and velcro tennis shoes. It is inevitable.)
There are two sides to every story.
Listen to both.
Never be afraid to ask someone a question.
But be damn sure you are willing and ready for
The answer. You just may not like it.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil
Is for good men and women to do nothing.
It is wrong always, everywhere, and for anyone
To believe anything upon insufficient evidence.
53. The story is told of five men sitting around a potbellied stove,
Arguing about which is the “right” religion - which offers
the greatest assurance of salvation. It was a fruitless discussion
because no one could agree. Finally, they turned to a wise old fellow
Who had been sitting in the corner, listening.
“Gentlemen, " began the man.” When the cotton is picked, there are
several ways to get it to the gin. We can take it the Northern Route -
it’s longer but the road is better. Or we can take it the Southern Route -
which is shorter and full of chuckholes. Or we can go over the mountain,
even though it’s more perilous. When we reach the gin, though the man
doesn’t ask which way we came. He simply asks, " Brother, how good is
your cotton?" - Dale Turner, Grateful Living.
54. You can pick your friends, your nose and your stocks.
You cannot pick your boss, your in-laws or your neighbors.
You can leave all of the latter three, but it will cost you.
Then when things are getting heated, interrupt and
Tell everyone to switch sides.
58. I have learned more from my worst boss on how not to manage and treat coworkers, than from my best boss.
Change your thoughts and You change your world. -Norman Vincent Peale.
What we are is God’s gift to us.
What we become is our gift to God.
You can have it all. You just can’t have it all at once.
-Oprah
If you had it all, just where would you put it?
A father is a man who expect his children
to be as good as he meant to be.
64.Every now and then, go away, take a little relaxation,
because when you come back to your work, your judgement will
be surer. To remain constantly at work will cause
you to lose power of judgement. Go some distance away, because
then the work appears smaller and more of it can be taken
in at a glance, and lack of harmony or proportion is more readily seen.
-Leonardo da Vinci
65. Avoid insecure people at all costs. They will suck you emotionally dry.
(If you cannot avoid them because they are family/neighbors/best friends brother etc) Then take
the initiative in the conversation and become the “alpha wolf” and ALWAYS GIVE YOURSELF AN OUT so that you can leave after a set amount of time.)
66.You cannot change an insecure person. They have to
Want to change themselves.
.
The cycle of fashion -
10 years before its time: indecent
5 years before its time: shameless
1 year before its time: outre
At present: smart
1 year after its time; dowdy
10 years after its time: hideous
30 years after its time: amusing
50 years after its time: quaint
100 years after its time: romantic
If you can’t be a good example, you’ll have to be a horrible warning.
It is that they can’t see the solution. It is that they can’t see the problem. - GK Chesterton.
The pen is mightier than the sword, but paper cuts hurt the most.
Perfect paranoia is perfect awareness.
Outside a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside a dog, it’s too dark to read.
The darkest hour is only 60 minutes long.
74. Success isn’t what you achieve, it is what you overcome.
76. History must repeat itself because we paid such little attention to it the first time.
It is easier to love humanity as a whole than love one’s neighbor. - Eric Hoffer
Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.
Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction. - Antoine De Sainte Expey
You are only a victim once, after that, you’re just volunteering. - Naomi Judd
I use to think the world was against me. Now I know better. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.
There is only one basic right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic duty, the duty to take the consequences. - PJ O’Rourke.
The early bird gets the worm, but it’s the second mouse that gets the cheese.
I’m living so far beyond my income, that we almost be said to be living apart. - e.e. cummings.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. - Napoleon.
The difference between “involvement” and “commitment” is like eggs and ham breakfast: the chicken was involved, the ham was committed.
I am not a vegetarian because I like animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate vegetables.
The trouble with his ignorance is it covers so many subjects.
Idiocy: Never underestimate the power of stupid people is large groups.
I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
No where is it written that life must be taken seriously.
It must be that since light travels faster than sound that some people appear bright until they speak.
When your mind goes blank, remember to turn off the volume.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. - Groucho
I would never join a club that would accept someone like me as a member - Groucho
Those are my principles. If you don’t like them, I have others. - Groucho
You can’t stay mad at someone who makes you laugh.
With slight apologies to Robert Fulgham…
Everything I needed to Know About Life I Learned in Grad School
1.) When you’re finished playing with your toys put them away. But don’t put them away where you found them – Someone else might find them there.
2.) Always take a nap during the afternoon symposium.
3.) We would all get along better if we remember that you should play nicely with each other, because you can be put on a Committee at any time if you don’t.
4.) Don’t make fun of someone else’s presentation or ask embarassing questions, and they probably won’t do it to you.
5.) And Remember – its only a degree.
Just because you have a piece of paper doesn’t mean you’re the smartest person alive. And just because you’re young and lacking experience doesn’t mean you’re the stupidest person on the planet. Be humble in victory, and gracious in defeat.
Oh, and on a really practical note that will seem impractical until it’s too late, I can’t stress enough what Shirley Ujest said about IRAs - the sooner you start planning for your retirement, financially speaking, the better your retirement will be. You may think there’s plenty of time to think of that later, but the later it gets, the more your retirement will cost you, and the later you’ll be able to retire. Start early, and you’ll be retiring sooner, and with more $$.
All of this talk about working in Banff reminds me that when I was 17, I was supposed to go work at the Banff Springs Hotel (my dad spent a winter there restoring old furniture, and got me the job). I changed my mind a couple of months before I was supposed to go because I wanted to stay with my boyfriend.
I wound up unexpectedly getting pregnant, without any real education or work experience and being too broke to do the things I really wanted to do, and being really young and staying at home with a child.
I always wondered how things might have been different if I had gone to Banff…