My father’s sister lives alone in an apartment in Queens, NY, and may have had a stroke. She’s in the hospital now, apparently somewhat disoriented, but we don’t yet have a diagnosis or prognosis. She’s in her 80s, nearly blind from macular degeneration, but until now has been able to get about on her own. She may be able to again, if she recovers from this incident, whatever it is.
Although she has a good friend there who is helping her at the moment, the friend is also rather elderly and has her own health issues. My father and I, here in Maryland, are her only relatives.
So we have to look into what the options might be for assisted living. She has essentially no money: a small pension, but no real estate or valuable property.
My father is under the impression that she might get better aid from the state of New York, where she has lived her entire life, than she would if she came here. Being here, of course, would be more convenient for us.
So can anyone offer a basic primer, or point me to good resources, on how to move someone into assisted living? How to choose the location (NY vs MD), the specific facility, what it is likely to cost, what programs can help her, and anything else we need to know. Information specific to New York or Maryland would be particularly useful.
The situation is not desperate yet, AFAIK, but it’s time to get prepared. Thanks.
My friend’s mom is in a very similar situation. She was widowed over 40 years ago and to my knowledge has only social security; no other investments or annuities. She is in Section 8 Assisted Living. My friend gave me the scoop on it a couple years back. Her mother lives in a seniors only building. They have a card that they put on their door each night. They’re supposed to flip it when they get up in the morning so the staff knows they’re alive.
She has someone come in regularly to help with the heavy cleaning and clipping toenails, etc. I’m not sure how incapacitated she is from her stroke, but I believe she can cook a little for herself. Those who can’t have a dining hall I think. There is a bus that takes them shopping and on planned outings.
She’s made friends and has independent activities with them. My friend was worried that her mom would have a hard time with the move (she’d previously been living with her daughter for 20-odd years). It sounds like an ideal situation for someone who needs some help but wants to maintain a degree of independence.
I think you can scope it out on the section 8 webpage for your state (or any state). I think the services and amenities vary from county to county, so you will need to see exactly what is offered in the area you’re looking in. You need to put in an application and I think it’s rather slow-going. Good luck!