On Sunday, Mouse_Spouse and I are going on vacation. We’ve been looking forward to this for weeks. This trip will be a last hurrah before the Mouseling is born.
The downside (for me): we’re flying. This scares the hell out of me. For our trip to London, I asked my doctor for a couple of sleeping pills and was stoned the whole flight. (The flight back deserves a MPSIMS thread of its own.) Since I’m pregnant and this is just a 2 hour flight, I don’t want to take anything.
Is it a fear or a phobia? In other words, do you think it is possible to be rid of the fear by being better informed about flying?
Are there specific things that you are afraid of? E.g., take-off, landing, being really high, not being in control, hearing unusual noises, being confined with a lot of other people, etc.
There have been other threads on this topic, I’ll see if I can dig some up.
I thinks its a “Not Being In Control” issue. I’m a control freak. I don’t drink because I’m afraid to lose my composure. Letting my guard down is very difficult. Trust is also something I struggle with.
Putting my life in the hands of strangers, risking a frightening death and not being able to do anything about it is very scary.
I have the same problem. There are three things that help me:
Sit at or in front of the wings. There is far less turbulence at the front of the plane than at the back, which makes for an overall less scary experience.
Think hard about how experienced the pilot is, about all the training he’s gone through, and about how he doesn’t want to die either.
I had a very bad time with this years ago. I am still uncomfortable, but during the worst period (I even resorted to cancelling trips at the last minute), I discovered xanax.
There may be other meds available today, but don’t be afraid to get a prescription for anti-anxiety drugs. In my case (and I have never had a prescription for anything other than fear of flying and root canal pain), xanax was a godsend. I wouldn’t take it for normal everyday shit, but I’d take that pill half an hour before the flight and be completely comfortable the entire way through.
When you’re actually on the plane, resist the temptation to look out of the window while taking off and landing. There’s something about the changing acceleration and attitude that can make this a really unpleasant - often physically sickening - experience if you’re sitting half-turned. Sit straight with your head back against the headrest and (optionally) let your eyes close - it’s actually enjoyable this way (or perhaps would be merely tolerable in your case).
Bring along a portable DVD player or video iPod and immerse yourself in a good comedy or light drama. A friend of mine is afraid of flying and I brought along “the Office” and “Grey’s Anatomy.” We were so busy watching them that she didn’t have time to focus on the turbulence.
The thing I always forget is to expect that robotic “whirring” sound Boeings make just after takeoff and before landing. The first time I heard it I was sure we were going down. It sounded like something was struggling. Turns out it’s just the pilot adjusting the wing curvature so you can actually get up (or down in the case of landing).
Anyway, don’t panic when the plane suddenly goes “WHRRRRRRRRRR WHRRRRRRRRR WHRRRRRRRRR CLICK CLICK THUMP!” on takeoff. It’s normal no matter how abnormal it sounds.
Second, regarding putting your life in somebody else’s hands… remember that these people are professionals up there with other professionals. You’re taking a far bigger risk driving to the airport than the actual flying. If only highly-trained and skilled professionals were allowed to drive cars, too.
My Uncle is a pilot and he’s got this simulation software on his home computer – I played it once, just for fun. The graphics were lame, but the audio was really good. And he explained to me what all the noises were; the wing flaps, the landing gear going up and down, the beeps from the towers as the plane approaches and passes them.
It really helped.
Plus, we lived near O’Hare for a while and saw planes going by every.single.day. It makes you realize how ordinary it is for people to fly.
Ay, you’re related to my SiL in this. We used to joke that if my brother had been an Iberia pilot, she’d be able to fly anywhere - so long as he was piloting. She’s gotten better recently; her father’s illness and the kid are two huge things that she can’t control and which will go wherever they go whenever they go; once she accepted that “there are parts of my life I can not control and that’s all right,” she became able to ride on a bus for one hour without jumping up and down the whole time, emptying her handbag to look for something that yes, was there, calling her husband to make sure she switched the lights off at home…
Funny thing is, if she trusts her driver, she’ll fall asleep.
The control problem will leave you when it does, if ever, but maybe knowing more about the steps of the flight will help you. A couple times someone sitting near me got real scared by a BUMP, CHNK and strong vibration from the belly of the plane until I explained about the train being pulled up (with pictures! I let them keep the napkin). Knowing what’s going on means that, while you can’t direct it, you can tell it’s going all right.
I’ve flown with people who had a phobia about flying to various degrees. One was a work-colleague, with whom I flew from Australia to New Zealand – I later heard that he’d failed to get on another flight because of his phobia. And another was my wife, who was worried to a lesser extent, and who now has flown on her own many times.
In both cases, it seemed that being with me (who has always been very relaxed about flying), and being able to talk with me about it, help them to fly in spite of their fears. So, for Mouse_Maven, just having Mouse-Spouse travelling with her, and being able to talk calmly about everything, may be all that’s needed.
Hi Mouse!
I hate flying too! I feel for me the window seat is bad and I find the isle is better. Do sit in front of the wing, maybe do bring a CD player and play your fav. music. Do you have a portable DVD player? Everyone elses idea’s sound good. Since you can’t dope up on knock out drugs which I have to have myself. I listen to music myself. It’s not so much the flying part for me, it is the taking off and landing I hate. Relax and have a wonderful vacation with Mouse_Spouse and leave all the BS behind.
I think the OP’s concern about such drugs in the first trimester may be warranted.
As for the OP: I don’t know about you, but I find that I prefer knowing more, not less, about a situation that worries me. You might like to read the book “Ask The Pilot” which is a compilation of Patrick Smith’s very readable columns from Salon.com. He covers all kinds of topics, including whether turbulence is really dangerous or which planes are “safest,” as well as a lot of more lighthearted issues such as who has the best paint job for their planes. Some of the information about flight safety and the integrity of aircraft might explode a lot of your own myths about the dengers of air travel.
Why do I have this image of the back half of the plane flexing back and forth and up and down while the front half flies serenely forward? The fuselage is fixed so why would the back be bumpier than the front?
There really isn’t much difference, front vs back. The key point is that the plane rotates on an axis at where the wings join the body, so you’ll feel less motion if you sit over the wing.
With regards to the perceived dangers and risks, I’m more comfortable flying than driving. In an airplane, you’re in a vehicle that gets inspected frequently, controlled by someone who’s had years of training and certification, vs crazy drivers on the freeway who don’t know what turn signals are and are driving tatty old cars with bits falling off.
