Age difference in relationships: rule of thumb?

[UntouchedTakeaway]

@brianmelendez

I have occasionally heard a rule of thumb about age differences in relationships: that a man shouldn’t date a woman who isn’t at least seven years older than half his age. I just mentioned this “rule” to a friend who had never heard it, and she wondered where it came from. I have heard it more than once (and vaguely remember some source, not necessarily a credible one as I recall, attributing it to Gandhi), but I don’t really know where it came from. Does anyone here know?

I also thought that I saw a thread on this topic about a year ago, but couldn’t find it when I searched.

Thanks!

My personal rule: If I could have potentially given birth to you, I don’t want you in my bed. I’m 44 now; assuming I could start giving birth @ 15 (the year I got my period - I know, I know, TMI) - 29 is my bottom line this year.

VCNJ~

[brianmelendez]

@xash

Moved to IMHO.

-xash
General Questions Moderator

With all due respect, xash, I posted this thread in GQ because I am looking for the factual answer to my question about this alleged rule’s source. I was not asking what the rule should be, and I was certainly not interested in a poll about Dopers’ experiences with May-December romances. While several posters have ignored the OP and volunteered their own experiences and opinions, those posts are mini-hijacks. A few posters – Padeye, Snakescatlady, Maastricht, and Irishgirl – have actually furnished factual information responsive to the OP, although nobody has come up with a definitive answer. Moving the thread to IMHO practically ensures that the thread will consist entirely of hijacks and that the OP won’t get answered.

[Czarcasm]

@brianmelendez

With all due respect, xash, I posted this thread in GQ because I am looking for the factual answer to my question about this alleged rule’s source. I was not asking what the rule should be, and I was certainly not interested in a poll about Dopers’ experiences with May-December romances. While several posters have ignored the OP and volunteered their own experiences and opinions, those posts are mini-hijacks. A few posters – Padeye, Snakescatlady, Maastricht, and Irishgirl – have actually furnished factual information responsive to the OP, although nobody has come up with a definitive answer. Moving the thread to IMHO practically ensures that the thread will consist entirely of hijacks and that the OP won’t get answered.

I agree, and will move this thread back to General Questions.
People, brianmelendez is not conducting a poll, and he doesn’t want your personal opinions or your experiences. All he is looking for is the origin of the source of this rule.

[John_Carter_of_Mars]

Well, Dude, you sure fooled the hell out of me with the following part of your OP:

@brianmelendez

I also thought that I saw a thread on this topic about a year ago, but couldn’t find it when I searched.

Thanks!

I could have sworn you wanted to read that thread. So I posted what I remembered about it, and ultrafilter was nice enough to do the search for you. For our troubles, we get accused of hijacking your thread.

Not to worry, though. I’ll make sure I never try to help you again.

[brianmelendez]

@John Carter of Mars

Well, Dude, you sure fooled the hell out of me with the following part of your OP:

I could have sworn you wanted to read that thread. So I posted what I remembered about it, and ultrafilter was nice enough to do the search for you. For our troubles, we get accused of hijacking your thread.

Not to worry, though. I’ll make sure I never try to help you again.

The thread that you found was not the one that I was referring to. I did find that thread when I searched. The thread that I recall concerned the origin of the half-plus-seven rule.

And my reference to hijacks was to “several posters have ignored the OP and volunteered their own experiences and opinions.” I don’t see how you think that it referred to you or to ultrafilter, since neither of you volunteered your own experiences or opinions. And I do appreciate the effort.

[samclem]

There was a humorist named Max O’Rell [real name=Paul Blouet] who traveled the lecture circuit in the US and Europe between 1890 and 1900. I can find a column in the Atlanta Constitution from June 12, 1900 written about his advice. O’Rell was on a lecture tour throughout the South of the US. He had a lecture entitled “Advice to the man who wants to marry.” (This may not be the exact title)

Snippets from his advice:

When you are dead, once said a cynic, it’s for a long time, but when you are married, it’s forever.

I heard the other day a very good piece of advice, which I should like to repeat here, as I endorse it thoroughly: A man should marry a woman half his age, plus seven.

So, as popular a speaker as this guy was, he probably was the vector for this advice. I can’t find it in my newspaper databases before this. He DOES say he heard that advice, so his source could have been someone else.

I’ll look some more.