Ah, of course. I should have recognised it immediately!! LONG

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I got up early this morning, stumbled downstairs in my ratty old dressing-gown and slippers, blindly plugged the kettle in then wandered into the loungeroom to pull open the blinds to greet the day. Ughhh. I hate having to get up to go to work on Sunday mornings.

As the light came through to illuminate the room, I saw a crumpled pile of clothes on the couch that moved and grunted a bit when I poked them. The bits of cloth dispersed to reveal a face that I had not ever had the pleasure of being introduced to, but I presumed it must have been a friend of someone here.

Hearing the kettle getting all hot and bothered, and a good strong cuppa being desperately needed before embarking on enquiries as to who this person was, and why he was asleep on my couch, I went back into the kitchen. Asher followed me in.

He looked much like those National Geo pictures of the Wild Man of Borneo, only wearing clothes. His hair was grossly dishevelled, his eyes were wide and bulging, and he had a big, fat, cheesy grin from ear to ear.

“Hey, maaaaan, sorry I scared you. Oh, wow. Oh, just wow. Hehehehehehehe”, he said.

“No worries dude, who are you?”

“I’m Asher, and, oh wow. Hehehehehehe. I dunno how long I have been asleep for, it’s been months now I think. Hehehehehe. Wow. Hey, would you like a cigarette?”

“No thanks Asher, I’ve got some”.

“Oh, cool, wow, can I have one of yours then?”

I eventually made my coffee, offered Asher one which he gulped down, and sat down to talk to this crazy hippie flashback from the early 70’s. After much Wowing and Cooling, I ascertained that he was a friend of my nephew who is here for a couple of days before going home to Perth. I also found out that Asher has been here for the whole time, but our paths just hadn’t crossed until then. I also discovered that Asher was totally ripped out of his tiny fey mind on some very potent psychotropic drugs, either that or his brain had fried a long-time ago and this was the permanent result.

My time for leaving to work was nearing, so I bundled myself into the shower, got dressed, dried my hair and made another coffee. I noticed Asher fiddling with a gizmo in his hands.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“Oh, it’s a circuit tester, y’know for measuring currents and stuff.”

“Okie-dokie, cool” I replied.

“But this one’s a bit special. I’ve taken out the insides, and I put a cigarette filter wrapped in aluminium foil…and now, its a Karma conduit…y’know, if I touch myself, and I’ve got really good karma happening ya know, then touch someone who needs some, the energy converts through the conduit to…”

At this point, my coffee got redirected through my nose and out in a magnificent spray onto the (just mopped yesterday) floor.

I’ve gotta say, he looked a little hurt by my display of scepticism. And I felt bad for making him feel bad, so I apologised for my lack of couth.

“Hey, no worries lady. Everybody says I’m a little bit out-there”

:smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

2

So, what did your chart look like?

3

I gave him coffee and a cigarette so my karma is good, at least until my next transgression I guess.

:stuck_out_tongue:

4

You people ‘plug in’ your kettle? Crikey!

5

I daren’t ask what you lot do with yours then. :stuck_out_tongue:

We have that new-fangled stuff called electricity in Australia…saves having to go out and find some twigs and gumleaves to boil the billy.

Mind you, billy tea is much nicer than normal tea-bag in a cup and water from the kettle thing. If I got out and boiled a billy in the backyard on the barby, it’d prolly add to my Karma Account too, yes?

:wink:

6

I have no idea what you just said, but it sounds good for your karma! :slight_smile:

When I think of kettle I think of a tea kettle you put on the stove burner to heat up. We do have electric coffee makers you plug in. Is that what you mean by “kettle?”

7

We have both. A kettle is either a tin contraption that you put on the stove-burner or gas-range to boil, or, as in most Australian households nowadays (I’d suspect) it is a plastic jug that holds around 2 litres of water that boils up from an electric element in the base of the jug. Thus you plug it in.

Our coffee makers are either the plug in kind, or the old percolaters that you sit on top of the stove-burner.

Sorry to confuse you. I think I need another coffee. :smiley:

8

An electric kettle. Whoda thunk? I bet if I looked around, we probably have a similar contraption, but I don’t think they’re common. Of course someone from Kansas is probably going to pop in and say, “oh yeah! We use 'em all the time!”

9

Classic OP, kam. :smiley: I don’t often literally laugh out loud on the Dope these days.
Aah, my poor deprived American cousins, an electric kettle is just that. An electric kettle. It just heats water, and what you do with the water after that is your business. Mine normally heads straight for the teapot or the coffee plunger.

Now, the reason I call you ‘deprived’ :smiley: is that we had a thread on this very topic some years ago here. There was massive culture shock all around. Some of the Americans that do have electric kettles (or electric jugs, as they’re often known here) complained they are too slow. So this thread had dopers all over the globe boiling water against a stopwatch and reporting back. It turns out that your 110 volt system isn’t much good for electric kettles, and the traditional stove-top kettle is the faster opntion. On the other hand, nobody seems to use traditional kettles here, and I found out why when I bought one just for fun, and found it slow as hell, even on a powerful gas range. The 240v electric unit is pretty quick.

levdrakon, a ‘billy’ is a traditional campfire vessel for boiling water, making tea, etc. You can buy them in camping stores, but a proper billy should be an old large-sized treacle can with a coathanger handle. You jam it in the fire somewhere, or hang it off a stick, which is also used to pull it out of the fire. I’m sure the US has these, maybe by a different name. Billy tea always tastes better than normal tea. Some say it’s because of the eucalyptus smoke, but I tend to think it just tastes better in the same way that cocoa tastes better if you’re in a ski lodge.

10

Electric kettles- it means you have one more ring free on your hob to cook, they’re quicker to boil (provided you have proper electrical voltage) and they’re safer with kids around.
kambuckta- did you ever find out why he and your nephew are friends? That might be a good story…

11

Well, Mick and Nick spent their early childhood here in Melbourne, then the family moved to Northern NSW (to a commune) then to South Australia, then back here to Melbourne about 10 years ago. From there, the mum and dad moved down to Tasmania, so Nick and Mick stayed in Melbourne, and Mick moved in here for a bit, then moved out, then Nick moved in and he’s still here.

Do you really want the rest of the story? :smiley:

Well, you asked for it!! Mick (from WA) has gone all precious and doesn’t smoke or drink or even take any caffeine. But he DOES do some major drugs…because, like, they’re natural and all!!

And I’m guessing that Asher (the bloke I found on my couch) is his mate because they both like to challenge their notions of reality. :smiley:

12

My electric kettle in its native habitat, ten minutes ago

Exciting stuff…

13

Oh, you’ve got a cordless then?

And I guess you reckon yer’ better than us hoi-polloi who still plug it in.

Wanker. :smiley:

14

It doesn’t take much looking, you get them at Wal-Mart or Target. I’ve got both a standard and electric kettle, and the electric does seem to bring the water to boiling faster.

15

Y’all are scaring me, what with your new fangledness, and all.

16

No, no, NO…you are meant to be talking about Karma Conduits, not bloody kettles.

Get it right peoples!!

:stuck_out_tongue:

17

'sorrite. If it’s any better I grew up with the old ceramic ones where the water was live to mains power, and the lid was designed to not open if it was plugged in, but of course the lid was flimsy plastic and usually broke off… :eek:

I think they must be illegal now…

18

Check out any oppo and you’ll find HEAPS of those old jugs. Pale cream in colour with a big black cord connector, yes?

19

Forgot to add, the lids on the good ones were made of Bakelite, so they wouldn’t be likely to break or snap, even after a nuclear attack.

So, come the holocaust, you could still sit down with a nice cuppa tea!!

:smiley:

20

That’s the ones! I should get one, but I dunno if you can still buy the elements for them. Remember how they used to break, and you’d unskrew the element, twist the wire together and then replace it? The element would get shorter and shorter, and the jug would get slower and slower until you eventually bought a new element.

Eh, they’ve gone the way of kerosene heaters, suburban trains with wide open doors at 80kmh, cars that were seat belt-optional, fireworks… It’s a wonder any of us survived - but it was fun.