Ah, the devious inner workings of the Criminal Mind

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

http://www.greenvilleonline.com/news/2002/11/19/2002111931890.htm

First of all, I am not making light of the crime (a murder) described in the article linked above. I am just trying to figure out how in the world the suspect concluded that his actions following the crime constituted a sound game plan. The facts:

  1. Suspect murders victim with a hammer
  2. Suspect wraps body of victim in an air mattress
  3. Suspect proceeds to drag body from the crime scene (an apartment complex) and take it across Pelham Road (a very heavily traveled road, even at 3:30 AM)
  4. Witnesses see suspect struggling with the “bundle” as he crosses Pelham Road; stop and ask if suspect needs assistance (he declines, witnesses move on)
  5. After crossing Pelham Road, suspect dumps body under a house on trailer at a construction site
  6. Sensing something fishy, witnesses return to area and discover the body
  7. Police called to scene; crack team of investigators follow trail of blood (left by victim’s body as it was dragged) across the road, into the apartment complex, and RIGHT UP TO THE SUSPECT’S FRONT DOOR!

Any of you defense attorneys out there care to take on this one (pro bono, of course)?

Anybody else have a Stupid Criminal Story they would like to share?

2

Three guys I went to high school with in my small, rural East Tennessee hometown steal a boat. Now, it’s a very rural area. If you’re going to steal a boat, why not take it out in the middle of nowhere (there’s lots of that around there), leave it for six or seven months until it’s forgotten about, and presto! You’ve got boat! Well, no. They didn’t do that. Instead, they decide to park the boat (which is, of course, on its trailer) behind the Ponderosa restaurant where they all work. As you can imagine, the Ponderosa is one of the most popular restaurants in town, probably because it’s located at the corner of the town’s two busiest streets. Hide in plain sight, you say.

Well, it almost worked. For two weeks, the police look and look and look for the stolen boat, despite the fact that it’s in plain view right in the middle of town. Then the owner of the boat is dining at the Ponderosa and notices his missing boat parked out back. He calls the police, who send a man in blue to the Ponderosa. The cop goes back into the kitchen and says “Hey, whose boat is that parked out back?”

One of the theives says “Mine!”

Cop says “You’re under arrest!”

The kicker: the thief’s name was Bubba.