Misogyny??? Really? I would love to hear this explanation. Nobody is criticizing her reaction because she is a woman. Only her defenders are using her fragile womanhood as a defense to her not reacting earlier, knowing nothing at all about her background, but making the stereotypical assumption that she must have been abused previously simply because she is a woman and cannot be expected to act as a reasonable person.
That, to me, is far more dismissive of women than anything Archie Bunker might have said.
I’m impressed by the depth of commitment to victim-blaming here. “It’s all her fault this guy did this, because she didn’t make a scene and risk being booted off the flight herself for disruptive behavior!”
Nobody, including me said to make a scene such that one would get booted off a flight. Are women not capable of telling a flight attendant that the guy in the seat next to her is masturbating and that she is not comfortable with that? Can she do so in a way that doesn’t get her booted off the flight?
Again, the arguments here are worse than anything my elder male relatives ever said about women. Women ARE capable of presenting a cogent complaint when appropriate.
Says the guy, a lawyer, of all people, who actually questions WHY this man would be arrested. Seriously – I cannot believe anyone would need to ask this.
For the record, I didn’t intend to participate in the thread because I 1) didn’t find the situation particularly funny 2) didn’t think there was enough material in the article to talk about OTHER than to make jokes and 3) other people were making the needed points about finding a way to respond -safely- in such a situation.
I did though want to add that in the last few years, where we’ve read in the news at LEAST weekly about some nutjob (okay, sorry, that was beneath me) trying to open a plane in midflight, getting violent with staff, or otherwise going totally looney tunes, that the female neighbor to the accused probably picked the best of all possible worlds.
If she had chosen to confront him directly, while the act/s were going on, it could easily have escalated. Getting evidence, providing it to the staff, and then leaving it in their hands once the staff was prepared? Probably the best possible solution, especially if the creep had violent tendencies.
Physical safety in light of recent events was a very real concern, leaving out the already well-discussed issues of social conditioning and possible freezing. And speaking as a guy, in today’s charged flight situations I personally WOULDN’T have directly confronted them for fear of getting my teeth broken if the guy flipped out. I would probably have taken similar measures and gotten the hell away from the freak ASAP.
I didn’t go back through the post to check my recollection, but would you please point out anyone who said “It’s all her fault”? No. When you say exaggerated unfounded shit like this, it just makes it easier for folk to dismiss people who advance similar arguments as yours. As best I can recall - EVERYONE has said that the masturbator was wholly in the wrong, and that his behavior was outrageous, bizarre, unjustifiable…
But several of us also observe that the woman’s behavior is ALSO bizarre. No - nowhere in the class of the guy’s. But bizarre enough to be legitimately worthy of comment.
Who seriously thinks that a woman would risk being thrown off a flight for pressing the call button and calling attention to the asshole with his dick out and in his hands? If such a thing happened, I’d hope she had her phone video rolling, because any money worries she might have had for the rest of her life would certainly be taken care of in short order.
I admit that there are countless aspects of being a woman that I am ignorant of. So someone please educate me as to how it happens that what sort of adult woman feels that she has to sit through not 1, not 2, not 3 - BUT 4! masturbation sessions on a plane and wait till the beat-off falls asleep before she inquires whether anyone else thinks something might be amiss?
Years ago I was walking down an alley towards my apartment when a car pulled up beside me and the passenger window rolled down a crack. The driver was the only person in the car and he had on a baseball cap pulled down low and dark glasses. He said to me through the window crack “want a ride?”. I’ve never felt anything like I did that second and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that he meant to harm me. My who body recoiled and I said “no!” and started walking faster. He eventually drove away. I was walking back from the store, dressed like a normal person in pants and a shirt. There was no mistaking me for a prostitute, it wasn’t raining and I wasn’t carrying a bunch of heavy items and was obviously not in need of a ride.
I didn’t tell anybody about that for years. I was mortified and ashamed. Why? I have no idea. To this day I can’t explain it but I kept it to myself. That’s something that many women do. You just keep quiet and feel like somehow it’s your fault.
Maybe this lady felt embarrassed and ashamed so she just kept quiet until she finally got the courage to get up and ask for help.
I don’t know what I would have done in her situation. Maybe I’d just freeze and hope he stopped. I’m pretty sure that if the guy had touched me, I would have reacted because one time on the bus a man put his hand on the small of my back and I said “don’t touch me”.
There used to be an annual -maybe there still is - conference of some sort in Madison. There would be tons of drunk men roaming the State Street area hitting on females. We learned not to complain about them because we’d get jeered at by male co-workers, friends, fellow students, etc. They don’t mean anything! Take it as a compliment! They wouldn’t hurt you!
There are several issues in this thread, including a broken quote (pointing to the wrong poster.) I plan to review the thread tomorrow morning (Eastern Time) and I’m closing the thread until i get a chance to do that.