Four times? I swear, some people just don’t understand the rules.
“First, shalt thy take out thy holy pin…”
GREAT topic for your screen name!
Now, about the actual incident…
After his initial incident, the pilot should have requested emergency landing, and handed the guy to local authorities. Obviously, he’s got problems. He could even be in the early stages of dementia.
I’d recommend putting his name on the no-fly list that the airlines swear they don’t have.
~VOW
Do the regulations allow me to masturbate in flight a mere three times?*
*That would be a week long flight…just saying.
Airline passenger: the man next to me is masturbating
Flight Attendant: just ignore him
Airline passenger: he’s using my hand!
Five is right out.
Four times? How many times does a guy need to masturbate before she requests a different seat? Jeez.
Need room to stretch out?
Was someone assigned to watch him. . . and count? Ewwww!
Great OP user name and topic!
A man on a Southwest Airlines flight faces federal charges after allegedly masturbating at least four times during the flight.
“At least”!? Um, why’d the passenger in the next seat allow it to go the first time, never mind another three?
I like this part in the article…(heh-heh)
The woman took photos.
Awright.
The FBI interviewed him and says he didn’t think the female passenger was uncomfortable with him masturbating and he thought “it was kind of kinky.”
Well, in his defense, he has a point (heh-heh), if she allowed it to occur “at least” 4 times, and took photos.
In all seriousness, why during masturbation sessions 1-3 did someone not tell the dude to stop? Why just keep watching? And why was the fourth time just way too much? I’m okay with 1…2…3…but 4…dammit, I’m telling the stewardess now and having you arrested!!!
I would love to see the federal charge here. Excessive masturbation affecting interstate commerce?
Just checked Southwest’s website. That’s a 2 hour 50 minute flight. He had time to get off and recharge 4 times, and then fall asleep, in less than 3 hours.
the Complaint is linked in the article.
Right? Give the dude a medal instead of cuffs.
If he were my seat neighbor, I’d like to think I would tell him, “It’s time to put your little toys away. Save it for the taxi driver, or the hotel desk manager.”
~VOW
The guy might be a lawyer and say that the sign says to keep seatbelts on and no smoking or vaping, but you can’t find a masturbation regulation anywhere.
Heckuva refractory period!
What a Rube Goldberg contraption of a law. Anywhere in the country if you commit a lewd act from the standard of a Washington D.C. law you can be punished. Seems forced. What’s the commerce clause hook here? Nobody will fly if there are conflicting jerking off laws between states?
Well, what’s the limit then?
I am no pilot, but AIUI, diverting a flight is considered a last resort. You don’t put 100-200 people at a huge inconvenience, cost the airline a million dollars, and throw all sorts of scheduling in wack unless it’s for a life-threatening emergency.