Airplane seating question

In My Humble Opinion
1

A friend just emailed me a question, thinking because I used to work with autistic people, I might know a workaround. I have no experience with flying with them, though. I told her to call the airline tomorrow, and lay out all the details, and if she doesn’t get a satisfactory answer, go on to the next cheapest airline, and work her way up until she gets the answer she needs.

She needs to fly next summer with her autistic son. He is pretty low-functioning, has very little language, and even though he’s easy-going, and not prone to tantrums, he has not flown since he was a lap baby. He probably will not do well if he is not seated next to his mother. She thinks that a middle seat for her, and either a window or aisle seat for him is the best way to go. She has no problem paying extra for a guaranteed seat, but she is not by any means wealthy, so while she can pay $50 or 60, if the guaranteed seats are more like $150, it may not be an option.

She asked me if it’s an ADA issue. I said I doubt that it is, because that is mostly about employment, but there are other laws that protect disabled people, so there may be something she can invoke when discussing thing with the airline.

She doesn’t mind a crappy seat in the back next to the toilet, or some other undesirable seat in order to be able to sit with her son.

The problem, as most people who have flown lately, know, is that choosing seats ahead of time does not guarantee then, and you can be reassigned at the gate. Would a combination of booking early and choosing seats, combined with arriving at the gate early to make sure you get assigned the seats you chose be effective? Having her son right there to drive home the point that they don’t want him sitting with two strangers will probably help.

But that was the best I could do Anyone have a better idea? Actual experience?

2

She should be fine if she approaches the gate agent as soon as they arrive there and explains the situation. I’ve been separated from my daughter (after choosing adjoining seats when booking) twice in years of airline travel, and in both cases, the agents were able to shuffle things around (once putting us in First Class!) so we could sit next to one another.

3

Moderator Action

Since this is looking for ideas and personal experiences, let’s move it to IMHO (from GQ).

Also, typo in thread title fixed.

4

By all means book early and get to the gate early. Even if booking early and getting to the gate early don’t help, and your friend and her son are seated separately, she should just notify the cabin attendant when they get on the plane and the cabin attendant will see if one of the people sitting next to her son (or her) will switch seats.

In the case of most people, they will be nice and switch when they see the situation because that is what normal adults do. If they are a selfish jerk, they will switch because they won’t want to be sitting next to her son during the flight and have to deal with him if he has a problem.

This is one potential problem that she can safely not worry about ahead of time.

5

The main thing she should do is book both tickets together, so that the airline knows they are travelling together. I once had an experience, travelling with my wife, with one of us being re-routed onto different planes, even though we’d initially booked the same itinerary. We were travelling from Sydney (SYD) to Columbus (CMH), so there’s a wide choice of routes. We even entered the US through different airports: one through LAX, the other through SFO. We were both scheduled to arrive at CMH at about 11 pm, but after I got there I could see that her plane was delayed, and she didn’t get there until the following morning. I don’t know why one of our routes was changed, and the other wasn’t, but the airlines didn’t know we were travelling together because we had separate tickets. So, I emphasise, if you want to travel together, book together.

6

Don’t book online. Speak to an agent and explain the situation. It sounds like she is planning on doing this, but it is really important that the agent notes the tickets and binds the records. Since her son is low functioning, I think it is just fine to say “my son is handicapped/severely disabled and I will be traveling with him as his caregiver. We must be seated together.”

I don’t know how far they are traveling, but would the train be an option? I just took the train from Oregon to California and was impressed with their handicapped facilities.

7

My sister, the mother of an autistic son, arranged to go on a trip with him last year. She was able to find a class to enroll the two of them in, so as to prepare him for the experience, and make it as easy as possible on them, the flight crew, and their fellow passengers.

If you’d send me a PM, I’d be happy to ask her how to connect your friend to some resources. Relevant information may include your friend’s region, and how high-functioning her son is. In fact, I’ll message her now, and ask her a few preliminary questions.

8

Most airlines have the option of choosing your seats for a little more. You can do it during the booking process. I think the only company I’ve flown with that didn’t give that option was Ryanair, and even those have priority boarding: you go in first, so you get to choose.

The only times I’ve ended up someplace else after picking a specific seat when I booked, it has been by choice (I offered to trade seats with someone else).

9

The major American carriers (except Southwest which doesn’t do assigned seating) still let you do it for free so long as you’re not selecting a “premium” seat. Non-premium seats can run out before the flight is full, though, in which case you get whatever is left when you check in.

Yes, I think so. Seat assignments almost always stay the same, and most people aren’t so finicky that they won’t be able to find someone to move.

10

Just telll the airline in advance that there is a special-needs passenger, and accommodations will be made at checkin. In fact, if you get to the checkin counter fairly early, before a majority of the seats are assigned, the airline will be sure to comply. Airlines are very accommodating about things like that, even at times overly solicitous.

I’m blind, I use a white cane, and I’ve flown about 25 sections in the past year or so. Airlines see me coming, they have special personnel to handle passengers with special needs, even goofy little cut-rate airlines in the third world.

11

I’ve been separated from a THREE year old on a flight. That three year old just jumped in her car to go to school - so it was a while ago - but I would not assume anything. Talk to a booking agent rather than just booking the cheapest online fare.

12

In addition to requiring reasonable accommodations for employees, ADA also requires businesses to make, at their own expense, reasonable accommodations for customers - thus the proliferation of handicapped parking spots, ramps, automatic doors, low drinking fountains, and wide bathroom stalls. ISTM that assuring adjacent seating for an autistic child and his caretaker meets the definition of a reasonable accommodation; the cost to the airline is minimal (just a little bit of logistical attention).

It would be undiplomatic for her to begin her request to the airline with a reference to ADA requirements, but it’s a fine ace card to keep in reserve just in case she happens to be faced with an ill-informed, uncooperative airline employee.

13

Yeah, as Machine Elf just covered, the ADA is not just employment and certainly covers autism. I think your friend will find most airlines will be more than accommodating. Just try to fly at non-peak times, when scheduling snafus are least likely to happen.

Here is an article that looks at several airlines and their policies relating to autism, it might be a little dated though

https://themighty.com/2015/05/best-airline-accomodations-for-people-with-autism/

14

Book the cheapest online fare, then phone the airline and tell them you are a special needs passenger. My guess is that they will assign your seats for you right then, no extra charge.

15

First, the odds of an airline splitting up a mother and a child – even a child without a disability – are basically zero. Even on a crowded flight, flight attendants will ask someone to switch seats, and someone always does… and if nobody would, they would make someone move.

Second, airlines have policies to help people with special needs. I’m not saying air travel is easy, but I think it’s fair to say that airlines do what they can not to make things harder either on travelers with special needs, or the travelers around them. For example:

https://www.united.com/web/en-US/content/travel/specialneeds/disabilities/default.aspx

http://www.delta.com/content/www/en_US/traveling-with-us/special-travel-needs.html

I would bet anything that just booking a low fare and calling the airline to explain the situation would have the whole issue taken care of in ten minutes.

ETA: Just to be clear, there’s no reason to pay extra for a particular seat during booking. Just buy a ticket and call the airline.

16

The magic words are “handicapped child” and “adult caregiver”. Use those when you book by phone and you’re going to get the best protection available. Which may not be foolproof, but is as good as it gets. Ask the agent to annotate your booking that way.

There are dedicated computer codes for all those things and we see them on the special passenger list we get for every single flight. Along with armed, prisoner, deaf, blind, child, unaccompanied child, No English, specific other language, special meals, member of large group, wheelchair, aisle chair, oxygen needed, etc. Etc. Etc. All this info is provided to the gate agents, the flight attendants, and even the pilots(!). At least at my mainstream carrier. Provided you tell the airline about it ahead of time.

Likewise when you get to the gate, speak to the agent and use the same magic words.

And don’t book on the cheapest half-assed airline you’ve never heard of. Despite the bleatings of some know-nothings, there is a difference, and it’s most pronounced at the very low end.

17

We fly to Orlando to go to Disney a lot. That “basically zero” happens on almost every trip.

There are simply too many small kids and families on those flights (tourist flights to Orlando, usually on a Saturday morning - and tourist flights from Orlando - usually on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon) to juggle the puzzle successfully and get all the pieces to fit. We’ve left families at the gate with exit row seats available.

But I would think calling the airline with the magic words would keep it from happening. But it doesn’t always work by default just because you have kids.

18

The trick is to buy your tickets early. And to arrive at the airport early and inform them of your situation.

I have long legs/feet and always pick an aisle seat so I can stick my legs out. Sometimes another person who does not know how to plan ahead will ask me to move so they can sit next to their boyfriend, girlfriend, etc. I say “Lack of planning on your part does not justify an emergency on my part!”

19

This. Orlando is a truly special case where all bets are off for non-handicapped kids. The good news is AFAIK there are no other destinations in the US with anywhere near that big a too-many-kids problem.

The other advice for the OP’s friend is that all bets are off if she is traveling over the Thanksgiving holiday, Christmas, or New Years. Those are truly insane days for travel. Only a clueless, bordering on negligent, parent would bring a child with behavioral challenges to a crazy place like an overcrowded airport on those days.

Even on those days we can (almost certainly) “reasonably accommodate” them with seats together. What we can’t do is reduce the noise, the hordes, the lines for food and bathrooms and security and boarding and … to ease the burden on the easily-upsettable kid. He will be densely surrounded by amateur travelers, other tired and cranky children crying, constantly blaring PAs, etc.

20

The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) is not the primary law with respect to people with disabilities flying aboard commercial aircraft. You want the Air Carrier Access Act of 1986.
[ul]
[li]https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Air_Carrier_Access_Act[/li][li]http://www.disabilitytravel.com/airlines/air_carrier_act.htm[/li][/ul]

Start by reading the airline website you plan to fly. Each carrier is supposed to have online information on how they serve people with disabilities. Then contact the airline by phone and talk with them. Attempt to find their disability coordinator, if they have one. Make sure you get names and contact details. In other words, work with the airline ahead of time, including obtaining your tickets with a human and not just via the website.

Whatever you do, don’t just show up at the airport the day you fly unannounced. It is your right to do so, but you risk being challenged by someone who just doesn’t know the rules. Also, if you run into difficulty at the departure airport by arriving unannounced, you risk an ignorant backlash from other passengers. That could make things quite uncomfortable all around, and end up being illegally denied boarding just to placate other ignorant travelers.