Children on aircraft

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

One of the great questions of our times. If they can separate the first class passengers at the front of the plane from the teeming millions with a curtain, why can’t they do the same thing at the back for children? Practically every time I fly I seem to end up in the same row as a squalling infant, or seated in front of a hyperactive 4 year old would be soccer star who keeps kicking the back of my seat. This problem is especially pronounced around holidays when parents of the squaller/soccer star are dragging the little bundle of joy off to show the grandparents.

Wouldn’t it make more sense to confine the parents and their spawn to the back of the plane, separate them with a curtain from the rest of us and allow us to suffer the cramped seating and heat with a little less noise?

I remember that the Catholic churches of my youth (I got over it) were bright enough to do this, they had a separate crying room so that the children wouldn’t disturb everyone else, why can’t airlines pick up this idea?

2

It’s all part of the conspiracy to encourage travel by First Class. I traveled over 100,000 miles this year and last, and I have some suggestions for more comfortable travel.

Get to the airport early, and ask for an exit row. They don’t put kids in exit rows. They seem to put kids at the back of the plane, so at least try to get away from there.

If you see a young child come on board that looks like it has a cold (flushed, sniffling, etc.), bring this to the attention of the flight attendant. Ask them to be sure to let the engineer know that there is a child with possible ear congestion on board. The air pressure will be watched much more carefully, avoiding rapid, ear-popping changes that can hurt small ears. Many children start crying on descent, and it took me a while to figure out why. Note: If you do this, they may interrogate the parent about the childs health, and prevent them getting on board without a doctor’s permission. Bonus!

Try to be among the first on board. This allows you to open all the air vents in your row, and as many as possible around you. Point them away from people, so they’ll stay open. Point the ones you can (usually at least two) at you. There is only so much fresh air available on airplanes, be sure and get your share. Grab a blanket, all that air may make it cold. Cold is good – cold is fresh. Warm is stale.

If a child is bothering you, there’s nothing like bringing it to the attention of the flight attendants. I’ve seen people bumped to First because they made a concise, sympathetic argument against a seatmate/other passenger. A young lady was moved (to First) away from a creepy, middle-aged guy who wouldn’t leave her alone, and a man moved forward to a bulkhead seat, away from an annoying kid who kept kicking his seat. The flight attendants want to keep everyone quiet and out of the way – let them help you.

3

wow

I only want to travel with you from now on!

Thats some excellent info!

4

After the hundreds of flights I’ve been on, I cannot believe I never made this mental connection. Good idea!

5

I fly with my daughter frequently (she’ll be 2 next month) and I always try to fly first class. It makes it easier to get on and off and there’s more room…so don’t assume that you’re immune from children if you’re in first.

I also try to fly red-eyes because she’ll sleep the whole time.

Danalan is right about the exit rows, the airlines won’t allow children to sit in exit rows or the rows immediately in front of or behind them, so those will be child free.

Children also can’t sit in an aisle seat. (It has something to do with not blocking people in with a big car seat in the event of an emergency, but I imagine there’s some liability in beverage cart injuries and little broken limbs.) Hence, if you request a window seat, you’re more likely to be sitting in front of a kicker.

As for kicking, I always take my daughter’s shoes off, one good crack on her toes and she stops.

If an older child is kicking your seat, don’t hesitate to turn around and ask the child to (politely) stop kicking you. Everyone knows that children always behave better for anyone other than their parents.

6

Exit rows rule! I’m very long-legged so that extra room makes the difference between misery and relatively comfortable travel.

I feel for kids and parents, really do, but there’s a difference between bored child and total hellion. (Babies can’t help crying; they don’t count. What else are they supposed to do, compose a manifesto of complaints?) But out of control toddlers and up are sumpin’ else. They may be bored, wound up, overtired or whatever–it’s not carte blanche to turn the airplane into a playground.

Everybody has horror stories, but seat-kicking, aisle-crawling, cracker-throwing, whining, screaming excess is out of bounds. Airlines don’t make it easy; heck, I’m bored and twitchy and I’m adult. But letting kids run amok isn’t the answer.

Veb

7

They really need a nursery section on commercial flights. I’m usually a patient person, but when the future soccer star starts with the kicking, or the baby with the ear infection starts screaming, I can’t deal.

I’m a big person (6’4", over 250 lbs.) and it’s bad enough that the seats can barely contain me. I’ve got a bad knee that aches on long flights. When you couple that with the screaming kids and the flight attendent’s inability to keep me properly liquored up, I get really irritable.

8

I’m still holding out for a separate section (and am exercising unusual self-restraint and not pointing out that the baggage compartment is pressurized… and if you can put the family dog into it…)

I think the flight attendants have enough to do without rearranging seating en route… seat all the kids and parents near the tail, and curtain them off.

9

Why should we get the crappy seating?

Maybe they should have an “Assholes Only” section too, seat THEM near the toilets.

You’re lucky I’m using unusual self-restraint in ignoring your comment implying what is good for the family dog is good for a child.

10

If it’d mean those of us who have chosen to have children but do not believe that we’ve thereby relinquished the option of traveling by air wouldn’t have to put up with bitchiness, rudeness, and snideness from smug, self-satisfied fellow travelers who seem to think that the sole reason we had kids was to impinge on their God-given right to utter silence during the flight, then I’m all for it. Seriously. While they’re at it they could put seats in there into which you can actually buckle a car seat (or better yet, make all the window seats child seats with appropriate restraints built in). Prevent the seats from reclining so my kid’s feet and ankles don’t get crushed between his car seat and the seat in front when some yutz decides he has to recline. And no caustic comments made in a stage whisper that I’m obviously intended to overhear – that’s for me.

I’ve flown hundreds of times without kids, and probably 25 or 30 individual flights (each takeoff and landing counted as a flight) with one or both of my kids (the oldest now being nearly four). I’m almost fanatically polite myself when it comes to not inconveniencing other flyers; I won’t recline my seat if there’s anyone sitting behind me, because I hate having someone else’s (well, my wife excepted) head in my lap. I check to see what type of equipment the airline’s using for each segment of my trip and pack carryon baggage accordingly (some planes have more space than others). I go out of my way to ensure that I do not inadvertently inconvenience or annoy other people, despite the fact that most other flyers seem not to give a rat’s ass about those around them.

Now imagine what it’s like for me to fly with two very small children: I have to schlep a car seat that’s almost too big to fit through the aisle all the way back to our seats, being careful not to ram it into anyone or club anyone on the head with it as I go. I have to struggle to buckle it into the seat, a process that is nearly impossible to complete quickly because of the incredibly tight clearance between the sides of the seat and the wall of the plane on one side (you put them in the window seat for the reasons mentioned earlier) – all the while, unless you’re at the back of the plane, other people may well be waiting to get by you. Meanwhile, my wife’s dealing with the rest of our carryon stuff as well as two kids, who may be anything from overexcited to downright surly to nearly asleep, depending on the circumstances. We do our best to get them secured in their seats, keep them quiet and occupied until they drop off to sleep (if they do), and to prevent them from disrupting others if they don’t. We also have the usual complement of other travel-related worries and anxieties. The whole time, my blood pressure is up because I really don’t want anyone else’s peace and quiet and comfort impinged on. But you know something – kids are human beings, and they’re individuals. You can’t always predict in advance what they’re going to do, and you can’t just take the batteries out if they start malfunctioning. If you’re on a flight with me and my kids are disturbing you, you can be damn sure I’m doing everything I possibly can to put an end to the disturbance as quickly as possible. Your snide looks and comments aren’t going to do anything but ratchet my anxiety up another couple of notches, and that’s almost certainly going to be picked up on by my kids and make it even more difficult to restore order. You know what’s most likely to help matters out? Make some human gesture acknowledging that you understand the difficulty of dealing with kids and that you’re sympathetic. Fake it for all you’re worth if you have to, but give me a little room to work and take the pressure off a bit and I’ll probably be able to get things back in order. Hell, you could even say something friendly to the kid and you might distract them from whatever they were doing (or cow them into submission as they go shy on you). Ride me, and I may decide you ought to get a taste of what they can really do.

You know, I really try to be sympathetic and all, but if you substituted the name of just about any ethnic or racial group as the object of the verb “confine” in that sentence, most people here would be outraged. Because it’s parents, however, and because everyone knows how horrible all parents are and that children are evil, it’s OK. Your subsequent comments in this thread are in the same vein. Call me over-sensitive if you like, but I don’t see why I as a parent have to put up with that kind of crap any more than you should have to put up with some toddler kicking the back of your airplane seat. That’s inconvenient and annoying for a couple of hours; your poisoning the wells of public opinion against parents and their children no matter how they actually behave is far more destructive and dangerous, it seems to me.

11

rackensack, I don’t think most people have problems with the parents who pay attention to what their kids are doing. The big problem is most parents I have seen do not pay attention to what their child is doing. I dislike children in general, however my tolerance for children goes up if the parent is making an effort to calm, entertain or do whatever it takes to make their child behave. If a parent sees a kid kicking a seat, the parent should ask the child to stop; if a child is screaming, there is no reason the kid can’t be taken back to the restroom. I think making parents have a different section is out of the question; however if a parent can not control their child, I believe the parent should find some other way of travel, or not travel until the child is old enough to behave.

I really don’t have to imagine what traveling with small children is like; I have traveled with my nieces and nephews before. It is hard. Everyone should remember that. Adults need to have more patience with the children and the parents need to make sure they pay attention to their child. Also, if you are having a hard time with a child in a section, ask the flight attendant to help you. Or if it is really that big of a deal, you have the option not to fly too.

12

I have no problem with children on airplanes…

…it’s just their parents insist in bringing them INSIDE the plane…

(j/k)

13

Sounds like you’ve got bigger issues to deal with. Here’s some unnecessary advice…don’t reproduce.

Oh, boo, hoo, hoo. Some fraction of your life has been inconvenienced because a baby is crying in pain because his head feels like it’s going to explode and he doesn’t know how to pop his ears. All part of his master plan to interrupt your silence. Guess what? Put on headphones and the sound magically disappears.

As for the kicking…sit in the last row, then it’s not a problem. If you insist on sitting upfront with the rest of us, here’s a little thing you can try called “communication” (also known as a “conversation”). Let’s practice right now. Since you’re probably already seated, step one is turn around to your left. Now turn around to your right. Excellent, you now know how to establish eye contact with the parent. Now comes the tricky part where you speak. Repeat after me…“Excuse me sir/madam (note, you’ll need to make the proper gender choice here, don’t say both). Your son/daughter (again, another difficult gender choice to be made here) is kicking my seat. Would you please ask him/her (if you’ve handled the previous ones, you’ll be ok here) to stop? Thank you.”

The parent, appropriately chagrined, or made aware of the situation for the first time, will then take the appropriate measures. There, that was easy, wasn’t it?

I take dozens of flights each year…coast to coast, to the midwest, up and down the east coast. In less than a 1/4 of those flights I’d say there were kids. In even less than 1/4 of those, I’d say kids were crying. In every instance the parent was doing what they could. On just about every single flight, however, there was an adult who was a complete asshole. You do the math.

My son, who’s now 4, has been flying with us for over a year. His 2 y.o. sister will join us in February. He’s always been good on airplanes, and we’ll find out with her. But if you happen to see us at the airport, feel free to book yourself in the kennel.

14

kudos to rackensack & rundogrun

15

I hate to pick on your post, because it was generally considerate and expresses an opinion that is pretty common, but I think a lot of people do have problems with any kids, whether they’re being disruptive or annoying or not. I see the looks I get and hear the snide comments made while my kids are still on their best behavior.

We’ve been through several threads like this one in the last several months; someone complains about how horrible it is that kids are even allowed in some public place (restaurants, movies, airplanes, etc.). Someone like myself speaks up in defense of parents who do their best to keep their kids in line, and someone else comes along and says “Oh I don’t object to the ones who’re trying, it’s all those lousy parents and bratty kids I mind.” Then another yutz comes along to reiterate the position that they’d rather share public space with a steaming turdpile than kids.

I’m aware that those of us who are parents are susceptible to a certain smugness in our own attitudes (“Oh, if you don’t have kids you can’t possibly understand these things”, “Just wait til you have kids, then you’ll see”), but we do have an indisputable advantage in that we have experienced these situations from both sides. Do all of you who’d like to see the kids banished to the baggage compartment really believe that we’ve forgotten what it’s like on the other side? We haven’t. Most of us do our best to keep our kids from bothering you, but no matter how good we are as parents, we’re not going to succeed all of the time. It’s just not possible. If I could implant one concept in the heads of the childless, it’d be that children, up to and including teenagers, have not yet finished wiring up the areas of their brains that are responsible for impulse control. That’s just a neurological fact of life (please see Dr. Lise Eliot’s What’s Going on in There? : How the Brain and Mind Develop in the First Five Years of Life if you need objective backup for this). What that means in practical terms is that a certain percentage of the time, when something annoying or obnoxious or rude or disruptive occurs to a kid, they’re going to do it. The test of good parenting isn’t whether it happens, it’s what you do about it when it does. It’s up to the parents to ensure that the neurological pathways responsible for impulse control get fully developed by providing sufficient environmental feedback to direct and reinforce desirable behaviors.

I’ll also second rundogrun’s contention that I’ve been bothered and annoyed by rude, inconsiderate, and disruptive behavior by adult passengers far more frequently than by any kids who happened to be my flights.

16

and I fully agree with rundog
-“I take dozens of flights each year…coast to coast, to the midwest, up and down the east coast. In less than a 1/4 of those flights I’d say
there were kids. In even less than 1/4 of those, I’d say kids were crying. In every instance the parent was doing what they could. On just
about every single flight, however, there was an adult who was a complete asshole. You do the math.”

I’ve had more problems from ‘adult assholes’ than children.
As long as we are stereotyping who shouldn’t fly for our convenience, how about obese people, or those with bad hygene, or the old ladies with too much perfume? My list could go on to exclude everyone except supermodels who are easy…

later, Tom

17

For every story you can tell about adult assholes on a plane, I can tell you two about children who made an already miserable experience simply abominable.

Some posts here are completely over the top, such as the one containing this gem, “As for the kicking…sit in the last row, then it’s not a problem.” WTF??? Ignore all else - this attitude attempts to absolve ALL responsibility from the parent and child, regardless of preaching otherwise.
I’ll bet you wish you hadn’t said that. I defy you to defend that statement.

Oh on second thought, don’t bother. It’s apparent that there’s no point even discussing this topic with people who have that sort of attitude. :rolleyes:

18

This might ne too simple to work…

But why not have ‘adult only’ flights, and ‘family’ flights?

Someone mentioned speaking to the actual child…do that, it works. I do it all the time, when I see a kid acting up, I talk to them, they either are so suddenly shy they cant speak, or they forget why they were crying.

I think everyone would do well to remember that we all have to share space, with kids, and with adults - its a good idea to learn how to communicate and get along with each other…

Putting children in baggage compartments, or segregating childless folk to the back of the plane, are not solutions.

19

Sue Duhnym said:

I thought that, in a crash, you had a better rate of survivability if you sat in the back. So maybe they’re better seats. :slight_smile:

And as far as kids go, they aren’t the ones who bother me, although I can’t stand kids. It’s the shmucks who feel the need to recline no matter if there’s someone sitting behind them or not. They just don’t care. I can’t stand those people.

20

And don’t forget that in the case of a water landing, the screaming child can be used as a floatation device.

This remindes me of a story. A co-worker of mine was flying non-stop from Phoenix to Boston on business. Seated behind him was a child of 3 or 4 complaining of not feeling good while the plane was still being loaded. Mom tells him to be quiet, he’ll feel better later. Her prediction came true when, 15 minutes into the four-hour flight, Junior projectile vomits on to the backs of the seats in front of him, splashing several innocent bystanders. Junior feels better immediately, Mom is irritated (at everyone but herself, the only guilty party in the whole mess), the flight attendants are mortified, and the entire plane gets fragrance of vomit for the rest of the trip.

Okay, I’m staying out of the debate. The OP just reminded me of how much we all got to laugh at our friend’s misfortune.