Yes folks - that’s right!! Aliens, not content with simply buzzing our planet, occasionally disecting a few of us or picking up the occasional “stray bird” for rumpy-pumpy in the back seat of the spaceship are now traveling millions of light years to expose their private parts to innocent humans…
“I almost fainted with shock when I saw it,” 35-year-old Ms Nellie Yartell, from Los Angeles told reporters, refering to the latast spate of ‘alien flashers’. “In the cosmos, space aliens usually have nothing down there,” said Yartell, but this thing did - and it was totally repulsive. His you-know-what spun around like a blender and whined like a dentist’s drill." British UFO investigator Dr Sherrie Longbow says all independent sightings of aliens share similarities “so significant it’s hard to write them off as conincidental.” According to eye-witness reports, “While initially dressed in a dark-covered overcoat, [the alien] then opens it up, exhibiting his private parts - which glow in the dark and whirr.”
Taken from the
Big Issue UK No.457 (October 1-7)
I am reminded of the Fernwood 2-Night episode where a woman claimed to have been raped by an alien using a beam of light, and was worried that she may give birth to a flashlight.
(I miss that show)
Sounds like she saw
Flesh Gordon recently, with Emperor Wang’s drill-endowed robots.
Open wide and say “AAAAIIIIEEEE!”
That’s a reprint of an article that appeared in the US publication, “The Weekly World News.”
Eeer… sounds like “Big Issue U.K.” is an awful lot like the 'State’s “Weekly World News”.
In their defence, it is just one small section at the back entitled “Mad World” - the rest of the publication is serious in tone and sophisticated in content…
Having said that…
“It was once widely believed that space aliens had no external genitalia,” British UFO researcher Dr Sherrie Longbow told hacks. <snip> …in the Los Angeles area, in the last four months, 37 women have come forward. “This confirms that some aliens, like humans, exhibit aberrant sexual behaviour,” says Longbow. <snip> LA police are urging calm
From Big Issue UK No.458 (October 8-14)
October 9, 2001, 2:55pm
Aren’t people embarrassed to put ‘UFO researcher’ after their names?
Would ‘crop circle expert’ be worse?
October 9, 2001, 4:55pm
Not if you’re an expert in constructing them.