I’m in my late 20s, and I refer to any females in my peer group as “girls,” even women well into their 30s. I consider myself a girl too. I think I always will, or else I would feel way too old. If someone refered to me as “a woman,” I would feel like such an old hag. It’s bad enough that I am getting gray hair and am not even 28 yet, and on the inside I still feel like I am 16!
I don’t think you can please all the people (men, women, girls, boys, ladies OR gentlemen) all the time on this one. I for one do not mind the words girl, chick, broad, or babe, but I know women whose hair goes on fire at the very utterance of any of those words. HOWEVER, I heard a boss say, “I’ll get my girl to fax it to you,” I’d probably think that was a little demeaning. So it really depends on context. I wouldn’t fret too much over it, since you’ll never know for sure who thinks it’s OK and who doesn’t until it’s too late…
There is a manager in my building that does this (thankfully he works for my company’s subcontractor). He will walk into my office and say, “Girls, I need some help.” My co-worker is 41 and I’m 27 - we’ve both been menstruating for many years now so I’m pretty sure we qualify as women or ladies. He could just say: “Good Morning, I need some help, please.” Ah, but he is a pompous ass (for many reasons) so that’ll never happen. He’s ~50 years old, I’ve decided that the next time he calls me a girl I’ll respond by calling him boy. And while this is the South, it’s also a workplace and I expect a little more professionalism, especially since he doesn’t call the men “boys.”
As for friends, I don’t mind being called girl. My best friend and I refer to each other as that quite often. I guess it’s just the workplace setting that bothers me.
I vote along with everyone who says there should be parity: Men and women, boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen. I don’t want to hear about the high school men’s basketball team playing on Saturdays and the high school girls’ basketball team playing on Sundays, and I definitely don’t want to hear about a man dating a girl!
I’m mid-thirties and it’s been about fifteen years since I was giddy enough to want to be addressed as Miss instead of Ma’am or referred to as a girl.
Also, in addressing strangers, please use “Sir” and “Ma’am,” not “Mister” and “Lady.”
matt_mcl nailed it. At work, I always refer to people as ladies or gentlemen. Of course, I also use “sir” and “ma’am” as well.
Growing up in North Carolina, I remember being told that a woman should always be considered a lady, until she proves herself to be otherwise.
In work situations, it’s absolutely inappropriate to call women “girls.” I don’t like it when strangers/acquaintances call me a girl in social situations, either. Among good friends, though, I don’t mind.
Emphases mine. Oh the irony. 
In social situations, I don’t have a problem with “girl.” I use it all the time to refer to myself, friends, other women, although usually just people under 40 or maybe even 30.
In professional situations, though, I would say it’s a no-no. “Woman” or “person” is preferred, although if I were talking about a customer, I would say “lady.”
I hate “chick.”
Female would just sound odd to me. " I know a female who could do your taxes" " Call 911 a female in the parking lot just had a accident " " Harry, there’s a female on the phone asking for you." I just can’t think of a context that wouldn’t sound really vague in.
Call me “girl” and I’m cool with it. I’m 31, I am a girl. It’s fine with me but I’m easy like that. “Lady” seems elderly to me and “woman” seems sort of bad to me, not sure why. Maybe it’s the whole “women are insane” thing that guys get to thinking about. I’m young and young-at-heart! Any name can be degrading depending on how it’s used but don’t call me a c*** at any time or I’ll stomp you.
You know, whatever you call me, if you do so politely, I will not complain. “Gal” causes me to cringe too, because it just sounds unnatural and unwieldy, but I’ll answer to lady, girl, woman, female (on second thought, that sounds utterly robotic and impersonal), chick, broad, hey you, whatever. If I felt someone was using any of those terms in a derogatory way, I’d simply not answer.
Agree, and I can think of two reasons why the current “system” is likely to stay in place:
First, youth is prized in women to a much greater extent than in men. Age and experience are significantly more valued in men than with women. So there is a lot more pressure on the language to develop a slang term for men that does not connote youth. At the same time, most young women do not particularly object to being referred to as “girls.”
Second, any slang term for women is likely to be used by men in a way that emphasizes them as a target for sexual conquest. (e.g. “Let’s pick up some chicks.” “Let’s go wenching.” “Check out that babe over there.”) So a female equivalent to “guy” that is not offensive to feminists is unlikely to develop.
The problem is not so much with the English language as it is with English-speaking culture.
Just MHO of course.
Calling me a girl is like sitting there snapping the top on and off your pen over and over and over again–one of those little things that doesn’t really do any harm, but it’s just really friggin’ annoying.
I’m a grown woman, getting damn near 30. I’m not a child, or a kid (to anyone but my parents and grandparents, anyway) by any stretch of the imagination. I’m a young adult, but I’ve been an adult for long enough that referring to me as a child is wholly inappropriate.
It seems like just about everyone here agrees that “girl” is inappropriate at work/in professional situations.
The above quote is something I’d love to here more opinions on. (Brits, feel free to substitute “bloke” for “guy”.)
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“girl” is fine. I refer to myself this way all the time. Heck, I refer to myself as a “chick” all the time too (all males are refered to as “dude” too, just to show you how sophisticated I am ). However “girlie”, “sweetie”, “hottie” and the like are not acceptable. These words are generally used as a diminutive by people who have absolutely no right to refer to me by any kind of cute nickname, and to make it worse they usually use a sickening tone of voice too when calling me this too. It is demeaning.
“broad” and “wench” are just insulting and will result in physical injury to the party refering to me as such unless it was a friend who was joking around.
I know “female” isn’t used commonly, but it was our word of choice in the Army. It gets used to much in basic training that you just get used to it.
When you know someone has thrown a couple of live grenades, low-crawled (and I mean a real low crawl, with your face in the mud) under fire, and broken someone’s rib in hand-to-hand combat, “girl” just seems silly. If you ask me, there are no girls in the Army.
When I did a brief stint delivering pizza, I’d frequently get people running to the door calling out to their family, “pizza guy’s here,” only to open the door and look lost because I was female. I put them at their ease (I hope) by striking a superhero pose and saying, “Pizzawoman!”
Dang it, I’m proud to be a woman. Don’t want to be a girl.
“Girl” is pretty much on a par with “guy”, in Australia–IMO.
Then again, using “chick” won’t ruffle any bird’s feathers either.* The girls behind the counter at supermarkets readily refer to themselves as “check-out chicks”.
Both “girl” and “chick” are inappropriate in a formal or business environment, however.
- Yes, tonight is Awful Pun Night.
I don’t see any problem with the word “girl” in a casual situation. I use it all the time. If two older women are sitting at my bar having a drink, and I say, “Are you girls doing okay?” or “Are you girls behaving yourselves?” they always get a kick out of it. The older they are, the more they laugh at the idea that they’re Girls Behaving Badly.
OTOH, if the women are my age or younger, and I say, “Ladies, what can I get for you?” I find that they also get a kick out of the more formal form of address.
'Course, there’s the old saw that if you treat a girl like a lady and a lady like a girl, you can’t lose, so…that’s my casual form of address for most women.
I myself don’t really care, either way; as others have noted, the tone has more to do with it than anything else. The term “ladies” seems to be a lot more respectful somehow than the singular “lady.” Don’t ask me why. I don’t use the singular “lady” unless the woman herself isn’t within earshot, i.e., “That lady in the sweater at table 45 wants to talk to you.” I’d never say in front of her that “This lady says etc.”
I’d skirt the issue entirely and say, “This customer would like to speak with you.”
It’s a more formal situation, so I think unisex terms are somehow more appropriate…I’d also never say, “This man wants to speak with you,” or “This guy.”
Now I’m all confused, and I never even really thought about any of this…I guess my final conclusion is that all of these terms are appropriate for casual situations, but for more formal/serious situations, I’d go unisex and avoid the issue altogether.
Interesting. I like and use the term “lady”, and I’m a hardcore feminist in America’s northeast, although I was born in England. I also use the words “lad” and “lass” fairly easily, especially after my pet name for an old love was “Lad” and his for me was “Lass.” I admit that “lady” can carry a certain code of conduct, as can “gentleman”, but I see nothing in my interpretation of that code of conduct which implies subservience or inferiority to men. If anything, when I use the term, I’m implying full equality to the finest of men.
On the other hand, I don’t like the word “babe” – there’s something vaguely infantilizing (if that’s a word) about it. I’m not a baby; I’m a grown woman who can stand on her own, not toddle thank-you-very-much!
I’m still trying to make out my mind about “girl”, but bluethree, I like your Pizzawoman! I can see you now saving the world with pepperoni and extra cheese!
CJ
I routinely refer to myself as “the old broad” (for example, last time I went skating I told my husband “there’s life in the old broad yet!”) but I can see where one would find it insulting if someone referred to a woman as a broad in anything BUT an obviously joking manner.
“Wench” is not at all insulting to me, but that is because I am a Renaissance Faire junkie, where being a wench is a good thing.
I’ve heard some women opine that they would rather not be called ‘ladies’ or ‘lady’, on account of it makes them feel old.
Like Audrey said, “if you treat a girl like a lady and a lady like a girl, you can’t lose,” depending on the context, of course.
‘Girl’ seems like it should be a reasonable form of address, used properly.
O.K. O.K. O.K.!!!
Lots of agreement here getting us nowhere.
YES Man : Woman :: Boy : Girl :: Gentleman : Lady
The question at hand is
Guy : ???
Is it appropriate to use “Girl” to correspond with “Guy”???