It’s about time you came back home, on whatever terms you chose!
(–>loud huzzahs, hooting, whistling, stomping, graceless-but-heartfelt-dancing… oh hell, toss in a buncha tossed confetti<–)
Grace, heart, wit, humanity and style are very persuasive, no matter how one arrives at 'em. Back biters and gossips are just pathetic wannabes.
But I take strong exception to the Bea Arthur comparison. Nope, Eve is the impeccable Roz Russell, most notably in “His Girl Friday”.
Veb
How about Eve in “The Lady Eve”?
(Paraphrasing madly)
[Barbara Stanwyck]“Then he said, 'Hey, lady!..and I still don’t know how he knew I was a Lady!”[/Barbara Stanwyck]
And then there is my all-time favorite thread, Eve’s Date, which includes the following exchange.
Saxface says: Um, Eve, making dates with MEN? Aren’t you forgetting that you play for the other team? Or weren’t you going to mention it, Miss Lipstick Lesbian?
Eve replies: Sax, darling, I thought you knew I was, um, bilingual . . . No need to get jealous, dear heart—you’ll always be Miss German Alps to me!
So now I find out there are SEVERAL different teams! Cool!
Eve, welcome back–your presence is always a blessing. Who knows, this might actually simplify your life–no need for any of those dreary explanations anymore.
But don’t fall for that “It’s nobody’s business” silliness–how many threads have you seen stopped with “But you really shouldn’t be telling strangers about this!”
Oh, you’ve all been so sweet, I printed this thread out and reread it last night, getting all teary about how silly I was to think any of you would care about my abrupt outing.
Eve thanks you all in song:
Hello Dopers, well, hello, Dopers,
It’s so nice to be back home
Where I belong!
You’re lookin’ keen, Cajun,
Bill and Bean’s stagin’
A new Fest—
You’re all the best
And you’re still goin’ strong.
I feel my blood heatin’,
‘Cause Esprix’s beatin’
One of my fav’rite dead horses
In the Pit—
Shit!
Tune that Uke, fellas,
Hurl me a stern rebuke, fellas,
Evie’ll never go away again!
P.S. Guin—Wasn’t Crown Prince Rudolf a HOTTIE?
I think I’m catching on.
Eve posts an intentionally misleading thread, attempting to distract us with obvious fabrications concerning her gender-history.
Despite her attempted disinformation, Oak Island is mentioned inevitably enough.
I’ve got it, folks! This one wasn’t even hard. Eve is a Mason! Come out come out. Put on your apron and give us a hug.
(Uh, if not a Mason, perhaps an “Oddfellow”? And, of course, always an “Optimist”?)
Although a relative newbie … I am glad you came back to us, even if we don’t deserve you. 
You’re one of the few people who I would call a “classy dame” and realy mean it! I see a cross between Veronica Lake & Jessica Rabbit, with a lot of Dorothy Parker thrown in!
Eve:
As has been mentioned by others, if this is some nefarious plot to get us to stop flirting with you, it ain’t gonna work.
I once told you I thought you needed a good screwing and you replied, “Dahling, I’m inscrewtable.”
I laughed, of course, but others in the thread dropped hints that they understood and I was puzzled by what that meant.
Are you saying that there is not one man in NY that can get past that issue, or indeed wouldn’t say when told, “Well, I suppose we could get into that someday, if you like. In the meantime where would you like to eat?”
I mean, is it set in stone that you give up on men?
I am terrifically happy that you are once more gracing the MB.
We’re worthy! We’re worthy!
Rick
“I mean, is it set in stone that you give up on men?”
—Well . . . It’s tough enough for any average-looking middle-aged woman to find Mr. Right (or even Mr. Partially Correct for Half Credit). Add Baby’s Little Secret into the mix and, yeah, it IS pretty much out of the question.
Maybe there IS one guy out there who wouldn’t care. But we’d also have to have all our OTHER “planets in alignment,” so to speak, and how often does that happen for anyone? I dated for about 15 years, had a fair number of relationships, minor and major. Never found a guy who could deal with it. So now I actively avoid any situation that may lead to emotional entanglements (note I said I “try”—I don’t always succeed, worse luck!).
So, there are worse things than being a spinster. Like my wise old Aunt Ida says, “It’s better to be alone than to wish you were.”
ahem…who’s average looking? Before I know of any of this, I was showing my parents my Anna Held book and
they both commented on what an attractive woman your are. So there…thpbbbt!
**
Aunt Ida knew what she was talking about
Colour me clueless! I had no idea. In fact, I even wondered if you were pulling our collective leg for a few posts before realizing that no, you were indeed serious. I would have never guessed.
But anyway, I don’t care. You crack me up and that’s all that matters (in fact, this morning I stumbled upon your take on Wildest Bill’s ‘Gotcha ya’… bwahahaha!). So, just add me to your long list of fans. It’s nice to have you back. Now, how about a cup of tea? 
Middle-aged woman had sex during the McKinley administraion.
Someone notify the folks at Guinness. Eve here plans on living to be more than 200 years old!
(And when you get a hold of them, order me a pint!)
Something doesn’t compute in this statement.
Considering the fact that before your “coming out”, you were considered one of the most respected, loved and appreciated member of this board,
Considering that in this thread, you received love, support, respect and appreciation.
I can come to only one conclusion…
You should start considering dating Dopers
Eve -
Since my first encounter, oh-so-many years ago, with one of your posts, I’ve said to myself “If I weren’t a gay man, I’d long for Eve from afar.” Now this puts a whole new light on things, doesn’t it! And just in the nick of time. I’ve only recently learned that my other SDMB-if-I-were-straight-I’d-long-for-her poster, Shayna, will soon be tying the knot with another. (Damn you Spiny Norman!) So, I guess I’ll be turning my affection to you again!
To reiterate: Classy broad? Check. Sorely missed? Check. Loved by many? Check. Highly respected? Check.
And please, please, please never leave us again. I mean, after all, I did cancel my subscription with those bastards at Movieline just for you!
Average-looking, my patootie. You’re drop dead gorgeous and classy. Didn’t Caroline Cossey get married not too long ago? If she could find someone, certainly a woman as beautiful and refined as you has a chance, no? Not that I mean to make you feel bad about your decision to avoid the potential heartache – I totally understand it. If you’re happy, Eve, that’s all that matters!
(And on preview I see that the dating Dopers suggestion has been made. I can personally attest to that idea being a great one! Where else can one find such an array of open-minded, interesting and wonderful people who share common interests and ideals? I say go for it!!)
Nope. Cant’t do it.
And Liza, AGAIN! If SHE can manage multiple spouses, even if they ARE all gayer than a treeful of parrots, I should think you would have no trouble at all. Hell, I’d offer my own hand except my wife would (might) object.
Aww, aren’t you the sweetest, Kepi. I remember your Valentines Day Almost Proposal with fondness. If I were a gay man… (why do I feel the urge to follow that up with, yabba-dibba-dibba-dibba-dibba-dibba-dibba-dum ? ;)) Eve’s a lucky girl to have your affections turned to her!
*{shuffles around in MPSIMS, sees the thread title}
{blinks}
{blinks again}
{rushes in and hug-tackles his one and only Madame Dumont in true Groucho style, leaving her disheveled and in a pile on the floor}*
I daresay we’ve missed you around here, Mrs. Rittenhouse. I do daresay, dare I do! I do I do!
{walks off wriggling eyebrows and twirling cigar}
Esprix
That is absolutely perfect! That is exactly how I picture, Eve.
Now that the suggestion is out there that Eve begins dating Dopers, I am off the market! Oh, the agony!
I wrote an e-mail to this girl I was kinda dating, entitled “EVE JUST FLIRTED WITH ME!” I was so thrilled. And I still am, what with this news, at least to me. And talk about you at DopeFests? Of course! Two young ladies were all atwitter after lunching with you in January, and the rest of the gang was green with envy. I knew before hand and had the opportunity to be jealous before most people.
You are gorgeous, young lady. Welcome back.
I am SO going to knock my head in to the wall for not reading this before today.
Eve, I am just beside myself with GLEEEEEEEE that you’re back. And yes, I take every given opportunity to mention the fact that manny, Miss C & I had tea with you in NYC. At the Algonquin. And it was really really cool.
As for the other stuff in your OP, well, I’m not one of the ones that knew. Don’t care, either. Ever since I first encountered you on these boards, I’ve wanted to be you when I grew up, and I still do. Meeting you was one of my Doper Dreams Come True, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for allowing it to happen.
Much love,
Cristi
[[And yes, I take every given opportunity to mention the fact that manny, Miss C & I had tea with you in NYC. At the Algonquin. And it was really really cool.]] Persephone
That’s the photo I saw. You were all three to die for.
Jill