"All the Girls in France Do the Hoochie-Coochie Dance"

Cafe Society
1

Thanks to those wonderful old-music sites from a recent thread, I have been listening to a lot of pop tunes, c1910–30. One musical leitmotif that recurs frequently is the “Little Egypt” music, which I sang as a child as,

“All the girls in France Do the hoochie-coochie dance,
And the way they shake, it could really kill a snake.
When the snake is dead, they will tie it 'round their head . . .”

Now, that can’t be right. I mean the lyircs, I don’t mean the entire female population of France hoochie-coochie-ing with dead snakes tied around their heads. I have never been to France, but I trust that is not the state of affairs there.

What are the lyrics to this ditty you heard as a tot?

2

I’ve seen the lyrics for this in several different places, but they all seem to differ.

One of the (and possibly the most) popular versions opens:

“There’s a place in France/
Where the naked ladies dance”

(BTW, Eve, did you get my e-mail and go to that site?)

3

There a place in France/
Where the alligators dance/
But the one wouldn’t dance/
So they shot him in the pants/
And the pants that he wore/
Cost $1.64/
Plus tax.

4

I don’t remember . . . All heck’s been breaking loose, I’ve been in and out of town and extremely fardeiget recently.

5

There’s a place in France, where the naked ladies dance
There’s a hole in the wall, where the men can see it all
And [something] don’t care, 'cause they [something] underwear

6

On an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000, Tom Servo sings, “There’s a place in France where the ladies wear no pants,” but that’s as far as he gets.

(In case you’re wondering, the episode is “Laser Blast”)

7

I know that you were gone for personal reasons last week, but I just sent it yesterday.

8

There’s another version, not involving ladies in France, but all I can remember of it at the moment is a line in the middle: “When the roses die/ They put diamonds in their eye”.

9

They have a recording of that at the Sex Museum in NYC. It’s a neat little song.

10

Guv—you better send it again, In think I deleted most of my e-mail in a fit of pique.

It must be hard to tie a snake around your head when you have diamonds in your eye.

11

When I was a kid, this musical classic went:

There’s a place in France
Where the ladies wear no pants
There’s a hole in the wall
So the men can see it all.
Sheer poetry. Brings a tear to my eye.

12

Hey, hey, hey, the people who said it were 10-year-old girls. 10 year-olds are not particularly known for full logic.

13

I’ve definitely heard “There’s a place in France/Where the naked ladies dance” which, as I recall, continues with something like “But the men don’t care/'cause they chew their underwear”

There’s also: “There’s a place on mars/where the ladies smoke cigars”

14

Thanks, Max, that was just the mental stimulation I needed to remember some more lines to the above post.

“Every drop they take/Is so much to kill a snake/When the snakes are dead/They put roses in their head”

Yes, this will pass down in the ages, along with Marlowe’s “Passonate Shepard”, Eliot’s “Four Quatros”, and Keats’ “Can You Loan Me Two Bob?”

15

There’s a place in France
Where the naked ladies dance
And the dance they do
Is enough to [I forget]
And the love they make
Is enough to charm a snake
And there’s a hole in the wall
Where you can see it all!

That’s they way I heard it.

16

Ours was ’ But the Men don’t care, cause they lost their underwear’ which might be what you are thinking of.

17

We didn’t use the word “ladies” very often when I learned this song…late 70s and 80s. So for us it was:

“There’s a place in France
Where the naked women dance
There’s a hole in the wall
Where the men watch it all”

We also had “There’s a place on mars
where the women smoke cigars
But the men don’t care
Cause they smoke their underwear”

which didn’t make sense at all. But had the magic word “underwear” which makes any song hilarious for the under 10 set.

18

“There’s a place in France where the naked ladies dance
There’s a hole in the wall where the men can see it all
But the men don’t care because they’re in their underwear
And the cops don’t shoot, 'cause they think its kind of cute”

19

“There’s a place in France where the naked ladies dance
Each step they take is enough to kill a snake.
When the snake is dead, they put diamonds in its head.
When the diamonds break, it is 1998.”

This sounds like a really bizarre form of augury.

20

There’s a place in France where the naked ladies dance
There’s a hole in the wall where the men can see it all
And a king and a queen with a rubber ding-a-ling

(More verses, but I forgot them.)