Me three. I was giddy for a second, then said, Oh, probably a zombie. Boy, we all miss Eve!
Eve?
Oh.
Yeah, me too. Damn.
permit me to post a most illogical version…
“There’s a place in France where the ladies jump and dance,
And the men walk around with their wing-wongs hanging down…”
Down?
DOWN?
even at 13 I knew they should be UP!
Yes, but a message to any newbies who happen into this thread.
Don’t mess with Eve.
I always thought it was “but the men don’t care / Cause they’re wearing underwear.”
As in, the men can see the “naked” ladies dancing through the hole in the wall, but the naked ladies turn out to be falsely advertised - they’re actually wearing underwear. So the men end up not caring about looking through the hole in the wall.
I dunno. It made sense to me when I was 8.
The one version I recall (from the early 1960s) that hasn’t been cited yet was:
All the girls in France
Wear tissue-paper pants,
But the boys don’t care,
'Cause they’re guaranteed to tear.
Courtesy of my mother-in-law:
“Oh, they wear no pants
in the hootchie-cootchie dance”
Unfortunately, that’s as much as she knows of that version.
You guys had all the fun.
We sang, “Davy, Davy Crocket. King of the wild frontier.” Didn’t think about France too much.
Except for
“I see London.
I see France.
I see ______'s underpants.”
What I learned:
“There’s a place in France
Where the ladies do a dance
And the way they shake
Is enough to kill a snake
When the snake is dead
They put roses in its head
When the roses die
They put diamonds in its eye
When the diamonds turn to glass
They put silver up its ass
When the silver falls out
They begin to scream and shout.”
Fortunately, since this thread was started, KeSha has settled the question of the definitive lyrics.
The version I (vaguely) remember from a Glaswegian childhood was:
“All the girls in Spain, wash their knickers in champagne,
All the boys in France, do the hula hula dance,
And the dance they do, is enough to tie a shoe,
And the shoe they tie, is enough to tell a lie,
And the lie they tell, is enough to ring a bell,
And the bell they ring, goes ding a ling a ling!”
Here’s the version I learned from my neighbor some time in the 70’s
There’s a place in France
Where the ladies do a dance
And the dance that they do
Was written by a Jew
And the Jew didn’t know how to dance
So they shot him in the pants
And the pants that he wore
Cost a $1.94
[basso profundo] plus tax [/basso profundo]
I’m surprised not to see the version we sang as kids. It’s much shorter than what you all have here:
All the girls in France
Don’t wear any underpants
When they climb the pole
You can see their hiney-hole.
I am joining this “conversation” a few years late & I also must have sung this song many years before all of you did. When I was a kid & sang the song we sang:
All the girls in France
Do the hula hula dance
And the way they shake it’s enough to kill a snake
When the snake is dead they put diamonds in its’ head
When the diamonds are gone they put rubies in its’ eyes
When the rubies are gone it is 1969!
Thus you know can extrapolate this song was around since at least the early 1960’s.
There’s a place called Mars
where the women smoke cigars
and the men there wear bikinis
and the children drink martinis
there’s a place called Mars…
UT
What’s with all the Jew-killing? Should I stay the heck away from naked French ladies?
I only heard the song once, in camp, and I only remember fragments.
In the land of Mars
Where the (babies?) (ladies?) smoke cigars
And the boys wear bikinis
And the (girls?) (Babies?) something something…
And then I’m pretty sure there was something about snake with glass in its eye, and the year 1999.
Even though I only heard it that once, the tune captivated me for years.
Eight years and two zombifications, and I still haven’t seen the version I knew in grade school:
*There’s a place on Mars where the ladies smoke cigars
The cigars they smoke are enough to tell a joke
And the joke they tell is enough to take a pill
And the pill they take is enough to fry a snake
And the snake they fry is enough to tell a lie
And the lie they tell is enough to go to *
(here the tune changes)
Hell-o Operator, get me number nine
And if you disconnect me, I’ll kick your fat
Behind the (something something) on a piece of broken glass
Little Orphan Annie fell right on her
Ask me no more questions, I’ll tell you no more lies!
That reminded me of this performance.