Just do like everyone else did and randomly hit buttons at different times until you figure them out. It only shuts down the board occasionally. And usually just for a few hours.
It’s Chainsawsuit. You are forgiven.
I even have a copy of one of his books that Kris signed and drew Lazy Cat inside the cover.
Which is much easier.
And for additional information about how to work with Discourse and the Markdown mark-up codes, see these helpful references:
Simple Markdown beginner’s tutorial, showing some of the basic formatting codes.
GreysonCarlisle’s Markdown tutorial thread, which goes into a lot more detail.
“All these buttons are new! I have no idea what I’m doing”
It could be worse … 
And those glass-cockpit computer screens in airplanes can be tricky too! If you want to point out something on the screen to your co-pilot (or to your pilot), you have to be very very careful to not actually touch the screen, because that will immediately bring up some totally different display or do who-knows-what. (You needn’t ask me how I discovered that fact.)