The news that San Diego Padres outfielder Milton Bradley is lost for the rest of the season after tearing up his knee during an altercation with an umpire, brings to mind the various dumb ways ballplayers have managed to hurt themselves in extracurricular activities (or at least those wounds sustained while not actively playing).
Speaking of bizarre injuries, Moises Alou has a place in the All-Time rankings, having missed an entire season (1999) with knee damage sustained in a) a fall off a treadmill, and later b) falling off a bicycle.
This site lists some of the other top contenders, including Vince Coleman getting rolled up in the tarp machine and missing the '85 World Series, and John Smoltz trying to iron a shirt while wearing it and burning his chest. (Ken Griffey Jr.* also gets an honorable mention here, which is only fitting as he is a charter member of the All-Injury Hall of Fame).
Any other suggestions for the all-time baseball Dumb Injury list?
*Current status: injured.
This thread reminded me of a standup comedy bit I saw years ago about how baseball players will miss games for the silliest reasons. Stuff like, “And XXX is back, playing today for the first time since he was frightened by a child last Halloween…” And Joe Garagiola always sticks up for 'em, “Yeah, those kids’ll scare the hell out of ya…”
Anyway, sorry. I have nothing of substance to add.
My favorite has always been former utility infielder Bret Barberie, who fixed himself a snack of nachos with hot peppers, then neglected to wash his hands before he put on his contact lenses only to experience a burning sensation in his eyes. He missed one game.
Jim Lonborg was the dominating pitcher for the '67 Red Sox, but proceeded to wreck his knee while skiing, and was never the same afterward (though he managed to continue pitching).
Brien Taylor, a top pitching phenom, wrecked his shoulder in a bar fight and never made it to the majors.
Jason Isringhausen derailed his career by breaking a wrist while punching a trash can in the dougout.
Wasn’t there some pitcher who was out for a while last season because he’d strained his arm playing “Guitar Hero”? (I’m thinking it was someone on the Detroit Tigers who missed the playoffs because of it, but I could be wrong.)
John Tudor, frustrated by his outing in game 7 of the 1985 World Series (and no doubt upset over the fact that there was a game 7 at all), tore up his hand punching an electric fan in the dugout.
Not to be outdone by a Cardinal, albeit 22 years late, Royals pitcher Neil Musser broke his hand punching a chair in the Royals clubhouse.
The game he missed had been scheduled as his first start in the majors. In tribute to the road on which Perez repeatedly circled the stadium, he acquired the nickname “I-285”, which was emblazoned on the jacket he wore while running the bases (he was fast enough to be used as a pinch-runner between pitching appearances). More on this character, whose career was tainted by drug problems and repeated injuries.
Julian (Freddy) Tavarez gave up a HR to the Astro’s Beltran in game 4 of the '04 NLCS and was yanked so he promptly broke a couple of fingers punching out the bullpen phone.
I was watching the game Perez missed. IIRC, the announcers at first didn’t know why he had been replaced, and then when they found out, they kept giving updates in the “Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead” vein.*
*I just checked, and according to Wikipedia, he is.
Uhm, Ok, not being a sports fan and all that, I saw the little preview and I have to ask – the guy’s name is really]Milton Bradley? Seriously, and people think me spelling my son’s name Niq instead of Nick is “weird.”