Friday evening, my left knee started hurting. Badly. By Saturday morning, trying to bend it caused me severe pain. I couldn’t figure out what the heck caused this injury. I’m unfortunately not jogging right now, what with the ice on the ground and no time in my schedule. I walk the same mile and a half I do every day on my way to and from the bus station and my office. And I sit a lot, unfortunately–at work, and then on a long bus ride to and from my home town. In short, nothing new, and nothing strenuous at all.
Last night, I realized what had likely caused the injury: My new car. I got a new car with a manual transmission. I haven’t driven a stick shift on any regular basis for ten years. I think my knee pain is caused from operating the clutch.
You should have read the owner’s manual. Then you would have seen the warning about how operating the clutch may cause severe knee discomfort and you would have known to stretch your knee before operating the vehicle!
Ha ha, I once sustained a door opening injury! Seriously! The door handle was a little larger than normal and a little stiffer, too. I felt something in my wrist ‘snap’, and it hurt for 2 - 3 weeks.
How out of shape do ya have to be to suffer a door opening injury (and I’m not THAT out of shape).
Never mind breaking in the car – looks like you need to break in your knee! Feel better, dude.
Mr. S once shoved a screwdriver up his nose with full force – at work. (It was a slow period, so they were given the task of taking apart some old cubicle sections. There was no tool provided to remove the clips between the panels, and using a screwdriver to pry them out seemed the best way. Guess not . . .) He had to fill out an accident report with all the usual questions: “How could this accident have been prevented?” etc.
The honour of “stupidist injury” should go to my friend. After a night out we were walking home. He was so drunk he couldn’t walk straight. Because of this I was holding his arm and guideing him. Eventually he decided he wanted to bounce about. So I had to let go. A few seconds later he walked into a bush. He got a large cut down his face.
In a game of three-on-two kickball (with one player permanently on the fielding team) a friend of mine sustained a broken finger. He’s military, so when he went to the gym the next Monday, he had to explain to his friends how he hurt his hand…
“Oh, I was playing some ball, you know, stuff happens.”
“Some ball? What were you playing?”
“You know, just a little three-on-three.”
“Football? Basketball? You’re too short for basketball.”
“It was, um… kickball.”
When people are drunk enough to have stupid injuries, they usually can’t remember where they came from. So I doubt they’ll be too many “I was soooo drunk…” stories.
I went with some buddies to see the Indy 500 several years ago. My one friend spent some time with a young lady. Tore his hamstring during “bedroom activity”. He was embarrased, yet also proud.
On Monday I hit myself in the face with my own pickleball paddle during my Racquets class. They have a string on the handle you can loop around your wrist so you don’t drop it, and somehow on an upward swing the paddle slipped out of my hand, swung up on the string and the edge of it whacked me right between the eyes. There’s still a tender spot above my nose. Those things are heavy and made of wood.
Once I fell down a flight of stairs because I was distracted by a cute furry squirrel.
[ul]
[li]Broke my pinky toe by dropping a can of tuna fish on it[/li][li]Pulled my gleuteus minimus, requiring physical therapy, by participating in…well… ‘strenuous activity’[/li][li]Hit myself in the face with a bat, causing sinus problems for the rest of my life[/li][li]Sprained my ankles numerous times by wearing clogs on ice, missing stairs, forgetting that whole left/right pattern necessary to walk[/li][/ul]
While getting a box of Christmas ornaments off of a high shelf in my garage, I tilted it back to ease it down, and the dart board I had stupidly laid on top of it slid off and cracked me right between the eyes.
I bled like a stuck pig for hours and spent the holidays with a bandaid stuck vertically from my nose to my forehead.
