Alligator lizards in the air

Cafe Society
1

So I’m making a CD for a road trip to Los Angeles, and I put “Ventura Highway” by the band America on there, because it’s got a nice little hook and we’re going to be driving on the Ventura Highway. As soon as it comes on, the driver of the car starts bitching about America and how much they sucked, going so far as to call them one of the stupidest bands ever. “Just listen to the lyrics,” he said.

I’d always thought of America as being completely inoffensive; I wouldn’t go out of my way to listen to them, but I wouldn’t run away screaming either. But after paying more attention to the lyrics, I realized that America wasn’t just one of the stupidest bands ever, they were THE stupidest band ever. Because it’s so insidious; you hear a pleasant little tune and think nothing of it, while the vapid lyrics work their magic and actually make you stupider just for having heard them.

Exhibit A: “Ventura Highway”

What in the name of all that is good and holy does “Alligator lizards in the air” refer to? I suppose it could be an enigmatic “pompatous of love” type phrase, if you didn’t have the rest of the lyrics reminding you that the whole song is just random incoherent words strung together. “The days surround your daylight there?” “Been hit by purple rain?” Why are you sorry about that? Does it have something to do with your missing the train?

Exhibit B: “Horse With No Name”

Do tell. The words paint a picture in my brain. There were not only plants and birds in this desert, but also rocks, and then things. Things!

And that sound was “Duuuuuhhhhhrrr.” The heat was hot, you say?

Because, presumably, he was in danger of looking up and drowning. I’m convinced now that the only reason the horse didn’t have a name was because he was too dense to come up with one. He probably would’ve named it “Horse.” Or “Thing.”

Exhibit C: “Muskrat Love”
Too easy.

Exhibit D: “You Can Do Magic”

Sure, the whole damn song is repetitive, and if a 4th grader turned it in for a poetry class he’d get a C+ at best, but that last line is the stupidest part. The whole song is about how this person made him fall in love with her/him. So he/she isn’t putting out the fire, she’s starting it. Dumb ass.

It may be true that Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man, but this guy still should’ve checked to see if the wizard could set him up with a brain. I feel like I’ve been duped all these years, humming along mindlessly and never realizing that America was the stupidest band ever.

2

What, “alligator lizards in the air” doesn’t draw you back to golden childhood memories of lizard-flinging fights?
Quick!
Grab it before it drops its tail and you lose it!
Quick!
Fling it at your friend before it bites you!
(those little fuckers could draw blood, they weren’t called alligator lizards for nothin’)
…Enjoy the high pitched girlish screams and run before they can throw it back on you…

3

I always thought that the lyrics to Ventura Highway were about tripping or at least written with the idea that the listener would most likely be tripping while listening to it. Their other songs…mostly just silly to me, and I like America. Listened to them all the time when I was a kid so I guess maybe it’s a nastalgia thing for me.

I think many of their lyrics are just early seventies stream of consciousness kind of writing. It doesn’t have to make sense as long as it sounds groovy, man.

4

It’s abour drugs. Obviously. 'Cause if you see “alligator lizards in the air” you had better be on drugs, or you’re stuck in a bad Godzilla flick.

5

I have always thought Horse With No Name was an amazingly annoying song. The others don’t bother me as much, but that one I always turn off.

6

It’s the 11th and final Plague against the Egyptians in the Bible book of Exodus.

I lie! I always figured it mean dragonflies

7

Also the fact that I’m something of a herp geek and used to sell alligator lizards.

Also relevant to this thread, one of my favorite unknown bands–The Loud Family–has an album entitled “Plants and Birds and Rocks and Things.”

8

Yep. In the '70s, artists like America, Steely Dan, and Bernie Taupin (via Elton John) gave the music scene the lyrical equivalents of Monet paintings. The words of many of their songs are meant to provoke impressions, and are not meant as strict narrative.

Among contemporary groups, Train and Third Eye Blind do some of that impressionistic schtick. Coldplay, too, I think.

9

To the OP: congratulations on your awakening. Yes Virginia, America was a shit band. Now you know the truth.

My g/f and I have this discussion often. She loves the band and insists that all her smart friends thought their lyrics were great. At that point I politely change the subject; better to stand mute than insult your g/f’s friends.

I think Randy Newman’s comment on “Horse With No Name” says it best: “It’s about a kid who thinks he’s taken acid.”

10

You are a wise man sir.

11

Oh Sol you really made me laugh! You too Tortuga!

I’m always amazed when I hear that old classic by the Moody Blues. What a beat! What a groove! What the hell are they saying. Ride my see-saw??

Complete lyrics

12

You better watch out before someone accuses you of being “un-American” or worse, “anti-American!” har har… :wink:

13

The free wind was blowing through my hair, and I kicked the Horse with No Name in the ribs and edged him up over eighty, rumbling along through the desert as the amber liquid sloshed in the square bottle gripped in my sweaty fist. My accountant and personal trainer needed to vomit so he asked if we could stop soon.

I looked at him through a pair of triple-wide gold rimmed aviator sunglasses with red lenses, trying to decide whether the blood was on him or on my eyes, and hollered over my shoulder, “We can’t stop here… this is ALLIGATOR LIZARD country!”

His quizzical look could have been a side effect of the acid, or of the America album in his eight track. Ah… poor bastard doesn’t see the alligator lizards. Well, I’m not going to say anything. He’ll see them soon enough. Where’s that ether?

14

I agree with the impressionistic lyrics interpretation. It’s not like the lyrics of 99% of today’s popular music is any less inane. Really, tell us who you like to listen to, and I bet we can pick out lyrics that in the cold light of day, look just as stupid as anything in the America canon.

15

I’m glad to see I’m not the only one who never could figure out the lyrics to “Ventura Highway.” However, I still like the song a great deal; it’s a catchy little ditty. I also like “Sister Goldenhair,” but not because I think it has any redeeming musical merit. It was popular my first year in college when I worked on the student newspaper and the editors were two blondes and times were pretty interesting. I hear that song and get nostalgic for one of the few good times in my life.

My opinion of America, before today, was that they were one of those lightweight bands that plagued the 1970’s; they were not terrible, but neither were they good. However, upon learning they wrote “Muskrat Love” (I’m only familiar with the Tony Tennille version, which is bad enough. In fact, when one of the local radio stations was asking listeners to name bad songs for a Thanksgiving “Turkey” Special, I and several others named that ditty.) I’ve come to the conclusion that this is one crime not even God can forgive.

As an aside, I once heard a DJ ridicule “Horse With no Name.” His suggestion was: “You’re stuck in the desert with nothing else to do. Name the damn
horse.”

16

Discussions like this always remind me of the brilliant Blues Traveller song, “The Hook”:

It doesn’t matter what I say
So long as I sing with inflection
That makes you feel that I’ll convey
Some inner truth of vast reflection
But I’ve said nothing so far
And I can keep it up for as long as it takes

. . . .

Because the hook brings you back!

17

Steve Allen used to have a bit where he’d read the lyrics to popular songs like serious poetry. It was pretty funny.

18

If we can’t make fun of crappy 70s bands…

(Wait for it)

…then the terrorists have already won!

19

It was *not * funny. It was hilarious.
Ba Ba Ba
Ba Babra Ann
Ba Ba Ba
Ba Babra Ann
Take my hand
Barbara Ann
Barbara Ann
Ba Ba Ba
Ba Babra Ann…

Intoned with beatnik-serious inflections and poignant pauses.

20

If we’re going to go after song lyrics, can someone please explain these:

Why can’t I breathe
whenever I think about you
why can’t I speak
whenever I talk about you.

???

Please. Explain it. Do it for the children.