Almond milk feels like I'm drinking elf come*

*Not speaking from experience. Stolen shamelessly from Dave Atell, btw.

But seriously. The point of milk is all gone with almond milk. I tried it because of the lesser calories, but it’s so thick and creamy and smooth it’s gross. I feel like I should slap my own ass and call myself a bitch as I drink it or something.

I guess I’m just so used to the texture of 2% or 1% milk that I can’t stand this frothy drink.

What about soy milk, is that as gross? Other healthy milk options?

Sorry to hear this. MilliCal is lately a convert to Almond Milk, and she loves it.

She also peruses the SDMB on her own, now that she’s old enough. She’ll probably see this thread, and I may have to explain what the hell “elf come” is. Thanks a lot.

I have come (see what I did?) to really enjoy soy milk. My son has a milk allergy, so that’s what I get for him.

I didn’t like it at first, because I wanted it to be milk. Once I quit thinking about it as milk, and starting thinking about it as just another drink, I really liked it. It has a nice nutty flavor, and is very good on a bland cereal like Cheerios. A big cold glass is also my favorite post-run recovery drink.

Quality matters, too. Silk is very good, and tastes different than the Costco brand, for example. Some brands seems to be thicker than others.

I wonder, if you end up finding soy milk repulsively thick as well, if you could thin it a bit with water?

Oh, and rice milk isn’t anywhere near as thick, but it also doesn’t have the awesome protein content that soy milk does.

’mika, if you ever come to Spain and haven’t grown used to those milks, don’t try horchata de chufa. My reaction to almond milk was “they call this ‘milk’ because it was invented by someone who didn’t know horchata!” (horchata de chufa is made by pressing hydrated chufas, which are a kind of nut; guess how soja milk and almond milk are made - you guessed it right).

As far as I can tell, the only similarity between most of those and milk is being white liquids. I’ve had a couple of soy milks which were milkier than most of these horchatas, but in general I find that if it’s not one of the flavored varieties, it’s better to think of it as being a completely different thing than milk.

My advice is to try it with cereal first, to get used to it. That’s what I did with soy milk way back when. Of course, being used to soy milk, almond milk tastes like a delicious creamy milk shake to me, which, as opposed to you, I see as a good thing.

Moving thread from MPSIMS to Cafe Society, where we can really get our elf on. :smiley:

I’ve never had it, but now if I do I won’t be able to think of anything other than “I’m drinking a big glass of elf come”.

I don’t really eat cereal. :frowning: I drink it with an English Muffin.

Cal, sorry about your kid, but the Internet is for porn!

Sicks Ate mentioned rice milk, which I’d recommend to avoid that nasty thick/creamy thing a lot of fake milks have going for them. I like Rice Dream brand rice milk, unflavored. It’s thinner than the overly creamy soy and almond milks I’ve tried (which I agree, are over done… it’s like drinking half and half or cream), more similar in mouth feel to skim/1% than whole. It does have a slightly sweet taste of rice, which I like. I like drinking it by itself, and it does work okay in cooking and baking.

I’ve also tried unflavored coconut milk, which is agreeably thin, but found the taste to be lacking.

Ok, I’ll try rice milk and coconut milk (I presume it’s healthy, because regular coconut milk is pretty fattening). I’ll try soy. ONCE.

…*peeks in to see what this is all about … ambles off in search of brain bleach *…

Obligatory link

MilliCal will appreciate that. She loves Avenue Q.

…you might try a glass instead.

I remember being 13, you won’t have to explain anything.

Goddammit, I’m 36 going on 12.

What if you put a little chocolate syrup in it and thought of it like a smoothie or yogurt drink instead?

I’m sorry I don’t like chocolate syrup… I could put maybe some strawberry or vanilla flavoring, but isn’t that kind of defeating the purpose of a healthy drink?

Anyway it’s not the taste. The taste is OK. IT’S TOO THICK. Yuck.

I once actually ran across some porn art that involved an inn that sold “elf milk” that turned out to be, yes, elf come. So I’ve got images to go with the thoughts.

Hot OP.