This is going to be a very long post, so you can scroll down to the TL;DR version at the bottom if you’d like to skip most of it.
(Right off the bat, I would like to point out that “right-winger” isn’t the best term, but I can’t think of a more suitable term at the moment to describe views that are typically associated with political conservatism.)
There is a remarkable phenomenon, which is that almost everyone - be they liberal or conservative in other political views - is a conservative when it comes to the area of dating and relationships - specifically, *whom *you want to date or don’t want to date.
In this thread, I am referring, of course, to societies in which people have free choice as to whom they want to date or marry. In societies where arranged or forced marriages are the norm, personal choice obviously does not mean much.
I will have to say - repeatedly - that, in this thread, I am not arguing as to whether this trait is a good or bad thing - but rather, that I am just describing it as it is.
Society at large encompasses people of numerous backgrounds and political views, but when it comes to dating and relationships, most people in society are almost unanimously of the following opinions:
**No entitlement **- the general consensus is that “Nobody is entitled to a boyfriend or girlfriend.” And if someone argues that he or she is deserving of a significant other, that won’t benefit their romantic prospects one bit. In fact, nothing seems to kill attractiveness as much as someone arguing that they are not getting what they deserve in the dating/romance field.
**Discrimination is fair game **- when it comes to preference in dating and relationships, almost everyone discriminates on the basis of multiple factors, such as race, age, appearance, disability, wealth, height, personality, intelligence, weight, etc. Many discriminate very blatantly and openly.
Even many liberals argue that dating preferences on the basis of race either 1) is not racism, or 2) is permissible discrimination. Now, there are some who argue against this discrimination - this articleis a prime example - but by and large, most people, be they liberal or conservative, think racial preferences in dating are OK. If someone doesn’t want to date a cripple in a wheelchair, that isn’t considered ableism either.
What society objects to is oftentimes how loudly, or how, someone expresses their views. If someone says, “I refuse to date black people,” he or she might get called racist, but if someone says, “I have a preference for this or that particular race,” then society considers that fine.
**Haves vs. have-nots **- Social Darwinism is very strongly present in the arena of dating and relationships. Oftentimes, those who are attractive, only draw even more people, which increases their attractiveness further yet, and those who are unattractive, only repel even more people, which makes them even less attractive. Dating and relationships is really, oftentimes, a situation where the good get better and the bad get worse. In other words, it becomes a situation of “haves” vs. “have-nots.”
(Note: Not all right-wingers are Social Darwinists, and not all Social Darwinists are right-wingers, but there is definitely a lot of overlap.)
(Again: I am not saying that this is good or bad. I am simply describing it as it is.)
Inequality - This is closely related to the point above. Many people, even those who normally preach the virtues of “equality” and the evils of “inequality” - are very comfortable with, or even promote, a society in which some people are considered highly attractive and some people are considered highly unattractive. Inequality in this regard is not considered to be a problem in the way that income inequality or other forms of inequality would be.
No affirmative action - there is little affirmative action in dating and relationships - although some people might date others out of “pity,” but most do not - and most would certainly never advise or suggest that people ought to date people because they are hard-off or have little dating success.
(Again: I am not saying that this is good or bad. I am simply describing it as it is.)
Now, if you take those aforementioned attributes and applied it to any other issue in society - namely, no one is entitled, discrimination is fair game, no affirmative action, Social Darwinism, persistent inequality - you’d have a political platform from some dystopic right-wing party.
Why is this? I suggest that this is the case because people are less and less willing to practice affirmative action the closer and closer it hits to home, and the more painful the price is. By that, I mean that many people are willing to practice low-cost “affirmative action” - i.e., pay higher taxes, allow people of other races to have more of an advantage in admissions, etc. - but when it comes to dating and marriage, that is too high a personal price to pay.
In the same way that many people think there ought to be more homeless shelters built, but draw the line at personally housing a homeless person as a guest in their own home, many people also would never marry or date someone who is unattractive or of low quality because they “deserve” a mate - because that would come at extremely high personal cost to oneself.
There’s a thin line between what society can demand of someone and what society cannot - society can demand that employers not discriminate in employment, but you can’t mandate that anyone do anything in regards to dating preferences.
Interestingly enough, most of these things would be considered offensive in the context of friendship - if someone said, “I don’t want to befriend Hispanic people and you can’t make me sit next to a Hispanic person,” that person would probably be called racist, but someone who prefers not to date Hispanic people probably wouldn’t face that same type of criticism. Someone who didn’t want to be befriend someone who is a cripple, or short, or fat, etc. might be criticized in a way that they would not if it were about dating and not friendship - again, dating an “unattractive” person represents greater personal cost than befriending an “unattractive” person. The typical one-size-fits-all answer is, “The heart wants what the heart wants.”
(Again: I am not saying that this is good or bad. I am simply describing it as it is.)
**TL;DR: ** Most people adopt a politically right-wing approach to dating and relationships - namely, that “All’s fair in love and war.”
