Almost Hired An Idiot Tonight

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I struggled with this thread title. Thought this would maybe get to the point better than some others I came up with.

“Don’t Hire Somebody Stoopider Than Yourself”- well, I can see that happening, in some cases.

“Take your own advice” -too nebulous…

“Would you hire this mechanic?” - doesn’t really get to the heart of it, and implies a real answer would be sought.

“You’ve got to be DAMN GOOD LOOKING to Fuck me Twice!”- Well, this hardly makes any sense at all!

Here is what happened:

I botched a repair on one of the cars. Specifically, The Wife’s. Done went 'round in circles for a while on this (stumped the dealer and everybody I know, although the dealer was a Shit-Hook Operation, and tried to rip me off). Decided to get outside help.

Find a guy on the inter-tubes, contact him, and he seems to know his shit. Asks all the right questions, and gives all the right answers.

Fine. Get your Roll On. Let’s do it. Cash is getting hot in my hands as we speak.

:rolleyes:

I get an email, “Tire blew out. No spare. I come tomorrow”. :rolleyes: (bad grammar and punctuation is representative of the actual intercourse)

A mechanic, that doesn’t carry a spare? Sorry. I’m not hiring you to hang a fucking bird-feeder.

2

Idk, Gato, mechanics notoriously have problem vehicles. It’s like the Physician heal thyself, thing. Bad grammar that does it for me, though.
I told you to go buy her a new ride.

3

I did. Still gotta fix the old one, though.

4

What’s it’s main problem? I can ask my live in mechanic.

5

She picked this, inexplicably: suzuki sx4 - Search

6

Irony too rich to spread on toast.

7

I did not know that was a thing.

8

Yea, I know. Ain’t there some kinda rule or law that causes this?

9

Neither did I, till I was in the back seat for a test-drive.

Hey, I got my thing, and I guess she does, too. (I drove it once, it’s not too bad, in “manual-automatic” mode. But it ain’t no 1971 BMW)

Of course, I’ll be stealin’ it once the snow falls like last year again. AWD and like-new Blizzacks… :wink:

10

Around here, it’s called Gaudere’s Law, after one of the original moderators of the board.

11

Yep, I knew I read it somewhere.

12

EEEWWWWW she picked bing?!

13

Well, she picked me, so her ineptitude is waning.

14

You have made me laugh 3 times tonight. My cats think I have lost my mind.

15

Waxing, my dear.

16

Not sure about that.

He may be not be native English speaker. Perhaps he’s a recent immigrant who doesn’t speak English well, but he may still be a very good mechanic.

Likewise, the lack of a spare. It could be for any number of reasons.

17

I remember dropping my parents’ car off at their new mechanic’s place for a service. I was told to be there 8.30 am, got there bang on time, place still locked up. Sat in the car outside, and heard this godawful noise coming up the road, I mean, I’m pretty clueless about cars, but this thing sounded like an F1 lawnmower with a percussion section. It got louder, especially the banging, until it made the loudest bang yet, followed by dead silence. Then this clapped out old wreckage coasted round the corner, up to the garage door, and the mechanic stepped out.

My Dad found a new mechanic shortly afterwards.

18

Many new cars are coming w/o a spare. For some, buying a donut tire is now an option instead of included equipment but for others, there’s not even a wheel well to put one in if you want to buy one. You get a can of fix-a-flat; which does ‘jack shite’ if he had a blowout.

I’ve also had a tire/wheel seize to the car. Removed the lugnuts but still couldn’t get the tire off. Ended up calling roadside assistance; the guy came with a 8-10" wooden mallet & it even took him a couple of whacks until it freed.
IOW, knowing how to fix a flat & having the right tools with you, on the road, are not necessarily the same thing.

19

A confident mechanic wouldn’t have a spare, or even tools, in his car. Why would he?

20

Because the things that flatten your tires (i.e. potholes and road debris) have nothing to do with how expertly you maintain your vehicle.