Velo bears – Trails will be closed until conclusion of the Tour de Bruin.
-“BB”-
West End Bears: Trails are opened, as this is the East End.
Xeric bears. Trails are open for the duration of the drought. Situation to be reassessed once the rains come.
Yippe-Ki-Yay bears - Trails open for the duration of a showing of Die Hard, which will keep them distracted.
Zonked bears. Trail is closed today, as the bears had a pretty big night last night, so need a good rest.
Apoplectic bears: Trails are closed while the bears lose their shit.
Bloodsoaked bears.
Trails are closed to all hikers with immediate effect, like in Yellowstone.
Too soon?
Curmudgeon bears: Get off my trail!
Da Bears – Trails remain open. Nobody’s been worried about them for years.
(Go Packers!!)
-“BB”-
Elegant bears. The trails remain open until they finish their tea and cucumber sandwiches.
Fore bears. The trails are open, but let the ancestral critters play through.
Grizzly bears: The trail remains open. They’re quite normal.
After you. No need to thank me.
Hippie bears: Trails are open, dude, like, don’t be a bummer. It’s, like, cool, man.
Indecisive bears. Trail closed until bears settle down
(BTW I was biking on a trail last week and thought I saw a big Rottweiler or black Lab ahead. And then a bigger creature emerged and I realized it was a bear cub followed by its mother)
Lucky you weren’t between them.
Jubilant bears. They’re in a good mood, so trails remain open, but watch out in case their celebrations take them into your path.
Knackered bears. Would kill you if you got too close but are too tired to care. Trails are open until bears get their knackers back.