The term “alpine divorce” comes from a story by Robert Barr published in 1893, in which a hike by a couple who hate each other in the Alps takes an unexpected turn. Since then, the meaning has shifted somewhat; people now refer to an “alpine divorce” when one partner (often a woman, either alone or with children) is left helpless by their partner (usually a man) during a mountain tour or strenuous hike. In Austria, a man was recently convicted for this; his girlfriend, left behind completely exhausted, froze to death (see link) and obviously this was not the first time he did it, the other girlfriend had survived. While Googling online, I was surprised to discover that the “Alpine divorce” apparently isn’t all that rare. Quite a few women have had this experience: at some point during a hike, they became exhausted, had to slow down, and the man simply left them behind—without water, sunscreen, or food—because he wanted to be the first to reach the summit or to pass others.
My question: Has any of you ever had this kind of experience yourself, or witnessed it happen to friends or acquaintances? If so, how did you react? Would such a person also be taken to court in the US?
Sticking with male baddie & female victim here just for concreteness of exposition …
Do you mean the man simply unthinkingly prioritized their own hike over the woman’s wants, that inadvertently ballooned into a life threatening (or life ending) event for her once he was out of earshot? Or do you mean the man set out to create a scenario where he could trap the woman in the elements and thereby murder her without it appearing to be his fault?
In typical US law (50 states have 50 sets of laws), the former might arise to the level of involuntary or negligent manslaughter. The latter is premeditated murder. For sure the likelihood of prosecution depends on how young, cute, white, and blond the woman was, and how good or bad the man is at acting like a horrified victim of terrible luck himself.
People deliberately pushing other people off cliffs and later claiming they slipped and fell are almost a cliché. “I heard a scrabble, a scream, turned around, and she was gone!” Absent surveillance cameras or another unnoticed nearby hiker w a mobile phone cam, it’s probably the closest thing to a perfect murder. If the survivor can keep their composure under police scrutiny.
But no, “alpine divorce” is not a term this American has ever heard of. Perhaps folks who live in / near the mountains know of it, but it’s not mainstream US usage.
This isn’t about the “male baddie and female victim” trope. The situation simply arises because men are generally more resilient and physically tougher, so women tend to be unable to keep up in extreme situations.
I don’t know if you read the link: it’s about the baffling behavior of the man who refused help from the mountain rescue service and then turned off his phone. Both were extremely poorly equipped, though he was slightly better off than she was. The court was unable to prove premeditated murder. I’m more concerned with the basic human situation: leaving someone alone at night in sub-freezing temperatures during a challenging mountain climb strikes me as extraordinary behavior.
I think this extraordinary behavior stems from murderous ideation that finds an opportunity sweetened with plausible denial.
A ha. Gotcha. Yeah, that’s pretty surprising. IMO negligent homicide for sure, but also nearly negligent suicide. Which has gotta be sorta exonerating; reckless disregard for your own safety removes some of the assumed hurtful intent in reckless disregard for other’s safety.
But lots of people go on hikes into raw nature waay beyond their capability. Out of complete and total ignorance; nature is not like a city or suburban park, but they don’t know that and don’t know that they don’t know that. Usually they come back chastened but alive. Sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they need a pretty heroic rescue and are still damaged for life.
As to climbing towards a summit, there certainly is a mindset that amounts to sunk cost fallacy: “I’ve climbed 4000 feet already, it’d be dumb to quit 1000 feet from the top”. Not realizing that each foot gets harder as you climb, and gets harder as you tire. And not realizing that walking back down is not really that much less tiring than walking back up. And … So as fatigue and carelessness set in, they get a fixated idea to just keep climbing. Folks are found dead in postures clearly indicating they were still going uphill when they dropped.
@spiderman is in the rescue biz, including wilderness rescue, albeit in a low mountain, not high mountain, region. Perhaps he can give some expert commentary.
That’s what I thought, too. But then I found a whole series of posts online—especially on Reddit—in which people, mostly women but also, for example, a man with a physical disability, reported that they had been left helpless and without care. I don’t think secret fantasies of killing play a role here. Rather, it’s the desire to humiliate others and exert control. There are probably sadistic elements involved as well.
Hence my question: have Dopers experienced such cases themselves or know of them from their personal circles?
All true to a point, but the critical moment is where the humiliation and controlling turns into a life-threatening scenario. At that point, most sadistically bent assholes (without murderous ideation) would turn around and help their partner, rolling eyes and all.
Is your view that at that critical moment the assholes didn’t realize the gravity of the situation and thought the partner will follow sooner or later, properly humiliated? That would be the obvious explanation served to the investigators.
FWIW, when I talk about murderous ideation it doesn’t mean “I’m going to kill her when the opportunity arises”; it’s much more ephemeral and vague, a dark undercurrent that may come to the surface on occasion, amidst “I love you” etc.
Not quite the same, but my wife got exhausted while hiking through Valley of Fire state park near Las Vegas and I had to walk back to the car alone to pick her up. She had some water and we found a bit of shade for her to sit in, but I think it was still unpleasant for her.
Not at all the same. You cared for her during your absence and then picked her up again. That is the empathic human behavior one would expect in such a situation.
Maybe. But if you had asked my wife while she was still upset, she might well have complained about being forced to go on a grueling hike and then being stuck exhausted in the middle of nowhere with very little water and no food.
It’s very difficult to assess, since every situation is different and people’s mental states vary as well. But yes, some probably expect their partner to follow along later, having been humiliated in the process, and derive a certain satisfaction from that. In romantic relationships, there are also power games and a struggle for control. If the person left behind is physically unable to go any further, your suspicion of murderous ideation as a fantasy, exactly as you describe it, could be accurate. You simply never know other people’s inner life completely, even if you’ve known them for a long time.
I hadn’t heard of this, but I immediately thought of what was (and I think still is) called a “Spenard divorce” in Anchorage, AK, wherein an abused wife would wait for her husband to come home from a night of drinking and shoot him as he walked into the home, claiming that she thought he was an intruder.
Hadn’t heard the term prior to seeing this thread, but I understood it immediately upon seeing it.
This is because I’d read of a recent case in Salt Lake City that’s still fresh in mind, though that one was (alleged attempted) filicide and not uxoricide.
Hadn’t realized it was common enough to acquire a specific name, but sadly it’s not terribly surprising now that I know.
But I suppose you didn’t force her to come, she could have denied the hike if she really didn’t wish to go? So she might have been upset about herself because she agreed to come in the first place?
My point is that I’m not sure where on the internet you’re seeing “quite a few” cases of guys ditching their partners, but if it’s something like r/myhusbandsucks then you might be seeing a slanted view of the situation.
A few years ago I was on a hike up a mountain in Alaska with my girlfriend, and about two thirds of the way up she got tired and wanted me to proceed to the summit without her, then come back. Her thought process was that she didn’t want to hold me back, and that I could take photos at the summit and show her later.
As a former Boy Scout (and current scout leader), I categorically refused. In my mind, nobody gets left behind to continue a hike. I told her we either both continued on, or we were both turning around. There is absolutely no way I was leaving her alone on a trail in backcountry Alaska (which is home to brown bears aka “grizzly bears,” BTW). No summit is worth putting someone’s life in danger.
The only exception would be if: (1) one person was injured and unable to proceed; (2) there is no way to call for help; and (3) you are going to get help. Even this is fraught. It certainly doesn’t mean continuing on to the summit.
Anyway, on the hike in question, we stopped and rested for a while and she eventually decided she could continue on. (The hike was her idea, by the way, and it was planned by her.)
Have you considered the amount of people who, on lone hikes, manage to get themselves killed? Or people who die with one or more partners?
Absent additional evidence of malicious intent, I don’t see any more reason to jump to murder in the latter case than to suicide or murder-suicide in the former cases.
Yes this is correct, Reddit comments are not exactly a reliable source. That is why I referred to the case in Austria; it was heard in court and is therefore a reputable source.
I was invited to go on an all day hike down near Watkins Glen NY [some freaking amazing territory there] and got laughed at - I had a small day pack that I normally used to carry books in at school, 2 whole 16 oz bottles of water, 5 or 6 random granola-ish bars, a couple apples and a wrapped sandwich. I also had one of the cute little ‘space blankets’ [I used them because I hated sitting on wet yucky rocks tree stumps or ground] and a lighter [well also a pipe and some herb] See, I hate being hungry or thirsty, and I like being comfortable. I consider that as a minimum for going wandering anywhere - I suppose extra hot desert condition I would take closer to a gallon, and might take more in the way of munchies, but being prepared for emergencies is sensible.
I’ve never heard the term but it seems it is broad enough to apply to everything between over competitiveness, miscommunication and poor judgment, and gross negligence, manslaughter and premeditated homicide.
There are some very basic rules of outdoorsmanship that most participants are apparently unaware of, so I would never assume the worst without stronger evidence.