“The Straight Weed”
“The Straight Pot”
“The Straight Grass”
“The Straight Coke”
“The Straight Crack”
“The Straight Acid”
“The Straight Meth”
Are you not familiar with the idiom? 
I’m not gay! He is, tho.
Many idioms do not translate well between languages. So, I take the OP user name as indicating the idiom did not work for them. maybe
The Real Truth
The Actual Story
What’s the Story Behind…?
Does Anybody Know Why…
The Teeming Masses Demand Answers
Fighting Ignorance
The Linear Idiot
The Euclidean Fool
The Direct Dummy
Melts In Your Hand
The Bent Genius
Dumb Busters?
Tastes Like Chicken
Not In Your Mouth.
The Poop Scoop
The Unidimensional Opiate.
Imponderables
The Friends Of Cecil Adams Society.
The Unbent Unsmart.
So…we have to show up but we don’t have to say anything?
My name is White SIFL and I am a Luddite.
FacePalmBook.
Only if instead of Dopers, we get to refer to posters as “The Fighting Ignorants”.
The Smartest, the Hippest, and the Dipshits