I saw the subject line, “Alternatives to buying Greenland”, and I immediately thought of rent-to-own.
Seems easy. You just need Parliament to agree, and it’s done.
Canada! It would show them what all that nice-nice nonsense gets them in the end, and we get to more than double our size. Fuck yeah!
Don’t stop at Mexico. Buy all the way down to Panama. Much shorter wall!
I strongly suspect the current drive to land on the Moon has something to do with a real estate deal. The Mother of all real estate deals.
Why not annex a good big chunk of the ocean floor, dub it “Atlantis,” and give it statehood?
Buy Blueland and Yellowland and stir them together real good.
Wait a year after a no-deal Brexit and could probably pick it up for ten cents on the dollar!
I keep hoping that the reason he’s spent so much energy on North Korea is that he thinks he can start a “yuge” development there when he leaves office. And that he’ll finish his term, go there and then not be allowed to leave.
Another plan might be to send him a brochure on Sentinel Island, and tell him we have arranged an exclusive tour. . .
Kim may be able to get him to take a lease on this beauty, easily, just hand him over some simulations of how it would look with YUGE letters spelling Ttump on each side. Getting him to actually pay for the lease would be a different problem, but whatever.
Now we’re cooking!
So, he buys Greenland, and then finds out it is all a big block of ice, so he looks a his advisors, and they look at each other, and one of them says, “I heard of this place called ‘The Land of Fire’. That might fix this problem. We should buy that!”
What about a trade? Greenland for Florida and Texas? We get a beautiful island rich in resources, with room to counter Russia and China’s moves in the Arctic; while the Greenlanders get to experience humidity, Sansabelt pants, bigass belt buckles, and rum-based cocktails for the first time. (We won’t tell them about the sparrow-sized mosquitos.) We also get rid of Ted Cruz, Louie Gomert, and Marco Rubio. Win-win!
Moderating: I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt because you are most likely using the term for effect and not out of malicious intent so I’m not giving you a warning. Do not use hate speech terms to spice up your posts.
How about where the locals would be willing part of a sale: Taiwan. China might get irked, though.
Why not a reality show where each week we get to reject a country to buy after real Americans text in their votes? Countries could compete with military parades, culture, attractive citizenry, etc. At the end we buy the country that wins and it becomes our 51st state.
Think of the ratings!
Being a real-estate tycoon means buying and selling. Let’s trade Detroit to Canada for a case of Labatt Blue. Hear me out here:
- the adjustment is simple: just a slight adjustment to a line on the map. And BOOM! - no more mid-bridge or mid-tunnel border nonsense.
- Canada gets a class-1 city, and with it an NFL team (arguably, anyway), an NBA team and the remnants of a Major League team
- Detroiters get Canadian health care, and Canadian citizenship and with it, a brand new reputation
- The US gets rid of detroit, AND a case of beer!
Who doesn’t win in this scenario? I’ll draw up the papers.
I think we need to buy Freedonia. Hey, if we’re to have a clown running the show, at least we can have some funny ones…
The Duchy of Grand Fenwick?