Kitty Genovese isn’t a fair analogy. Kitty Genovese screamed as she was being murdered for at least 32 minutes, and nobody even called the police until after 45 minutes. legion knew he had to do something; he started to go help the kid, but decided to call the police instead of go possibly make things worse for the kid and make a widow and orphans of his wife and children, a decision that was helped by seeing that the lunatics friend had dragged him off the kid.
It easy to say what he should have done, and what we would have done, but we weren’t there and didn’t have to make that snap decision. The kid apparently didn’t recieve any further stompings as a consequence of legion’s decison to not get physically involved, so maybe he did the right thing. Who knows? If I was there I’d like to think I would have beat the hell out of the guy, and his friend, and any Golden Glove boxers who happened to wander around the corner if they wanted some shit too, but in reality I might have gone out and gotten a knife in the throat for my troubles and not helped the kid anyway, or might have been frozen by fear or indecision, or God only knows what. It’s too easy to play “Armchair Asskicker” on the internet.
Ok one little annoyance here. Why is everyone so afraid of this one kid? Why is everyone (mostly) putting superpowers of evil on this kid?? This guy is swinging and missing his girlfriend so he takes it out on some poor little 14 year old who obviously couldnt protect himself. What was about this low-lifes stated behavior so menacing that he would keep whole neighborhoods in abject fear of their lives?
I am not advocating coming out of the door and ripping off your shirt and doing the Bruce Lee meow sounds. j.c. and Zenster got it right. Get out the door, turn on the porch light and let these people know there are witnessess to their illegal act. No asskicking is required. Just some balls.
The main reason to be hesitant in getting physically involved in a domestic dispute is because you’re risking your life if you do. Most homicides occur because of arguments, domestic ones in particular. Still, I agree that the proper course of action would probably be to turn on the porch light and say “Cops on on their way, pal”, recognizing that not everyone is going to have the presence of mind to take the proper course of action.
I don’t know, they sound pretty major to me (especially ‘stalking your kids’). And sure, you can call the police, but could you prove anything?
See, for me there’s a quandary: if he is just some punk kid having a tantrum, then why is it so important to intervene? OTOH, if he’s actually dangerous, and therefore it is important to intervene, then it would be highly risky for you to do so. It’s a catch-22 situation.
I would have been more gung-ho before I had a child. I might put myself at risk, but not my child.
All you really needed to do, is grab a gun, and go outside and point it at the guy, and say knock it off buddy, the cops are on the way.
Most people arent dumb enough to pull a gun on you, if you already have a gun out. Just make sure that you go inside the house before the cops arive, or put the gun on the ground.
You coulda done a lot more… and yea… i dont have kids or a wife, but it was pretty cowardly. You can justify/rationalize it anyway you want, but you had a chance to help someone who was near death, and you backed off.
Did you do what was in your best interests? Maybe. But had that kid died… you would be in a hell of a much worse position, and the kids parents would be screaming at you, “WHY DIDN TYOU HELP MY SON YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH.”
Getting physically involved in a fight should be avoided whenever possible. That said, the OP could have done better, the police needed phoning when the first punch was thrown, or even at the first disturbance of the peace if such things are really unusual where yuou live. Making sure the combatants know they are being watched is also useful, shout at them from an upstares window or similar safe position. Phone neighbours if you can, if you can safely get to your car, do so and use its full power headlights to illuminate the schene (from a distance with the engine running for your own saftey). Only risk yourself getting harmed if you have reason to believe someone is getting killed out there, make lots of noise and cary a weapon (ideal carry a large pan and a heavy stick, bang the stick on the pan whilst approaching slowly). You want at all times to make the combatants best plan of action to run away, so don’t sneak up on them, and don’t run at them.
Now this has happened, talk to your neighbours, make sure you all have each others phone numbers, arrange a plan you can all be happy with. A dozen home owners, bangiong pots and pans from their door way can be significantly intimidating even to a Mike Tyson or Arnie.
I am going under the pressumption I was watching them argue. I wouldve likely have made an assessment on what the low-lifes abilities were. Judging from what was stated in the OP it seems to be a stereotypical over-jealous boyfriend releasing his frustrations on someone. His friends seem to be trying to calm him down, so to me, that means these people arent gangbangers. They seem to me like to be just messed up kids. I suspect the 14 year olds knew the other 4 and crossed the street for a reason. I dont think the low life walloped him just because he was available. Judging by the passionate violence inflicted on his head while probably unconscious, i would even guess that the kid is the GF’s shagger. Anyone being in the wrong place at the wong time might a shove, even a right hook but the stomping is personal.
Call the police as soon as you notice an illegal act. Swinging at your GF constitutes attempted assault or battery. Hitting the 14 year old IS assault. Stomping on his head is near attempted manslaughter. At the very lest yelling loud enuf to wake up the neighborhood is disturbance. If you feel at risk handling it yourself, call the people whose job it is to handle these things. Let the police sort them out.
You called the police as soon as it got more serious than some drunken idiots pounding on each other. You kept yourself safe and anonymous. You did exactly the right thing. Think about Beowulf–there’s a difference between being a king and a warrior.
Next time, call a little earlier. I once got on the phone with the police decribing a ruckus of a different sort outside my house. I never went outside, I just did a blow by blow account of what was happening. In the beginning, I was low priority, the operator was almost ready to blow me off and tell me a unit was on its way have a nice day and so on. But Things changed dramatically right at that time and all of a sudden I was top of the priority list. Police cars almost instantaneously appeared everywhere. They were able to diffuse a critical situation just by coming in with sirens blaring. An hour of talking with the ruckus makers then a couple of cops came by my house, took my name and info and thanked me for the call.
Several years ago I heard a man being beaten up outside my apartment building. I know just what you meant when you said that at first you couldn’t believe what was happening. I remember sitting there for a minute thinking “no, it can’t really be what I think it is.”
Once I realized it was, in fact, an assault in progress I had no idea what to do. I’m a 5’4" woman who weighs all of 120 lbs and I’ve never been in an actual fight. All I could think to do was call the police, which I did. As I was on hold (yes, Baltimore 911 puts you on hold, but that’s another story) a neighbor opened her window and started screaming that the police were on their way and they’d better leave now. Sure enough, the hoodlums ran off. It didn’t aid the police at all in catching them, but it did get them to stop beating up on the poor guy.
I guess, in my sheltered life, I never thought of what to do in a situation like that. But if it happens again, I’ll do what my neighbor did, scream that the police are on their way–while I’m waiting an eternity on hold with 911.
I guess the point of my story is that if you’re not familiar with these kinds of situations it’s hard to figure out the best course of action while it’s in progress.
At the time, you didn’t know if anyone was armed. You didn’t know if more were on the way to join the fight, or if those who were previously defending the woman would have gone after you had you gotten involved.
I cannot believe people use the fact that someone might do damage to their property or attempt to hurt their family as a rationalization to attempt to stop a guy from killing a child!
They are saying that they would not attempt to stop this if it happened right outside their house! My God, people, listen to what you are saying!
If fear is what motivates you…what do you think the father of that child will do to you if he finds out you could have stopped his child from being killed but didn’t? Do you think he might just be a tad pissed off? Maybe he would like you to experience what he is feeling? Does that motivate you to act?
Justifications of a coward, IMO.
Like others have said, you don’t have to go blazing out of the house and jump the guy fists and bats aswinging but you do need to get out there and make a huge amount of noise and distraction.
As for the OP, I have respect for him. He KNOWS he did wrong. You can tell by the way he wrote his post. This is a man with potential. A true coward wouldn’t be doing the soul-searching that he is doing and doing it publically.
People, we need to start acting like we are worth something. If it becomes acceptable behavior to not help a child being killed then the human race isn’t worth spit.
IMO let the dumbfucks kill each other. Just don’t disturb my sleep while doing it. And mind the flowers. Hope I don’t have to hose off my sidewalk afterwards.
Please explain to me the nature of the duty you owe these strangers who voluntarily get themselves in such a situation?
That’s some rosy world-view you have there, Dinsdale – only deserving and stupid bad guys get their heads stomped on by other deserving and stupid bad guys.
Get out much?
For all we know the youth might have been the “brother” of the “girlfriend” who quite appropriately might be challenging the assaulter to cease trying to lay blows on his sister.
We live in a world that is often threatening and violent, your morally void complacency makes you part of the problem.
We are all “self-interested” (some more than others), in my time I have done some brave and some cowardly things, I know which made me feel better, and which made the world a better place.
I live in the city centre where this type of thing is become more and more frequent at night. If you chose not to go out and fight / protect the little guy, out of concern for your personal safety, I’d say your were damn right. Eventually, you’re gonna get yourself bottled, shot or stabbed. Too bad if drunks & drug-dealers kill each other. After a few years of City Centre living you get too wise.
On the other hand, hitting a woman is * always * over the line. The last time I stepped in to stop a BF whacking the crap out of his bird, she attacked me with cries of “You bleedin’ leave my fella alone - righ’ ?” and punched me in the face…
Do you know, Tarantula, I’ve never understood this, it makes no sense – never hit anybody, now that’s a rule (if a rather cosy one), but never hit a woman*? Why not? Seems a bit, um,… patronising to me (as does the epithet bird, BTW, YMMV).
*not a thing I’ve ever had cause to do, but I could conceive of circumstances…
“All that is needed for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.”
Your duty as a citizen and resident of your neighborhood is to make sure people like this low life will not be given the impression that he can do anything he damn well wants with impunity. Next time he may attack your freinds or family.
The unspoken Man rule is to fight only those that can fight back so that its a fair fight. This was made back in the days when women were the “dainty” sex and were very rarely known t put up a significant fight. Another rule that corrolates to this is never hit anyone smaller than you (same principle) Needless to say neither rule really applies today but as a old fashion guy I would never hit a woman either…unless she she strikes me first and even then I might just withdraw if I think the woman is no match for me.